Debunking Myths About Non-Binary People

Over the past few years non-binary identities have challenged the long-standing gender binary and expanded our understanding of gender diversity.

However, as with most positive steps forward, there are those that continue to push back on the non-binary community's fluid reform of what gender means.

As a result, there have been, and there still are, numerous misconceptions and myths surrounding non-binary individuals - each as ridiculous, harmful and just straight up offensive as the next - which continues to negatively impact the mental and physical health of the community.

Today, I'm going to be addressing some of these myths and misconceptions, debunking them and shedding light on the realities of non-binary experiences. In doing this, I hope to promote a more accurate understanding of non-binary identities and so that more people feel they can stand by us in our fight for equality.

So, let's get into it!

Myth 1: Non-Binary Identities are a New Trend or Fashionable Statement

Give me strength.

As a queer person, growing up all I wanted to be was what society deemed as 'normal' for my appearance - a straight, cisgender female. I just wanted to fit it. I didn't want a target on my back for others to shoot at. If I had a choice back then, I would have opted for life as a straight, cisgender female. But here's the thing...

Gender identities are not a trend, or a fashion statement. They are not something you choose, they are a deeply engrained part of your being.

I didn't come out as non-binary until I was 29 years old, that's how much I wanted to try and just live as a cisgender female. But laying awake one night next to my partner, I just couldn't hold it in anymore, this core part of my being that had been locked away for 29 years just couldn't stay that way anymore.

It baffles me that one of the most persistent myths about non-binary identities is that they are a trend or a fashionable statement not only because is it just stupidly offensive, but also because non-binary identities have existed across cultures and throughout history - they are not a new thing! Indigenous cultures, such as Two-Spirit individuals among Native American tribes, have long recognised and respected non-binary identities. Non-binary experiences can also be found in various other cultural and historical contexts.

The recent increase in individuals identifying as non-binary is not because they are following a trend, it is a natural uplift due to the increased visibility and recognition of non-binary identities within society. More people are understanding their gender identities, and feeling safer to express them.

Just because there are now more non-binary people, it doesn't mean that there is a trend to be followed. With all of the negativity surrounding the LGBTQIA+ community, and more specifically the trans and non-binary community right now, openly identifying as non-binary is the literally opposite of following a trend.

Myth 2: Non-Binary People are Just Confused about Their Gender

Let me ask you something...

Why, when there are over 8 billion people living on Earth, are we expected to fall within 2 simple categories of gender?

Mental health, physical health, neuro-diversity, sight, height, weight, voice tone..... they're all key parts of our being and they are all recognised as existing on a spectrum. So, why not gender?

The assumption that non-binary individuals are confused about their gender is based on there only being two gender options, which simply isn't true. In a similar way to how bisexual individuals are perceived to be in a phase of uncertainty about their sexuality, non-binary individuals are perceived to be in a phase of uncertainty with their gender.

Am I male? Am I female? Well actually, I'm neither, but when it comes to gender, we're only presented with 'this' or 'that' as options.

In reality, non-binary individuals often have a deeper and more valid understanding of their gender identities than binary individuals. We understand what we are despite the options society has given us. And we're not trying to fit ourselves into a box which, ironically, would be confusing because neither option would feel quite right.

Non-binary people often experience a disconnect between their assigned sex at birth and their internal sense of self, and in doing so they open themselves up to a spectrum of everything in between male and female genders. While some identify as both male and female, others may not, finding that the binary options don't encompass the entirety of their lived experiences as an individual.

If individuals are considered unique as a whole, why on earth are we told we must fit into the social construct of two genders? 8 billion unique individuals, and 2 options? It doesn't make sense!

What's important now is acknowledging that gender is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human experience. Non-binary individuals navigate their gender identities with introspection and self-reflection, just as anyone else does. Invalidating their identities as confusion dismisses their journey and perpetuates harmful stereotypes.

Myth 3: Non-Binary People are Attention-Seeking or Seeking Special Treatment

Am I seriously the only one who just wanted to fit in and not draw attention to myself growing up?

Does anyone else find it strange that those who think that non-binary people are attention seeking are often the ones seeking attention?

*sigh*

That non-binary individuals are attention-seeking or seeking special treatment is stupid.

Shouting about our desire for recognition and respect for our identities is not attention seeking or demanding special treatment, it's fighting for equality.

I personally am fed up of having to shout about it, but if I - we - don't, then change doesn't happen, and right now non-binary individuals in the UK are not legally protected, so yes, we're going to shout!

Like anyone else, non-binary individuals want to be acknowledged and respected for who they are. They seek inclusive spaces and understanding where their gender identity is recognised, valued, and affirmed. It is not about special treatment but rather about equal treatment and the right to be seen and heard without judgment or discrimination.

If you have nothing to shout about and demand, then you're probably a straight, cisgender white guy that's never had to fight for equal treatment in his damn life. Good for you and your privilege, but life isn't the same for the rest of us out there.

In a society that has historically marginalised and invalidated gender identities beyond the binary, advocating for our rights and visibility is the only way we can work towards a world that acknowledges and respects the diverse spectrum of gender identities.

Myth 4: Non-Binary Individuals are Just "Going through a Phase" or Will Eventually "Choose" a Binary Identity

Now, I am a sucker for a phase...

Preppy phase? Check

Chav chipmunk music phase? Check

Goth phase? Check

Emo phase? Still haven't quite made it out of that one...

My point is that I've been through phases growing up, of course I have, it was one of the main ways that I tried to fit in with everyone else.

Being non-binary though? Less of a phase and more of something that I tried actively not to 'participate' for years until I just couldn't anymore.

Can you see where I'm going here?

The myth that non-binary identities are a temporary phase or that non-binary individuals will eventually "choose" a binary identity suggests that there is a choice in our gender identity. There simply isn't. And this misconception denies the validity and stability of non-binary experiences - this is NOT okay!

Gender identity is deeply personal and unique to each individual. For some non-binary individuals, their identity remains consistent throughout their lives, while others may experience shifts and exploration within the non-binary spectrum. Exploring and growing your gender identity does not mean that you're going through a phase with the ability to choose, it simply means that you're expanding what is possible for you as a person until you find what is right for you.

Gender is not static, it is a fluid experience that if given the opportunity to grow, will help each individual to truly find themself.

Non-binary identities are not a stepping stone to binary identities. And just as cisgender individuals do not face pressure to "choose" a different gender, non-binary individuals should not be expected to conform to a binary model or even a static non-binary model. Affirming non-binary identities means acknowledging and embracing the diversity of gender experiences, rather than imposing limitations or expectations.

Well, I think that's enough stupidity addressed for today...

That being said, debunking myths about non-binary individuals remains crucial in creating a more inclusive and understanding society. When we address and dispel misconceptions such as non-binary identities being a trend, confusion, attention-seeking, or a temporary phase, we can foster a culture of respect, acceptance, and celebration of gender diversity.

Remember, non-binary identities have always existed and that acknowledging and supporting non-binary individuals is a fundamental step towards a more equitable and inclusive future for all. So, let's all continue to challenge these myths, educate ourselves, and create spaces that embrace the richness and complexity of gender identities.