Dear Nna: A Father’s Open Letter To His Son On His First Birthday

I commenced this tradition when our daughter turned one. I made a decision to carry on with the tradition with our son and write an open letter to him.

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I am saying to myself:?Was it not just yesterday?

It was just yesterday that your mom and I were?feeling very happy?to breathe in that newborn-baby's sweet scent from you. It was like taking in the fresh salt-rich ocean air by the coast.

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It?was just yesterday that your big sister sat in amazement with a padded cushion placed carefully on her lap.??“Yippee yippee yay. Let me carry you, my cute baby bwudder (brother)”, she said brightly.

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She relishes the task of pulling out the wipes or tissues from the box for you - eager to know if her contributions to care for you make a difference. It makes sense to say that it gives her a thrilling boost of pride that she's become 'old-enough' to help out her family.?It can be an emotionally rough road for her sometimes that a part of her wants to be a baby too and another part wants to be the pretty understanding and ‘independent’ big sister.

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It was just yesterday that an invisible adversary called COVID-19 was going around the globe. It's a frightening bug that may make people sick and has cost many people their lives (you can look it up on Google whenever it becomes appropriate for you to have access to the internet).

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I'll admit that the terrain of the pandemic was not smooth. We had to find direction across and over those uncharted waters through science, positivity and an abundance of grace.

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As we mark your first birthday today, I cannot help thinking about the journey that steered us to you. The prayers, hopes and dreams. Maybe, the anxiety and anticipations. I would not have wanted it any other way so as not to dilute the uniqueness of our path.?

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You began to chew on your fingers, Adin-Adin (I gave you that nickname and your sister's own is Aboom-Aboom). We'd thought that was the onset of teething and gave you teething rings to chew on safely to ease discomfort. I would peek at your mouth and use clean fingers to gently massage your gums. Your mom would sometimes try to poke your gum to see if there is an eruption of teeth. Fever would occur at the same time ( but researchers?have?determined that there is no scientific evidence to support the link between fever and teething). We noticed that you started to drool more than usual with saliva flowing outside of your mouth like a dripping faucet (it also signals part of early language development and that your salivary gland is working). You sometimes have fun with the spit and find ways to amuse yourself by blowing bubbles and making 'raspberries'.

Ta-da...the?two?bottom front teeth appeared on the tenth month.?Your mom was overjoyed. She would go on to suggest the long-forgotten culture of giving you homemade chicken drumstick from a broth to usher in more teeth and to celebrate this win ( I'm laughing out loud).?“I want to believe?you?actually want chicken for dinner…,” I teased her while making a beeline for the refrigerator.?It will interest you to know that?this cultural event requires me to personally butcher or directly order the butchering of a live chicken for this purpose. I neither have a flock of chickens in my backyard nor have any friendship with a chicken farmer. Mmm...we had nothing to lose for going for a fresh chicken, as opposed to the frozen version that has become commonplace. The rest is history.

The two upper central incisors have since appeared. And two more teeth are seen to be erupting as you get ready to cut your first birthday cake in a few moments from now.?

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You learned to pull yourself up to stand.?You're?never afraid to take little?steps?forward to see what else is out there. We will continue to provide you with space in a safe and fun environment to?move and explore every nook and cranny of our beautiful world.

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I've found music to be one of the go-to resources to help soothe you when you're a little fussy.?I admire the little way you get your groove on by dancing every time we play Baby Shark (doo doo doo doo doo doo) for you or when Nini begins singing it to you. You even add more glow to your sparkle when we play the Cuppycake song.?You'll start bouncing on your knees, nodding your head, smiling?and raising your arms up in the air. You've also come to like both the Bubble Guppies cartoon series as well as Bubble Guppies theme song (Bub-bub-bubble, gup-gup-guppies). I think it's so entertaining to you and also tends to nurture you on happy friendship and humour.?

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Your mom?and I take delight in seeing you and Nini sharing LEGO bricks to freely make your awesome creations out of your imaginations. Your sister comes up with an interesting city, castle, farm, hospital, train, boat, and (because she talks to us?a lot?about an archipelago?that she was taught in preschool), she sometimes creates it. You'll act as a one-person demolition squad at one point (or the other ) and take them down. I would be her ally, saying to her: “I know you’re feeling upset. Take a deep breath with me. Breathe in…and…out. Just keep your cool”.??

Then, on the other hand, I would be your advocate and further say to her: “He brought them down because he only wants you to?build better ones,?alright”.??

There is nothing better than watching your face light up like a Christmas tree whenever?your sister walks into the room. Witnessing you two form this strong bond is one of the most rewarding things for us to see as parents. With your generation, our nations can be given a new look and the planet will be better for it.

