Debunked: Seven Myths about Networking You Need to Stop Believing ??????????????????

"If only I could be like **insert LinkedIn celebrity here** and have 100 million followers. But that's only for special people. It could never happen for me."

Those words sound familiar?

Because they do to me. I've said them.

It was September 7th, 2021. I had just downloaded LinkedIn.

Every day since, night after night, when I'd be getting ready for bed, I'd glance at my phone briefly--eh, not so briefly sometimes--to get a good idea of what was happening that day on LinkedIn. I was also looking for inspiration on how to post and network. The only people I was following at the time were a handful of iconic LinkedIn careerwomen and men who had multiple millions of followers---that I know they worked their butt off to gain. And yet, sometimes I grew tired of seeing nothing but perfectly worded statuses, perfect pictures, suits and ties, business pantsuits, briefcases, the whole deal. You get where I'm going with this.

That just wasn't me.

Day 9 I finally had had enough. I'm not trying to bash any of the LinkedIn influencers here--simply saying that I had come to the conclusion that personally I was never going to be the perpetual flawlessly dressed businesswoman, on LinkedIn or anywhere else.

Here are the myths I gathered that you need to stop telling yourself about growing your network on LinkedIn, right now:

• I need to have a closet full of expensive clothes to take gorgeous pictures with in order to make it on LinkedIn. Just, no. That's not even the point. LinkedIn isn't Instagram. And if people aren't in your network because they don't like the way you dress in your profile picture or in your posts, that's on them. (Just please try to wear something presentable/business casual, look clean, & taken with some light shining on your face) Head-on shots are probably best. And if the picture's taken outdoors, that's even better. My current profile picture was taken myself. I repeat: it was a timed selfie. I do NOT have a personal photographer following me around every day. Nor do I think I ever will. Take that pressure off of yourself. You're overcomplicating it. Just take a picture. There's nothing more eyebrow-raising than an empty profile picture, speaking for myself. I see that and I wonder, is this person a real person?
• I need to be famous first. NOPE. I am no one special. I have not sold a single book, starred in a movie, or anything of the kind. I don't know what it is but a lot of people I come across have this idea that they need to be Kim Kardashian herself to blow up on LinkedIn. Cut that out. It's not even a thing. It's not necessary that you have a Hollywood star with your name on it in order to have a large LinkedIn network. What's necessary is that people see value in following you and your journey.
• I have nothing to post about so I'll just post nothing. Well, news flash: it's the opposite. The more you post, the more LinkedIn will push out those posts to fresh eyeballs. I know some of you are still asking: "But what do I post??" Honestly? The day I stopped thinking about posting and just started doing it, things just went from there. It was still awkward and very scary the first three weeks but after that, posting felt almost effortless. It doesn't need to be fancy. It can be as basic as a "I just graduated bootcamp" post to "Just finished my ReactJS course". You can also post polls. You can ask questions, or request feedback. Your feed is your journal. Treat it as such. I've even posted shower thoughts. What I mean by that: the other night I posted how I finally got what a job interview really is (in hindsight, looking back over six months of failure). I talked about how interviews are simply a networking opportunity, and a mindset switch. That's literally all I posted. And my network grew even more because of that one post. People follow people who are real, who do real everyday things, and who have an idea of where they're going.
• No one will want to follow me. Stop saying that! This one ties in closely to myth #2. People think they're too boring for anyone to catch their eye. At least, I thought I was too boring. Long story short? That doesn't matter. Never did. As long as you have a clean profile picture, a sense of purpose, and something to say, people will resonate with that. Look, there's seven billion people in the world; I promise, there are thousands---no, millions--of people out there who think just like you. Start putting yourself out there, and you will inevitably attract those people into your network overtime.
• I don't have time to network. I took five to ten minutes a day, five days a week for almost nine months. And I was busy. I was dealing with what felt like a never-ending insurance claim, finding myself a new car, applying for jobs, coding practice, and teaching assistance work, every single day. Recap: five minutes. That was it. If you have time to watch a thirty-minute Netflix episode, you. have. time. to. network. Ok, next one.
• Online networking is the wrong way to network. It's definitely the best way to network. It is 100% free, it is efficient, and you don't even have to leave your house. That doesn't mean in-person networking is the wrong way, however. But for many people, it's not always feasible to get into a car several days a week and drive to networking events. I am one of those people. Having said that, it's a good idea not to knock something before you try it. I personally have never tried in-person networking, but I can testify that online networking does work, and always will work for me.
• I'm too scared. This one is the one I hear the most. And, I absolutely understand it. I am an introvert. People scare me. I don't know why. I've met some of the nicest people in the world thanks to networking whom I was extremely nervous to reach out to at first. I think one of the main limiting beliefs we all share as humans is "don't talk to strangers". And in a parenting context, it makes sense; scary creeps are out there that will kidnap children. It follows that we were all discouraged from approaching people we didn't know, or from acknowledging unknown adults who would walk up and just start talking to us. It got to where, as a younger adult, I would freak out and assume that perfectly normal people were trying to talk me up so they could kidnap me. Call me embarrassing, call it ridiculous. Honestly, at the end of the day, it is still a real fear for many people. There is a universal human need for acceptance, and rejection is also a huge fear in stepping out into the pool of talking to new people. But you are going to be ok. I promise. Just step out. You will be so surprised how many "strangers" want to help you, root for you, and get you the information you need.

The one thing I know was that "talking to strangers" was definitely not my thing and I hesitated before reaching out to people on LinkedIn whom I had never even met in person. All the thoughts swirled in my head: What if they hate me? What if they get mad that I messaged them? What if they are fake accounts? What if I network with people who sound like normal people but who are actually trying to hurt me or hack into my machine? Just, all the thoughts. I am here to tell you that 99% of these things will never happen. Yes, shady characters sadly exist on LinkedIn and yes, it pays to be skeptical. I've been approached before with offers of freelance work and we would "split the proceedings". If I hadn't asked so many questions about it and asked advice from a trusted friend, I would be in a horrible spot. But, it wasn't nearly as scary in that moment as I had imagined it. So, don't be scared. Your roof won't cave in if a hacker messages you; just block them.

(I will add that sometimes it's pretty hard to tell if a person is a hacker right off the bat, but, that's a whole separate newsletter article that we can dive into)

So there you have it, seven myths debunked.

If there are any other networking myths you've heard or experienced that I didn't cover, I want to know in the comment section. Don't forget to share this post and tag a friend who needs to read it.