DEAR SIX-ONE NEWSREADER,
I am given to understand by the Minister that the roster has designated you to read out the next "Pandemic update" suitably attired in plain traditional Irish clothing (none of this fancy French Christian Dior and Coco Channel stuff!). The Minister is very concerned that recent News reports have sounded not like properly researched professional journalism, but the meanderings of overpaid hacks high on the fumes of Red China Mandarin Corona Cigars so liberally supplied by the brutal murderers and assassins of the People's Liberation Army. The Minister has warned against any interference with the proper dissemination and broadcasting of news by the Baby-eating Tiger off Mumbai and his assorted jackals, side-kicks and other Nazi abortionists!
The Minister has therefore directed under the powers conferred upon him under the Constitution of Ireland, the Eighth Amendment to the constitution, the Offences against the Persons Act, 1861 and the Broadcasting Acts that you should read out to the Irish Nation and to the World (to the City and to the world) the contents of the reports which you will find attached (below).
Your reading, delivered with superior articulation, should take place and occur immediately after the Angelus (not "the People's Angelus) the traditional prayer of devotion which Saint Bernadette and all Christians recite at noon and every evening to honour Archangel Gabriel's Annunciation to the Blessed Virgin Mary that she had been chosen by Almighty God, the Father Omnipotent, to be the Blessed ever Virgin Mother of baby Jesus, Son of the Living God, Messiah, Lord, Saviour, Redeemer, Risen Divine Eternal Judge and King of Kings.
The Minister has read the reports in question himself and is satisfied as to their authenticity as they were delivered to him in person by the Archangel Gabriel (not Ryan) after a recent Late Show and are authenticated by, and delivered under, the official seal of Raidio Teilifis Eireann (RTE), the Cross of Saint Brigid, Saint Mary of the Irish, which you will often have woven as a little girl at school yourself.
The Minister is confident, dear newsreader, that you will fulfil your task and deliver and discharge yourself of your challenging mission with the same incomparable intelligence, brilliance and aplomb as you saw off, dispatched and destroyed Black-and Tan Charles!
I remain, dear friend, on behalf of the Minister,
Maurice James, Secretary-General
International Relations Consultant
4 年The Chinese Mandarins and the People's Liberation Army say that George Floyd had to die "for the good of the people"; just as they themselves killed and trampled upon thousands outside Beijing!
International Relations Consultant
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International Relations Consultant
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International Relations Consultant
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International Relations Consultant
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