On Death and Dying

From the time I could speak, I remember asking my mom why I was born; where I was before I was born; and what I was born to do. I remember trying to ask her many times the meaning and purpose of life – without ever getting any answers that satisfied me. I didn’t know I was asking existential questions.

Through the ups and downs of life, and my traumatic relationships, I’ve had to repeatedly go back to asking myself: “Who am I? What do I want to stand for? What do I really want to do with my life?”

For the past 10 years, I’ve been running my own coaching/ counseling practice focused on supporting individuals/ couples with their personal relationships and sexuality. I believe my calling is to “help people”.

I just happen to focus on sexuality because I view it as a last-frontier of being a fully realised person (we fear what we don’t know, and there is so much inhibition/ fear around sex and sexuality because we just don’t know better).

Ever since I embarked on this helping career and felt “fully realised”, I haven’t been afraid of death and dying. I can honestly say that I can die at any moment without regrets. I don’t feel a need (not a “must”) to be bigger/ better/ faster/ stronger/ more successful in my practice – I already AM doing what I wanted to do, and have been for a long time. Sure, I could do more and I will help MORE people but I already HAVE BEEN doing. A question of MORE is not the same as IS.

I am happy, relaxed, increasingly more expressive, creative and playful as a person. If I could, I would give up a few years of my life for those who wished to live longer – I truly would. I don’t feel I would be deprived of anything.

There are people who are afraid of death and dying. They are afraid of the unknown. They are afraid of what they will miss here. They are afraid of leaving their dependents. There are people I know who love life here on earth so much they want to stay as long as they can.

What do you need to do to:

1. Live more fully?
2. Feel accomplished/ fully realised?
3. Love people more?
4. Be unafraid of death and dying?
5. Die without regrets?

Is there anything I can do to support you in living your optimal life? Would you like support to live your life more fully? Do check out my services here www.eroscoaching.com/services.

#foodforthought #deathanddying

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.