Dear Trauma - By Lorie Hood, PhD

Dear Trauma,

You and I need to have a conversation.

You have been in my life for so long that I now feel as if you have become a constant companion. You are so ever-present that you obscure everything and everyone else in my life; even those I love the most.

When I leave a scene, you follow me; even when I have done my job well. You are quiet while I am working and busy. You silently slip to the background and I think I have “dealt” with you. But then I am in my bunk or home in bed with my spouse, you are there, in full force and you occupy every bit of me.

So, I have a few questions and I want answers.

Why are you here? Did I invite you? Did you just show up unannounced? Are you my friend or enemy? Do you come from outside of me or have I created you? What is your purpose? Can you help me or are you only here to make sure that I suffer?

I don’t talk about you much because what is there to say? I, my fellow firefighters, law enforcement officers, EMS workers, and Emergency Dispatchers all know you and we all think you will never go away.

So, we do the best we can. We try to ignore you or compartmentalize you, but we know you are always there

So, give me some answers. We all got into this profession because we wanted to help others and be of service. We have trained and sacrificed time with our families and loved ones and this is what we get?

Dear First Responder,

I am here for a reason. I am not here to haunt you, but I can’t go away until you recognize me for what I am.

I begin as your mind and body used your instincts, training, concern for your partners and teams to keep you all alive. I stay with you as a survival mechanism so that when the horrific scene or incident you experienced repeats itself, your instincts will kick in even faster and more efficiently.

I am here to protect you during your work but afterword, will only accumulate until you understand how to process me and let me go.

I am not your enemy

I am your way through.

Sincerely,

Trauma