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I want you to know that my parenting ability is a work-in-progress, especially?for us coming from Generation X and raising Generation Alpha kids - digital natives like you and your sibling who were born into technology rather than introduced to it, hence you intuitively know how to use these tools to prepare you for the digital opportunities of the future. I'm not going to fade into stereotyping here, instead I'm only trying hard to bridge the generation gap with communication, compromise (where necessary), and I believe that unconditional love has a way of crossing boundaries. Your generation is predicted to surpass their predecessors (Generation Z,?Millennials, Generation X and Baby Boomers) in terms of technology skills?(but we need to know how to manage the risks and make sure that our little ones are viewing child-friendly contents)?because they will never know a world without the internet of things.?Artificial Intelligence will most likely dominate the reality of your generation. Apple's Siri, Google's Assistant, Amazon's Alexa, Microsoft's Cortana, Samsung's Bixby and other virtual assistant technology may become integral to your everyday routine.?

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Parenting is not about really knowing all of the answers all of the time. It doesn’t obfuscate the fact that?parents?are?bona fide experts in their own rights when it comes to their own children. But fortunately, i recognise that i have so many things to learn: How does a dad put up a good show to be technologically savvy, improvise a bedtime story at the shortest possible notice, conjure temporary deafness, have an emergency?protocol?to replace a broken toy,?pitch in with burping you or brewing a glass of beverage for your kindergartner-sister in the middle of the night( it makes for a happier wife and mommy),?change a diaper with the delicate precision of a sushi chef, put the toilet lid down ( I'd add this one to know if you're paying attention), know when to take a temperature with a thermometer and have your mom to determine if the situation deserves a call to the doctor. I am hoping that, maybe, if I can stay on top of all of these and more, you’ll be able to tell people that you have a great daddy.

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As you grow, there are a few things I want you to?have (amongst others)?in your playbook.?I have the feeling that in the years to come; this will serve as a beacon of inspiration, both in the very good and the not-so-good times.

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Be Courageous?

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There will be times in your life when you’d face the choice of hiding or running away or burying your head in the sand like the ostrich. Always hold the bull by the horn and confront whatever challenge you may find in your way. Courage is not the province or domain of a few people. It is not just the extraordinary acts that get you named?Time’s Person of the Year or awarded a Nobel Prize but the ability to step up to solve problems and seize opportunities in life.

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Do the Right Thing?

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Doing the right thing is often going to take a great deal of courage. Doing the right thing may not be fashionable but it helps to build your character and it is profitable in the long run.

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Count Your Blessings

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I?am not really referring to one of my most-liked gospel hymns by?Johnson Oatman Jr., 1856–1922 (Count your blessings;?Name them one by one.?Count your blessings;?See what God hath done).?But always remember to be grateful for the loving grace of God.

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Show Love

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Spread love to everyone around you.?Let someone else have that last slice of mouth-watering?cake. Mow your neighbour's lawn when they're out of town?(try making that turf look like the 18th green at Augusta National Golf Course).??Take your loved ones out for dinner. Be?it fine dining or a restaurant offering traditional cuisines of Nigeria?or Japanese Teppanyaki?or French bistro?or even the?Lebanese or Middle Eastern restaurant.?Take them to a place they will love. It does not matter if?they’ll be having garlic breath?and sweat, twenty-four hours after eating the stuff (not minding its assertiveness, it?adds flavour to meals and can provide health benefits).

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Keep Your Promises?

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It is important to keep your word and fulfil your promises when you make them. Do what you say you will do. It will stand you apart from the crowd.?

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Be Confident?

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You can accomplish anything you put your mind on, so long as you do not doubt yourself. Be humble; know that you are not the center of the universe. Be confident; know that you bring value to the universe.?

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Learn At Every Opportunity?

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Be inquisitive -?It is a gift to be able to seize every opportunity to learn new things and develop yourself.?

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Be Yourself?

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Being yourself is a valuable asset you can give to humanity. Find the courage to be defined by your values. Be Nnamdi Machimso Emeana. See yourself as being sufficient.?

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Travel The world

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Get around the world to learn about interesting cultures, people and?places. It broadens your horizons and helps you to disconnect to recharge and reset - relieving stress and anxiety.?

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You Don't Need A Fancy Title To Be A Leader

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Everyone has influence - everyone is therefore a leader. For some, the scope of influence is small, for others it is significant. As a person, you can never not influence.?

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Do not also expect to lead effectively just because someone or an organisation handed you a title or authority. Lay down the title (at least in your mind), take responsibility and?if your action inspires others to dream more and do more, you're indeed a leader. You have earned the title and can keep it.

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Faith, hope and love...these are my wishes for you.?I wish you faith and to have abiding trust in God and His promises. I?wish you hope and to have confident expectations. But most of all, I wish you love. The beauty of these words is that they settle like a comforting blanket over the complexity of our day-to-day lives.

“Three things will last forever:?faith, hope,?and love?-?and?the greatest of these is?love".?– 1 Corinthians 13:13?

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Love always,

Happy First Birthday,?

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Daddy