December 2023 Newsletter
Debbie Chen, CPCC, CPA, CGA
Dream Maximizer | Accountant | Coach | Facilitator | Speaker
Happy December! We are officially in the holiday season ?.
Christmas has always been one of my favourite holidays. It’s festive, it’s warm, it’s a time where family and friends get together. When I was a child, my grandpa, though he didn't have much, always took our entire family to our favourite steakhouse on Christmas Day. We’d dress up, sit at a long table with white tablecloth and fancy cutlery, kids on one side and adults on the other, eagerly awaiting the sizzling plate with a beautiful steak. For my grandpa, the joy came from the smile on our faces.?
That’s what Christmas represents to me: celebration, togetherness, and generosity.
As a child, receiving generosity was easy. As I grow older, the act of receiving feels less natural, often layered with guilt and stress.?
In many cultures, women are expected to take on the role of the caretaker. We are supposed to love and give unconditionally. Over time, it becomes challenging for us to prioritize ourselves and the act of receiving becomes an unfamiliar and uncomfortable practice.
As the holiday season approaches, this imbalance of giving and receiving is amplified, potentially causing more stress and exhaustion.
In this issue of The Holistic CFO Newsletter, I invited Deborah Goldstein , Principal and Philanthropy Advisor at Enlightened Philanthropy, an expert in philanthropy, to share her insights on finding harmony between giving and receiving. Deborah reflects on how we often focus on giving, but the art of receiving deserves equal attention. Her questions prompt us to consider our comfort with both giving and receiving during this season of generosity, and invite self-reflection as we navigate through the holidays. Thank you Deborah.
My son recently had a birthday and he requested a specific LEGO set. I was glad to know what he wanted that would make him happy. However, once he knew the gift was in the house, he was determined to find it. That made me upset because I wanted to surprise him and make his birthday special, but he was having trouble waiting until his birthday. I struggled with how to explain this to him so that we could both enjoy the experience, but I wouldn’t have known I needed to do this unless I was aware of what was occurring. And now I have a secure hiding spot too.
As we move into the giving season, whether it be gifts to family or employees or causes we care about, gifts of time or expertise or money, before you give, take time yourself to think about giving first.
When was the last time I gave?
What did I give?
How did it make me feel?
Would I change anything about that experience?
What can I learn from that experience that can be applied to giving in the future?
The same questions can be used to reflect on how you receive as well!
I recently received some feedback from clients: our session was slow. At first, I was surprised by what they said because I thought I packed a lot into our short time together. Then I talked with colleagues to see if they’d ever received similar feedback. And I talked with the clients individually to better understand what they meant. In the end, I came away with a better understanding of my client’s needs, plus a desire to sometimes be intentionally slow in my work if the situation calls for that.?
When was the last time you received something?
What did you receive (e.g., compliment, feedback, gift, award)?
How did it make you feel?
Would you change anything about that experience?
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What can you learn from that experience that can be applied to receiving in the future?
These are just a couple of examples to get you thinking. We are constantly giving and receiving on a daily basis, yet how aware are we of how we’re feeling in that moment of interaction? How can we bring awareness to these acts of connection?
Deborah's insights encourage us to bring awareness to our acts of connection during this holiday season, fostering meaningful and connected experiences with our loved ones and with ourselves.?
About Deborah
Deborah Goldstein , founder of Enlightened Philanthropy, leverages over 25 years of experience in fundraising and nonprofit management to guide philanthropists. Through an intuitive process, she aligns clients' values with their giving, supporting them in realizing a detailed philanthropic vision outlined in a Philanthropy Plan. Goldstein fosters meaningful family moments by bridging generational gaps, and she is the visionary behind Philanthropy Camp for Women. Holding a BA in Biology from Wittenberg University and a Master’s Degree in Marine Policy with a Certificate in Museum Studies from the University of Delaware, Goldstein's expertise is complemented by her role as a 21/64-certified consultant and Co-Dean of Philanthropy for the Purposeful Planning Institute.
Deborah can be found online at enlightenedphilanthropy.com.
I’ve decided to start an ongoing Q&A segment where I address questions that have emerged from my workshops and 1-1 client interactions. This allows me to delve into recurring themes that resonate with many of you. The question below is particularly relevant to the current newsletter theme and the holiday season:?
Q: What work can someone do to feel deserving of a certain amount of money??
A: So many of us grapple with feeling undeserving, which creates barriers to receiving financial abundance! Here are some inner work you can do to start cultivating that feeling of deservingness:
Embracing these practices can lead to a profound shift in your perception of deservingness, paving the way for financial abundance. As we navigate this season of giving and receiving, it’s important to remember that you are deserving of the prosperity you seek!
Wishing you a restorative and abundance-filled holiday season!
With Gratitude,
Debbie Chen, CPA, CGA, CPCC, ACC
The Holistic CFO?