Decent

The word triggered a deep sense of discord. I could hardly contain myself at the women’s conference when I read the word, decent, on the bookmark. Looking back what I remember about the way I felt is that I wanted to be rid of what I was feeling. Somehow, I needed to get rid of this feeling that I could hardly bare. What I know now is that feeling is shame.

Tears flowed as I dried myself off. If only the shower could wash away all the dread I held onto. There was nowhere for me to go with this disgust. I just could hardly stand being with myself. And then, this tender merciful draw came to me. It was then that I grasped the idea to say, “Forgive me Lord.”

The tears gently streamed down my face. My breathing became shallower. Calm washed over me as if I had been showered with a fresh look. That look was on the inside of me. The acknowledging of my shame presented to God, my precious Father in Heaven, in Jesus’ name, and my deepest longing to be rid of shame, became a most humble reality for me. I was met with the most precious words to soothe me. This is how we are refined and learn how to give grace to others because we all face the same turmoil.

Consoled, I could grasp the concept of feeling held. I felt nurtured. Having this conversation with God was so soothing. My deepest regrets revealed to Him, and as any loving parent would do, He gently acknowledged my sorrow and reminded me that because of my sinful nature, doing things my way, enticed by all those things that we really know we should not do, is why He came in human form. He sent his Son, Jesus to show us at the utmost degree how much we need to pay attention to Him. Grasping the reality of His story brings forth fortitude by those who come to know Him. Otherwise, the depth is dark.

As we become aware of who Christ is, we become aware of the things we have done that are not the best choices. Be gentle on yourself here. When we notice those thoughts coming to the forefront, we bring them to our Savior. We tell him what is going on. We tell him what we are remorseful about. By doing so, we acknowledge our need for Him. It affirms our connection to Him, and the experience confirms your faith in Him. That is how Christians know that God is who He says He is. It is a personal experience only felt by the believer.

This is where we begin to understand the concept of forgiveness. This is another subject I have spent years coming to complete surrender with. I will write on this topic as I am led.

What I know is this: God loves me so incredibly much. Just look at this most beautiful ‘playground’ he has us on. Is it not so amazingly remarkable? Do you realize how much you want to just live peacefully each day? On the contrary, do you see?all?that entices you? Living in whatever culture you are in, subjects you to everyone flooded with their own sinful nature. So, what you can do is be mindful of your own. Grace blossoms here.

In all circumstances and wherever you go, be mindful of you and your relationship with God. As you go about your day, be mindful of all the times you are leaning toward a sinful nature. Practice immediate repentance which aligns you with our precious Father through His Son. Tethered to Christ, (notice I say, tethered), you are actively and consciously aware of what you are thinking. Focused on Christ, you will make decisions that relate to His Way. He will be there guiding you to turn away from the very thing that will cause you harm. Be aware of your sinful nature to do things without God! It is not something to freak out about, it is something to be deliberate about. And your awareness is what becomes so lovely, and so beautiful. So soothing and decent. Loving and kind. To self, and others. All because you choose Him. He Guides us how to be. With His discernment.

Remember, as leaders (those that help one another), Christ teaches us, and it is through Holy Spirit that refinement ensues through Him, and with Him. Through the Power of the Holy Spirit. Be gentle with yourself. All this knowledge that I have come to know is through?years?of living, seeking his Word in all my struggles, and abiding in His Love for me. Through my development, and refinement through His Grace upon me, the Fruit of His Spirit pours out. Refinement is like the fragrance of a flower as it develops in its maturity.

If you are feeling down. Have a conversation with Christ. Repent of what troubles you. Read your Bible. Look up words in the index that describe what you are experiencing. Read scripture that gives insight on how to overcome. Blessings to you, my friend. XO