Death by 1000 Debits

In the continuing journey of living a debt-free lifestyle, a recent conversation with a new client sent me to my 2021 archives as a reminder of the importance of knowing your why, and how that can help you avoid Death by 1000 Debits.

Yesterday I ran some overdue errands. Since I work from home for myself, getting out of the house can be a real treat. Even something as mundane as a trip to the grocery store is fun. My errands included stops at Bed Bath and Beyond, Sam’s Club, Staples, and Walmart. Sadly, I had no reason to wander into Hobby Lobby.

As a financial coach, I teach my clients a key element of becoming successful with their money is understanding the importance of not only creating a monthly budget, but the importance of sticking to the monthly budget. Dave Ramsey likes to talk about the 80/20 rule. Your ability to succeed with money is 80% behavior, only 20% is head knowledge.

That said, one of the most impactful things I teach my clients is to know their why. Why do you want to be debt free? Why is this goal important to you? When you know your why, you get more intentional with your money. The temptation to swipe a credit card begins to fade away. You find an inner strength to say ‘no’ to purchases that are not in line with your budget or your goals. A slow, steady seed of thoughtful resilience is planted and grows within you.

Simon Sinek has some great things to say about knowing your ‘why.' If you’ve never read his book, “Find Your Why” I’d encourage you to pick up a copy, after of course, you put it in your budget.

I personally became debt free on everything but the mortgage back in January 2013. Somewhere in the archives of the Dave Ramsey Show is my debt free scream. Turns out that scream was a little early as I subsequently came to realize I did not fully understand debt free means the mortgage too. But that scream was loud and it was proud! My husband was debt free around the same time when we married a month earlier in December 2012. It took a few more years to become 100% debt free for us, but that all happened back in October of 2018.

In the course of a recent conversation with a potential new client (whom I subsequently declined to coach) we spoke about the ability to say no to some purchases and yes to others. Where did he feel he was at with that in this point in his life (age 47)? Did his purchases line-up with his goals? What are his goals? Why are these goals important? ?

I pointed out in many ways, it is almost always easier to say no to the big ticket items in a monthly budget. Big ticket such as dropping $3500 on the trip to Italy or buying that $8000 smoker (I do live in Texas after all). What we do instead however, is kill our budget by the $5 foo-foo coffee habit, $25 for two at the drive through hamburger joint of our choice, ($50 if your kids are with you), or that darling pair of must-have shoes on sale for only $55, normally $245. My potential client said it more succinctly, “death by a 1000 cuts.” Exactly. I think of it as “death by a 1000 debits.” Debit card swipes. Or worse, credit card swipes.

And so yesterday, I too, was ready to debit away. Even now, after years of discipline it was just ‘that easy.’ Nickel and diming our budget to death. And I probably could have justified the purchases to my husband because, sweet guy that he is, he trusts me. I’m not a spendthrift. I rarely buy for myself. He has to encourage me. His trust is well placed however, and that means the world to me.

The purchases that almost did me in? Nothing earth shattering. Pennies on the dollar. No airplanes tickets to Italy from Scott’s Cheap Flights, and I haven’t even begun my research on a smoker. No, much more simple. Much more everyday life kind of stuff that many of us face. Stuff our budget could easily absorb, or so we tell ourselves.

Next to Staples is a favorite discount store of mine, Marshalls. I’m a candle lover and Marshalls sells the candles I love, “dw home” candles, some of the best I’ve ever come across.

I was ready to walk in, peruse, and buy. I was already justifying up to about $12 worth. In the pie of life it's $12. Are you kidding me? And then I stopped and said to myself, "What are doing? You have candles at home. You don’t need these. You want them."

NO. And walked away.

Next stop, Walmart. I only needed batteries. But on the way to the batteries I pass by the woman’s clothing section. I never shop at Walmart for clothes. Except a couple years back I stumbled across their Time and Tru scoop neck cami’s for $1.68 each. $1.68!! I went crazy that day and bought 10 different colors in both medium and small when I discovered them. Heaven.

