Death : An End / An Escape Or A Celebration

LinkedIn has an awesome tool that uses AI to generate images. I came across this tool, some months back however my lack of exposure made me wary of it. As they say that any change is resisted and thus I too resisted change by avoiding using this tool. I felt as if I am plagiarising or not being true to creative self. This was like hypocrisy as I continued to use images from different sources other than this AI tool for my 'Major Talks'.

' ???? ?? ??? ?? ?? ??? ?????? '- the curiosity got better of me and I used the tool to get an image for one of my Major Talks article. The result was perfect & then there was ease of operation.It felt as if the tool can read my mind. The tool created many powerful images from the input which I gave. I was overjoyed and became a fan in an instant. Thereafter every post of mine used this tool to generate cover images of Major Talks until yesterday. This event demonstrated as to how preconceived notions define one's actions giving rise to fixed beliefs in the process. One such belief breeds fear by the mere mention of it. We call it 'DEATH'.

1. Death : Invoking fear

I have been thinking of writing on 'Death' for a long time but kept it pending as I was skeptical as to how my readers will react.

Will the readers feel that I am getting depressed or sounding negative?

Will the people get worried about me as I am dabbling in this topic?

Why I want to focus on this?

I may lose followers?....

The above mentioned questions and many more on the same lines flooded my mind. Last week, I received news of my close relatives death. Witnessing the whole process was compelling enough reason for me to pen down my thoughts on the subject of death.

As I started to gather my thoughts, I was surprised at what I encountered while I was searching for cover image for my writeup. LinkedIn tool gave me a prompt 'error message'. Upon getting the error, I started trying harder as I have a never give up attitude. However every time I did that, i got an error message. Then I tried the AI tool in Wix(another platform) only to get scary skeleton images which I thought will create fear in anyone's mind. I felt tired trying so hard and thus I stopped to have an inner dialogue . I realised that 'in our society generally , death is considered to be a bad event which invokes feelings of sadness, fear and despondency' to an extent that even AI tools refuse to provide good options in turn of image.

This minor incident felt like an epiphany for me. I realised as to how much fear (as an emotion) is invoked when the word death comes up to the fore. This was very much evident that it is in violation of the designer code for LinkedIn's AI tool. It made me aware of the possible reactions by mere mention of this word in our society. If you utter the word 'death' in normal course of life, then you are bound to experience a deafening silence that will surround you. The people around will suddenly get uncomfortable and they would rebuke you. The word is an enigma in itself. The conversation centred around death will sound like 'it is an end' and will be filled with fear, sadness and grief.

2. Why discussion on Death is avoided

Human beings or we can say that public memory is very short. All is forgotten by all of us very easily. This applies especially to the good things as the bad things take time. Therefore it should not come as a surprise that we all seem to forget the biggest fact of life that is 'If one is born then he/she will die too'. It is an ultimate truth that this will happen to anyone who was born into this world. Even after knowing this fact, we still fear death as if it is an event which solely brings miseries.

At this very moment, I had a flashback of the death of my uncle which had taken place in my family recently. I recollected the behaviours, conversations which I observed during the process of death rituals. The very near & dear ones were all in grief and many were mere present for the sake of ensuring that their presence is noticed so that the tick mark is made. Then everyone was trying to appear sad as if a smile will be persecuted. Some including me wanted to get over with everything and rush back to their own lives. All references or discussions were on past, suddenly the departed person was missed by one and all. It is an irony that very few made an attempt to be in touch when the noble soul was alive.

Death is perceived as an event that is bound to be full of grieving, feeling distraught and helpless. Any other reaction is viewed with suspicion. In today's society especially in India, certain topics are off limits like sex, death etc. If these topics come up then they are swiftly hidden under the carpet especially if children are around. Thus no one prepares one to live and to die as well. In fact in many families when death takes place, seldom information about property documents, will, insurance papers is even known to your own spouse. It may sound preposterous but it is what it is.

3. Myths associated with Death

a) Mentioning it brings misfortune

Before talking about the world, I will bring this myth forward citing my own psyche. I have been thinking of writing about this topic for many moths but had doubts myself. Whether anyone would want to read it, what is the use of writing on such a topic etc. I had to remind myself that I must follow my instincts while expressing my creative abilities and I started writing this piece on 25 Sep.

Initially i faced an impasse while making the cover page. Once I overcame that , I could write few paragraphs on 25 Sept. I was going to continue the article and had kept a target of 26 Sep to finish the same. However in the afternoon, I received news of passing away of another uncle of mine (????? ??). Thereafter me & my spouse rushed to share grief with our loved ones & attend last rites. I had this thought running at the back of my head, "Was my writing this piece or even for the matter thinking about writing on Death has resulted in spate of deaths that I am witnessing in my closed circle".

When the chaos ended, my mind finally entered a calm state & I realised that all my thoughts about this article or this article itself cannot be the reason for causing the 2 X deaths in my family, 1 of my friends father and 1 of my army senior. I rationalised myself that there cannot be any correlation.

Death is simply death and is known by this name & its mention cannot be a bad omen . In my case, I wanted to write about it and the deaths taking place around me acted as a catalyst in me feeling the way I did. There is nothing more to be read into this situation by myself or for anyone else. It is imperative to get objective around this topic to separate myth from reality.

b) Death is all about sadness

Death is not by a rule all about sadness. It is also about getting liberated from the pain that the body faces because of ageing, diseases and other factors. Thus we need to look at death dispassionately as it may have helped the deceased person to move beyond this earthly realm where he/she was in a miserable life.

