The December Childhood Trauma Newsletter

Happy-ish holidays and welcome to the December 2022 issue of the Childhood Trauma Newsletter. The holiday season can be a cocktail of every emotion with more highs and lows than a person with diabetes on Christmas cookies (guilty!). So to try and make this season a little less topsy-turvy, I have a few trauma tips I would like to share with you.

Holiday Trauma Tips -

• Breaking or adjusting traditions is acceptable if they make your children uncomfortable or don't feel right in your heart. This can be hard to do without feeling guilty, but when you do what feels right inside, everyone benefits from receiving the highest version of your family. It's truly a gift to others to live in alignment with who you are, not a punishment. When you are struggling to handle a tough situation this season, ask yourself, "what would the most confident, loving, and self-respectful version of me do?" Then do it.
• Young children who are sensitive or have a history of trauma will likely be activated this time of year, and their behavior can be challenging, to say the least. This isn't because they are "troubled kids," "manipulating," or "defiant." Their behavior is an essential clue to how they are feeling inside.?

Their nervous system might be overwhelmed by:?

• Sensory input - lights, music, parties, candy, noise
• Trauma memories that occurred this time of year
• Changes in routine
• Lack of sleep
• Uncertainty and grief about biological parents
• Fear about gatherings/meeting new people
• Santa breaking into the house (my kid)
• Unfamiliar traditions in their foster family
• And many more…
• Children also pick up on?our?energy, and their nervous system "links up" with ours. Those closest to us begin to vibrate at a similar pitch if we are stressed. If you are over-scheduled, time-poor, and feeling stretched too thin, so will children who are sensitive and attuned to you. This does not mean it's your fault. It means we shouldn't blame them for their behavior. We all are under a lot of pressure, and staying regulated can be challenging when the holiday season also activates caregiver grief and trauma. Offer children some leeway to express their emotions through art, storytelling, physical activity, and even crying more than usual. Providing an outlet for their feelings can turn a hostile holiday into a happy one.

Favorite Trauma Books of 2022 -

My gift to you this year is a round-up of my favorite parenting and trauma-informed books of 2022! These books are not mentioned in any particular order, and I do not receive any compensation for suggesting them. Don't miss the book I'm reading in 2023 summarized at the bottom of the round-up. The title will definitely catch your attention!

Podcast Suggestion -

Therapy Chat?with Laura Regan, LCSW-C

Laura Reagan, LCSW-C, Psychotherapist, Burnout Prevention Consultant, and Certified Daring Way? Facilitator, interviews guests to discuss holistic and alternative approaches in psychotherapy, counseling, coaching, and healing sessions. Be a fly on the wall as therapists discuss the practice of psychotherapy and how they implement self-care into their own lives to prevent therapist burnout. Conversations about mindfulness, self-compassion, The Daring Way?, EMDR, art therapy, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, other somatic methods, trauma, parenting, and attachment will get you thinking deeply about therapy and the universal experience of being human, with all the joy and pain that entails.

Trauma Champion of the Month: Jevon Wilkes?

Executive Director -?California Coalition for Youth

I met Jevon through the ConnectOurKids.org advisory team while creating the Connections Matter Academy, a series of animated videos to help children in foster care cope with trauma. Jevon is not only surviving his life experiences, he is thriving. His story left a lasting positive impression on me, so I want to share his beautiful soul with you!?

"All of my life experiences lead me to this opportunity. To utilize my education, talents, passion, and lived experience to serve in a capacity to help California's disconnected youth get connected."

Jevon Wilkes has dedicated over 14 years to CCY as a Youth Board Member and the Membership Vice-Chair for the organization. Jevon received a Bachelor's Degree in Communication Studies from the California State University Channel Islands.

Jevon's passion for serving vulnerable youth populations comes from his lived experience with homelessness, the foster care system, and being a disconnected youth, giving him a wide understanding of the vital work CCY is doing. Jevon is excited to lead CCY forward and answer the call of thousands of youth in need of support and to spearhead the effort in advocating for public policies that improve their lives and help them learn how to empower themselves.

Upcoming Event -

January 24, 2023 12 - 1 pm ET - FREE webinar hosted by Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting

Occupational Therapy to Help Children with Trauma: Featuring guest speaker and occupational therapist Maddie Rutherford. Learn what occupational therapy is and how it can help children cope with the aftermath of developmental trauma.?

Save the date and?REGISTER?now to confirm your seat. Follow me on my?Facebook?and?LinkedIn?pages for other news and events.?

Trauma-Informed Children's Book -

A Grandfamily for Sullivan?- published by me and available on Amazon. A?Grandfamily for Sullivan is a therapeutic book about kinship families, aka relatives raising other relatives children. My tender story is about a grandmother and a grandson who suddenly have to live together when his parents cannot keep him safe. The book answers Sullivan's big questions like, "Is this my fault?" And "What will happen next?" with age-appropriate, trauma-responsive language.

On a personal note…

The holiday season is always a mixture of emotions for me. As much as I LOVE me some Christmas cheer, I am also acutely aware that my mother is missing from the celebration. So I honor her by repeating the traditions she created for me as a child. A few of my favorites are baking cookies, watching the Charlie Brown special with my daughter, buying Christmas PJs to open on Christmas Eve, and playing holiday music non-stop in our house. Below is a pic of our living room this year. I wish you a magical little holiday and a hopeful new year!??

Lastly, if you want to stay in touch with me, please subscribe to my free monthly newsletter at BethTyson.com. I hope to see your name in my email list soon!

With hope, love, and grief,

Beth