DECENCY

I cannot help but think we find ourselves in a timeframe of history where history itself is being attacked. At the same time, we seem to want to change our future history by using law or legislation, placing the emphasis on Governments and Authorities to right the wrongs. There is of course a valid place for this. But it doesn’t necessarily fix the problems.

History is a terrible, terrifying and relentless monster. The best we can do is try to understand it. Our own lives may not form part of history but then I believe my life is more important. I believe your life is more important. I believe all our children’s lives are more important. 

I find today’s world full of self-righteousness. The corporate ESG message. The corporate “We support Black Lives Matter”. The politicians who now display a consciousness of caring. It has become a marketing must have. Now the NHS get thanked in every waking hour. All of a sudden you get, “one of best friends is black”. Oh yea. Now you get, “we care about the environment”. Oh yea. Right on dude.

Self-righteousness has infected all sides of politics and society. In governments there is a superiority and self-belief that the average person’s actions, beliefs or affiliations are less than valid or virtuous. But history teaches us that every atrocity was carried out by people who were in total belief in their righteousness. The Spanish conquistadors with the flag of God. The murderous marauding Crusaders at Ayyadieh. The Nazi’s, the Houthi’s with Allah on their side and child soldiers, etc.

The more utterly convinced of your own self righteousness the more likely you are to be utterly wrong. Typically, they are false certainties and that takes you over the cliff edge.

What is lacking in today’s world is decency. My parents were from the north of England and not from a privileged economic background. My grandfather fought and survived the First World War as did his son in the Second. They were not wealthy but they were decent. I was taught that decency was the most important strength a man could have. It was nothing to do with religion but all to do with being a man.

Am I decent? Probably not always, but I try to be. Would my father think I was doing the decent thing? I truly hope so.

What is decency?

Decency is and has always been a somewhat mysterious thing. Even the great philosophers struggled with it. The Age of Enlightenment philosopher, Immanuel Kant saw minimal decency as a minimal requirement of kindness. Yet he was a massive racist, writing “humanity exists in its greatest perfection in the white race... “.

Socrates encourages us to question everything that we take for granted. Therefore, we should question what we perceive as ordinary decency. The conundrum is that to aspire to be a decent human being is at the same time to admit we are weak or have weaknesses. So, to me the first thing is to admit is you have those weaknesses. Try to identify them. Maybe what Carl Jung called the human personality’s shadow, the part that judges harshly, that contains the bigotry and hate and pushes others aside in selfishness.

To admit weakness is to evidence modesty. I think modesty is probably the cornerstone of decency. This modesty allows us to laugh at ourselves. To admit weakness and failings. In today’s world the word modesty is an abused word. It has become exclusively used to describe appearance, normally female dress sense.

More relevantly, modesty is, “if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” (my mother). Today’s social media contents show we have forgotten and forget to teach this. Politicians have most clearly forgotten. Maybe it is because to be immodest is actually to be afraid of being considered ordinary and weak.

Being modest allows us to absorb knowledge. We learn better. Learning brings greater understanding. Greater understanding brings greater tolerance. Beware false modesty and it’s hunt for praise.

Decency is kindness. Again, I think we have forgotten kindness. The word hardly gets a look in. Do you ever read, “I wish I had been kinder”? “We were wrong, we should have been kinder”. Maybe next we should have a “Kindness Policy”. Personally, I find society has returned to relishing and being entertained by unkindness. In many ways and instances our modern media is about belittling people like Victorian freak shows. The failure on the Apprentice is as much the reason many view the program, as the successful candidate. What about the humiliating dating-based shows or get me out of the jungle? Of course, we are nice but in the world of streamed instant gratification we have no time or patience for kindness.

To be decent is to be noble. To be noble is to have courage, honesty, integrity, respect and kindness. Being noble is to look to focus on good not harm. Being noble is to invest and re-invest in particularly people and their lives. To act with dignity and dignity is about respect. The respect for others. Today’s world does not invest and re-invest in lives, particularly the lives of those who most need it. But self righteously professes to care about the poor, the sick and the needy.

Decency is not a weakness. In my mind to be decent is to know when to act but not for virtue’s sake. It is to act out of kindness and noble humanity. Today we have too much self-righteousness and sanctimony. We don’t teach decency; we don’t have leadership that displays it.

During the trial of Socrates, he begins his defence by telling the jury that their minds had been poisoned when they were young. He accuses his accuser of corrupting the youth by being indifferent to the very things which the accuser professes to care about. Sound somewhat familiar? I may not be the most decent man, but at least I know and admit it.