Dear Mom "Niam"

I want to let you know that I'm doing well, you've always worried so much about me even through my adulthood and it's all thanks to the path you helped me carve in life. I faced some of the toughest challenges, ones that most people wouldn't even fathom. As the youngest son in our family, now approaching 50, I can't help but acknowledge the incredible job you did.

I've expressed my gratitude to you countless times, thanking you for steadfastly supporting me during moments when I found myself on my knees with tears in my eyes. It wasn't by choice but by understanding the immense sacrifices you made. As the youngest, I witnessed firsthand the sacrifices you willingly made for us, for me.

During my childhood, you would always give me the best piece, even when I knew you desired it as well. You would set aside a few dollars when you probably wanted to spend it on yourself. You provided us with everything you had and I recognize the financial challenges we faced, Mom. I don't hold you accountable for our financial situation. Rather, I appreciate the extraordinary efforts you put forth. I miss you deeply, and I cherish the memories of the incredible mother you were.

Rest easy mom, I love you and miss you dearly.

Life wasn't easy.

As I continue to write down these words in my late 40s, tears stream down my face. Reflecting on my upbringing, we may have been financially strapped, yet one thing remains crystal clear "we were extremely happy". The scarcity we faced at times wasn't a matter of life or death but rather centered around personal desires.

In my youth, I yearned for those Jordan shoes, an abundance of stylish clothes, a room to call my own, a gaming systems, boom boxes, travel to exotic destinations and the thrill of attending concerts. None of those materialized during my childhood and I'm profoundly grateful to my mother for not handing them to me so easily.

Now, in my current stage of life, I find myself able to do just about anything. I have the freedom to traverse the globe at my whim. Rooms in my home remain untouched, filled with space no one occupies. My closet full of clothes that often go unworn and I possess multiple pairs of brand-new Jordan shoes that I've chosen to just give away.

Work hard and perseverance

Mom, I want to express my gratitude for instilling in me a strong work ethic. Even when I found myself a bit short, you would discreetly slip a few bills into my hand. I often resisted, feeling guilty about accepting, but your insistence prevailed.

In my early teens at 14, nearly 35 years ago, I worked at McDonald's, an experience that seems almost surreal now. I would do the morning shifts and wake up at 5 a.m., but one thing I remember, my mother loved hotcakes and I would bring it home every opportunity I could. After high school, I plunged into the world of full-time college and full-time work in San Jose, California. Despite the steep $900 monthly rent for a single room (a significant sum compared to other places renting one-bedroom spaces for $250-300), I endured two years of "massive" hardship :). I faced workplace bullying from seasoned colleagues who undermined me due to my youth and slow learning curve. It's disheartening that some individuals in this field tend to belittle rather than mentor, and interestingly, I've observed a few of them currently "unemployed" on LinkedIn.

This challenging period motivated me to make a personal commitment. I vowed never to treat others that way. Instead, I pledged to mentor younger generations, helping them overcome technical challenges and guiding them to resources when answers weren't readily available. In the days when the internet was still maturing, we had to rely on hardcover books, and I want to ensure that the next generation has the support and guidance they need to succeed.

Thank you

Mom, I'm deeply grateful for your tireless efforts and unwavering perseverance. You navigated through life with a bunch of knotty kids, enduring challenges with grace. Your sacrifices for us resonates and I will carry that gratitude with me always.

Rest easy, Mom. Our paths will cross again when my time comes. Until then, may you find serenity and eternal peace.

Jer Moua - January 10th, 1940 - July 1st, 2023