Sadness will definitely be there for the loved ones who are left behind. They have the feeling at the point when death occurs that everything that bought joy to them has ended today. Time becomes the best healer in such scenarios however one needs to observe closely the chain of events when the final journey or last rites are in progress. One will see some smiles prevailing, some conversations happening on the side that will bring out the humane side and all of that which is not engulfed by sadness. As far as the person who departs is concerned, the religious scriptures vouch that he/she are beyond sadness and in fact full of joy on account of getting reunited with God.

4. Do we need to change our perspective on death

Hindus believe in Lord Shiva who is considered to play the role of 'destroyer'. The God of death-Lord Yama works for him. Lord Shiva himself elaborates the importance of death in his very moving quote which is as follows:-

If something dies, another thing takes birth, and everything between the creation and destruction is your journey of life.

This tells us that for the world to have balance , death is just an end to the means of 'life moving & prospering'. We, Indians are blessed as we have been guided by an awesome treatise that is a celestial counselling of Arjuna by Lord Krishna but in essence it is counselling of the whole of humanity. No points for guessing that I am referring to 'Bhagwat Geeta'. Nowadays, the whole globe is exposed to the message of 'Geeta'. The below mentioned verse is my favourite as it removes all fear that is associated with death.

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This sloka/verse was spoken by Lord Krishna to Arjuna when he expressed sorrow at the prospect of killing people who are his friends, loved ones and relatives.He went to an extent of telling Lord Krishna that he is incapable of killing them even after being reminded of the excesses they had committed towards 'Pandavas'.

This is when Shri Krishna invokes this sloka/verse which means that weapons cannot shred the soul, nor can fire burn it, water cannot wet it, nor can the wind dry it. Lord Krishna claims that there is nothing to fear in this world even death. In fact as per Shri Krishna, the only real element is soul which never dies. It is only the cloth aka body that is changed. The body perishes but soul continues to live.

Reciting this sloka/verse or hearing it infuses your whole body with tremendous energy .It removes all fear whatsoever on account of the notion or reality of death. This has been successfully dealt in 'past life regression studies' as well. Dr Brian Weiss's work in this regard stands apart. Though science may deny it but many life after death/rebirth cases famously witnessed in India and abroad make past life regression's existence a serious affair.

So whatever we believe in as a faith , we will all agree on one thing which is that all religions remind its followers that 'Death is inevitable'. They go on to advocate that death is not an occasion to be sad as soul will hereafter rest in peace or go to heaven or come back to life in a new body etc. The more we dip into these beliefs & philosophies, the more peace prevails in our lives.

5. If death is a celebration then how do we manage the loss

Losing your loved one is indeed a painful event. The pain is excruciating especially for the ones who are have been really close to the deceased person. Despite whatever has been written above, it is highly unlikely that anyone (barring a a minuscule % of people) would not be heartbroken or shaken due to death in the family.

The idea of this write up is in no way to encourage people to behave in a stoic manner once they encounter death of a loved one but it is to remind all of us that their loved one has merely lost his/her body while the real essence i.e the soul continues to be there.

It is definitely not easy to face the loss once it occurs. The loss is perceived to be more grave when someone young, healthy dies. Everyone around this person feels more sad and says 'This was not the age to go'. In case this person is married and has small kids. The people i.e the spouse, kids get hounded by the questions internally(within them) 'as to what will happen to them hereinafter' or 'how will I live without my partner' or 'he/she managed everything and I do not know now as what I will do'. You must have noticed that in all of these statements, it is always about the person who is alive and is not about the person who has departed this earth.

So the reality is that 'life goes on' and 'time is the best healer'. God has its strange ways but all is well in the end. However understanding all of this is not enough but experiencing it can be the only solace that one can hope for. The grieving processes followed in every religion also comes in handy as they all are designed in such a manner that it allows the near & dear ones to empty themselves of all the grief so much so that they are eventually left with the complete understanding that 'the one who had to go from this world has already gone and it is only them who need to move on in order to survive'.

Again dipping into the wisdom of 'Geeta' there is a brilliant way that can help one overcome the pain & worry on account of death. That is to practice detachment in attachment. All worries in this life are due to one's attachment to physical and material objects. Once we can stay detached despite performing our duties in this world, nothing can rattle us. However this needs tremendous spiritual awakening & practice . We all know this but understanding is not enough-'Doing Is'.

6 Embrace Death

The high, the mighty, the powerful, the rich, the poor , the king, the pauper, ME & YOU -all alike will die one day. The day one is born is the day, this prophecy becomes true that one day he/she will die. Thus it is good idea to embrace it and better celebrate it.

The second death which I witnessed in the course of writing this piece inspired me as the person leaving this earth was 'Professor Arvind Gigoo'. He had during his lifetime created a set of instructions to tell his son as to what to do in advent of his death. The following stood out in his instructions:-

• Do not keep my body in mortuary, cremate it. You need not wait for anyone. (It could not be done as hospital formalities took time)
• Immerse my ashes in closest water body.(Family did it in a pond which was in a Gurudwara).
• No rituals except what Arya Samaj allows ot be performed. (All ladies of the family were at the cremation ground)
• Donate food(ration) items to charity (he defined which one).

This was an inspiration to me as here in his lifetime, he had been fearless in his attitude towards death and he embraced it in a zest by telling his son during his last moments.

Prof Arvind Gigoo-"Time has come, may be 5 days. I do not fear death. You know what to do'.

Celebrating Arvind uncle and everyone especially warriors , Indian Defence Forces personnel who defied all odds , embracing death to stay alive in our hearts.

For these stalwarts, I salute and say '??? ????? ????????'?? Leaving all my readers with my hands folded in all humility , sharing what Rumi said

"Every mortal will taste death but only some will taste life".......Rumi

To all my readers- I pray that we all taste life.

Cheers to being alive always!!!

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