Yesterday, I saw Time and Tru tanks in neon bright colors. Hot pick, sunshine yellow, robin egg blue, safety orange, fire engine red, you name it, they had it. It was glorious and they were only $3.96 each (hello inflation). I said to my inner self with delight, “these would be perfect for the gym! I need several.” I started to pick out my colors and hold them up. “Medium or small? Medium for the gym. I need them a little loose. Oh man, these will look great.” Then I stopped. "What the ?? What am I doing? I don’t need these. I want them."

NO. And walked away. ?

Last stop, Bed Bath and Beyond. I’d been out for over an hour now and Chick-fil-A was calling to me as I drove by on my way to Bed Bath and Beyond. It was afterall close enough to lunch time at 11:00am, so I could justify a purchase since I’d been up before 6:00am.

What stopped me was a moment of being intentional with my behavior. "Stop it. What is wrong with you? Your house is less than 1 mile away with a frig full of food. Haven’t you been saying to yourself as one of your new habits, ‘I want to be healthy?’"

NO to Chick-fil-A. I drove on past. ?

If you haven’t read James Clear’s book, “Atomic Habits” pick up a copy after of course, you put it in your monthly budget.

Twenty seconds later the siren song of Starbucks floated across my vision. I’ve got $8 already loaded on my Starbucks gold card right now. Some would argue the money is already spent. And they would be correct. I've changed my behavior with Starbucks over the years and now rarely buy locally. I save my Starbucks dollars for long road trips, airports (unless Peet’s Coffee & Tea is available), or if I want to buy a little treat for a friend or client spur-of-the- moment gift. I became a card carrying gold-card member well over 10 years ago, and was buying their tea every night at the Ben White and I-35 junction in South Austin during my time with the IRS.

That nightly habit got so bad all I had to do was go through the drive-up lane and say, “hey, it’s Kristine.” They responded, “We’ll have your tea ready. 3 raw sugars on the side with a short cup of cream, right?”? Some habits really do die a death by a 1000 debits.

It crossed my mind to buy my usual, a venti English Breakfast tea, currently selling at just over $3 with tax. Imagine that, two measly teabags in a 20 oz cup of hot water for $3. This is insane. I caught myself. I have plenty of tea at home. And home is just now under 1.5 miles away. Soon enough I’ll be there. And if I really want to splurge, I’ll make myself a second latte. Home brew is the best from my Bialetti Moka pot, with a little frothed whole milk and sugar-free vanilla.

NO to tea. I drove on past.

$35 I saved – big deal!! But those death by a 1000 debits add up quick. Let’s say I did that once a week @ $35 x 4 = $140/month. $140 x 12 = $1680/year.? ?

Fortunately, I know my why. If you don’t know your why or haven’t found one yet, I encourage you to do so. And if you need some help, I will help you find your why too.

My husband and I are saving to redo our back deck. ?My engineering son is designing it. It will cost several thousand dollars and we cash flow everything.

We love spending time on our back deck. I’m from the Pacific Northwest and well, of course I grew up outdoors. My husband grew up farming cotton in west Texas, back when irrigation pipe was moved by hand twice a day. We have a lovely big back yard with shade trees. Our 5 chickens roam free giving us beautiful organic eggs every single day. We grill our steaks, turn on the deck lights and throw back a couple of cold beers. Before the heat of Texas begins to make itself known, we sit outside on our back deck early in the morning, drinking our morning brew, French-press for him, sugar-free vanilla latte for me.

We read our Bibles. We listen to birdsong. We see the sun rise through the trees in the neighborhood. On some occasions we get to see the morning mist float up through the shafts of sunlight. This is ours. We OWN this, outright. No debt here. On target and on budget. $35 pocketed towards our new deck.

This is my why. No more death by a 1000 debits.