Death As A Dinner Guest

This month's article is a rearrangement of thoughts that originated in the Longevity Assistant Insights blog, a repository for more musings on mortality.

In some ways, death is very much a necessary part of life. Our cells expire and dissolve to give way to new growth. We pluck carrots out of the ground to consume with our salad. Even our old thoughts fade or fall away as we learn new things.

How we think about death has an influence on how we live.

• YOLO (you only live once) mentalities may motivate a hedonistic life of excess
• A belief in the afterlife may incite actions that align with moral virtues
• The memento mori philosophy encourages an urgency of action

Let's dig deeper - possibly six-feet(too dark?) - and consider some alternative perspectives on death. Along the way, we will also consider how such a philosophy shapes the way we live.

A Point of Transition to a New State of Being

The many religions of the world, both modern and ancient, have some belief in an afterlife. While there is often a dark side, I want to focus on the happier possibilities.?

Let's entertain the thought that some new state of existence awaits us beyond this life, and transcends our corporeal existence. While rooted in religion, there are fictional representations of notable beauty:

• J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings sends Bilbo Baggins sailing off to the undying lands.?
• George Lucas gives us a glowing Yoda and others from the Star Wars series as they become helpful ghosts.
• Wisdom from J. M. Barrie's Peter Pan, and later echoed by J.K. Rowling's Dumbledore in Harry Potter, suggests that death would be an awfully big adventure.?

Through all of it, the idea is that death is not the end.

Even if you believe that we just become worm food when it is all said and done, there is could still some sort of energy transformation. You become part of the natural cycle, and maybe it could be as beautiful as the leaves in autumn.

The song "Come Home" by Cloud Cult captures this idea:

I gave my bones back to the trees/so when you hear the breeze, you/ you know I’ll never leave you

I gave my skin back to to the prairie./So in the coldest thunder showers./You will see me in the flowers.

I gave my heart back to the galaxies/So when you look above you./You know I’ll always love you

With this view of death, mortality can almost be something to look forward to. Or at least it can give us peace that those who have passed are in "a better place.".

Viewing life as a "gift" may motivate us to be good caretakers of it. We may be more inclined to eat better or stay active.

The prospect of eternal consequences may also motivate care for one another, or it could also motivate zealousness and extremism. (More discussion in Holy Longevity Batman!).

Reincarnation/karma is an extension of the concept of a new state of existence and has a similar motivating morality.

The End of the Road. Lights Out. Game Over.

But what happens if we don't have a life after this one? Or what if the reset button is broken? What if this life is all we get?

One approach may be to live a life of indulgence and pursue as many things as possible, with minimal regard for consequences. Dr. Chris Rabane, a neurologist and addiction specialist, presents a good depiction of this lifestyle in his longevity-oriented collection of short stories, The Saturnian Tales. One of the main characters decides that life is all downhill after age 27, and forms a club of like-minded individuals seeking to squeeze all the juice out of life in a short amount of time.

Yet, hedonistic tendencies aren't the only way to go. On the positive side, living without concern for the future may give you the courage to try things you otherwise wouldn't. What would you do if you knew this was your last week on earth?

Alternatively, we could try to figure out another way to extend our legacy. Maybe part of our fear of death is really a fear of being forgotten, of being insignificant.

Part of the allure of the traditions of Dia De Los Muertos, is the idea that our ancestors live on as long as we remember them.

How do we leave our mark on this world? In this "powerful play" as the poet Whitman put it, "you may contribute a verse."

• We can immortalize ourselves through story, song, or art.
• Doing something legendary, get in the news (in a positive way, preferably).
• Set up endowments or donate money to a school or church.? ??
• Or maybe we'll even be able to create a mind clone.

The sentiment that death is the end is core to the memento mori concept. This idea can be seen in art, appears in various faith traditions, and is found in stoic philosophy. As the Daily Stoic puts it:

Used properly, memento mori is a tool to create priority and meaning, one that generations have used to create real perspective and urgency. To treat our time as a gift and not waste it on the trivial and vain. Death doesn’t make life pointless but rather purposeful. And fortunately, we don't have to nearly die to tap into this. A simple reminder can bring us closer to living the life we want.

A tangential viewpoint that could fit within either the "nothing after" or "something after" revolves around how we turn out the lights.

A Glamorous Death

The Vikings are notorious for embracing death with open arms. Their ticket to paradise was to go out with a bang, preferably in battle, to be carried to Valhalla by the Valkyries. Similar attitudes are adopted by some jihadist factions and the kamikaze and Samurai traditions of Japan.

Journalist Hunter S. Thompson wrote at one point:

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

Sadly, Thompson literally went out with a bang. A couple of them actually. He would commit suicide, by gunshot, plagued by depression and health problems. His ashes were shot out of a cannon at his funeral, accompanied by red, white and blue fireworks.?(source)?

If you could choose how you go out, what would that look like?

Would you be over a hundred years old driving a super expensive car and launching it off a cliff Thelma and Louise Style?

Or more subtly, could you imagine being at home, surrounded by the ones you love, and starting to tell a joke, but taking your last breath just before delivering the punchline?

While we may not have total control over the script of our lives, we do have the ability to lower the chances of certain unpleasant deaths (like lung cancer). Entertaining positive imaginings of your future funeral is a way to dull the reaper's blade a little. In fact, why not go a little further?

Defying and Discrediting Death

One way to conquer fears is to make fun of them. Humor may even be a hardwired defense mechanism for some of us. (source) In a variety of psychological studies, the role of humor can be preventative, at a minimum, and potentially, therapeutic.

• As an example of having fun with the character of Death on an actuarial blog, consider?Death attempts Stand Up Comedy
• Death has a solid IMBD resume, having made appearances in shows like The Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park.

• And you can't omit the classic scene from Monty Python's Meaning of Life when Death is invited as a Dinner Guest.

Final (but not THAT Final) Thoughts

In conclusion, hopefully, death has lost a little harshness due to this tour of perspective.??The good news is that for many of us in the modern world, death is not something we see every day. That is a wonderful world to live in.

However, the less you encounter something, the more unfamiliar it becomes. We become afraid. In our current times, we are battling monsters like COVID and CLIMATE, and death seems to be wreaking havoc among us in a Godzilla-esque fashion.

But maybe we can be less afraid and more appreciative. To recap:

1. Belief in "something after" can relieve stress and motivate altruistic attitudes.
2. Belief in "nothing after" could enable boldness and courage, and motivate altruism for different reasons.
3. Contemplating death at some point or even making fun of it helps to reduce its sting and shock.

How do you view death - as something magical and mysterious, something random, something epic, or just a really bad joke? How does your perspective influence your lifestyle? Comments welcome!

BONUS:

Longevity Assistant is curating a playlist of songs about living forever or facing death and would welcome any suggestions.

Longevity Assistant Long Life Playlist