Dear Parents: Your Kids Lack Soft Skills. Here’s what to do about it.

Let's have a less-than-comfortable conversation.

Your kid just graduated from that expensive university with a shiny new degree in [insert their favorite technical field here].

They've got certifications coming out of their AirPods, they can code in their sleep, and they've already built three apps that you don't fully understand but are very proud of anyway.

And yet... they can't land a job.

Or worse, they landed a good starter job and lost it within months. Something about not making an impact...

If you're nodding your head right now, grab a coffee (or something stronger; there’s a nice coffee liquor from Hawaii that I recommend), because we need to talk about what's really going on here.

Hint: You already know this stuff. But someone out there needs to hear it; maybe that someone is you.        

The Harsh Reality Check

According to a report from the General Assembly, 88% of your mid-level executive colleagues think your kids are inadequately prepared for the workforce. I don't mean your kids specifically; I mean today's entry-level workers (which, chances are high, are your kids.)

Take a second on that.

These aren't grumpy boomers yabbering on about "kids these days,” “back in my day,” or “get off my lawn"—these are successful career people just like you; these are the people who actually make hiring decisions.

"But my kid has a 4.0 GPA"

Congrats, really. Be proud. You had a big hand in making that happen. Now, can they look someone in the eye during a conversation?

"They know five programming languages"

Double bonus points. Can they explain their ideas to someone who doesn't?

"They're brilliant with the Apps and the AI"

We’re racking up the points here. Great. How are they at dealing with giving feedback, or, gasp, receiving feedback?

I’m guessing you can see where I'm going with this, yah?

The Missing Pieces

Here's what employers are actually saying about our kids. (This is the stuff you already know)

1. They Can't Communicate

• Struggle with basic email etiquette
• Can't give clear verbal updates in meetings
• Avoid face-to-face conversations like they're still in a pandemic

2. They Can't Collaborate

• Difficulty working in teams
• Struggle with constructive criticism
• Poor conflict resolution skills

3. They Lack Adaptability

• Siloed or rigid thinking
• Difficulty handling unexpected changes
• Limited problem-solving abilities outside their technical expertise

It's Not (Entirely) Their Fault

Remember when Covid hit, and everyone went virtual? Those were the college years where previous generations learned workplace soft skills through internships, part-time jobs, and face-to-face interactions.

Covid kids spent those years in their bedrooms, staring at Zoom screens.

I even defended my doctoral dissertation via Zoom during Covid. I was robbed of the mortifying experience of standing in front of people to defend my work. Instead, I had 3 monitors, a Bluetooth headset, a comfy chair in an empty room, and 50 Zoom squares of muted friendly faces.?

There’s Good News: We Can Fix It

Here's what you can do right now. This also goes for parents out there with younger kids.

1. Embrace the Awkward

• Make them order their own food at restaurants
• Have them call to make their own appointments
• Let them handle conflicts with siblings or friends (but guide them through it)

2. Create Communication Opportunities

• Family dinner with no phones
• Make them explain their homework to you
• Have them teach you something technical (bonus: you might actually learn something)

3. Build Resilience

• Let them fail (this one's tough, I know)
• Don't solve their problems; rather, guide them to solutions
• Encourage them to take calculated risks

4. Foster Emotional Intelligence

• Discuss emotions openly
• Practice active listening
• Role-play difficult conversations

5. Develop Professional Awareness

• Help them understand office politics (every school has politics; work with them on it)
• Teach email and message etiquette
• Practice interview scenarios

For Parents of Job Seekers

If your kid is already in the job market, here's something to try:

1. Mock Interviews

• Record them (it's uncomfortable, but there’s so much to learn from them)
• Focus on behavioral questions
• Practice "Tell me about yourself" questions until they can do it in their sleep

2. Communication Boot Camp

• Have them write emails and review them together
• Practice phone conversations
• Work on body language and eye contact (record them)

3. Real-World Project Experience

• Encourage volunteer work
• Help them find internships
• Support side projects that involve teamwork

The Stakes Are High

According to that same General Assembly report, nearly one in four executives wouldn't even consider hiring today's entry-level workers. That's not just a stat—that's your kid's future we're talking about.

A Personal Note

I'm not writing this from an ivory tower. I'm a parent too. At the time of this writing, my boys are 7 and 8. And like you, I'm watching this workforce transformation happen in real-time.

This particular topic is near and dear to my own heart. So much so, I wrote a book on it.

We can't change the fact that AI is reshaping the world, school, and the workplace. Lately, technical skills have become table stakes—everybody’s got'em—they’re no longer differentiators.

But we can prepare our kids for what really matters: the human skills that no AI can replicate (yet).?

OK... so...

Technical skills might get your kid an interview. That snazzyAI-powered resume sure looks and sounds great. But those soft skills—that body language, that confidence, charisma, dedication, passion, and drive—that's what will get them the job and help them keep it. In a world where ChatGPT can write code and NotebookLM can create podcasts, being able to work well with humans isn't just a nice-to-have anymore. It's the key to success.

So, this weekend, at the restaurant, have them order for themselves. Bonus points if they order for you.?

P.S. If you're reading this and thinking, "My kid is only 5, this doesn't apply to me," think twice about that. Now's the perfect time.

In fact, my book not only empowers you to guide your 5-year-old (yes, starting at 5), but it has text written at the 5- and 6-year-old reading level so they can read a few passages of text for themselves.?

Hastags for the bots

#ParentingTips #CareerDevelopment #SoftSkills #WorkforceReadiness #FutureOfWork

Sources:

Pearson Study (September 2024)

https://info.credly.com/hubfs/info.Credly%20PDF%20resources/Guides%20Whitepapers%20Infographics/White%20Papers/Top%2010%20In-demand%20AI%20Skills%20For%202024%20&%20Beyond_Sep2024.pdf?

General Assembly Report (2024)

https://generalassemb.ly/blog/are-todays-entry-level-employees-ready-for-the-job-survey-says-not-quite/?

Harris Poll for Fortune (January 2024)

https://fortune.com/2024/01/23/gen-z-lacks-soft-skills-unrealistic-workplace-expectations/