Dear Fearless Girl...Use your voice [The final chapter]

I remember the first time someone called me 'fearless.' Not only did it sound odd, the word danced in my head like a little sugar-plum fairy--appealing, yet unfamiliar, all at the same time. Little did I know that the word fearless would one day be the inspiration for speeches, the approach I'd take to my career as well as how I would try to live my life.

It was nearly a decade ago during a girls trip to Florida with three of my best friends from high school. The four of us refer to ourselves as "The BFF's" and have been close since I transferred to their high school in the eleventh grade. During dinner, on the last night of our vacation, we went around the table answering the question, "How would we describe each other to our friends outside of this group?" Deirdre spoke up and said, "You are our fearless executive friend," as the two others nodded in agreement. Unbelievable. How could the women who had known me since I was sixteen, seen me spazz-out over exams, heart breaks, and every vulnerable moment since we met over thirty years ago, possibly refer to me as fearless? "That's easy" Deirdre responded, "because even when you're afraid, or get knocked down, you don't let it stop you. You get back up, and keep going, even when it would be easier to quit." For me, that was a complete, and utter, AH-HA moment.

Leaders whom we perceive as fearless are all fundamentally guided by passion. A passion which fuels them to the degree that they CAN NOT, not do the thing that drives their passion. No matter how high the mountain, you are willing to climb over it. No matter how impenetrable the barrier, you are willing to break through it--as a response to some unrelenting internal drive. If you give room to it, you will find that the passion inside of you, will prove more victorious than any opposing force. So what is it for YOU? What are you THAT passionate about? What is the thing that consumes your thoughts? The thing that you go to bed considering and wake up wondering about? Perhaps you have tried negotiating with your destiny by putting it off because you don't feel ready, or worthy, or that you don't have enough money, or enough talent, or enough time...and so on, and so on, and so on.

The BFF discussion from dinner stayed with me as I tried to figure out when I became a 'fearless girl' because I certainly did not feel so fearless. I am nearly certain that the seed of fearlessness was planted by my parents through the greatest gift that they ever gave me. They gave me my 'voice.' From the ages of five until twelve, my family had the same Friday night ritual--we would have dinner, do some event or activity like a movie, play a board game or go to the fair, etc. and afterwards, gather in the little den of our small house on Bethwood Drive to talk. We called it "Family Forum." In family forum everyone had to share something that they liked as well as one thing that they wanted to change about our family. Here, even at five years old, I was able to suggest new vegetable options and plead my case for a later bed time. Regardless of how child-like the perspective, my parents listened and made me feel like my opinions were just as valid and worthy of consideration as their adult input (yes, they participated too).

Imagine if every little girl grew up believing that she had a right to be heard. Then imagine her life twenty or thirty years later in a work environment--she would refuse to be overlooked, ignored or minimized. Isn't that what we would hope for our daughters? As a matter of fact, isn't that what we want for ourselves?

Owning your voice means owning your power. One of my favorite experiences of all time was seeing the stage play Hamilton with the original cast on Broadway. "The Room Where it Happens" was amongst my favorite scenes and songs. While I realize that not everyone desires to ascend to the pinnacle seat of corporate power, I do hope that regardless of your rank in the organization, that you still want your voice to be heard, to do work that matters and to feel valued. A great way to impact change in the world, is to be in the room and at the table where it happens. When you arrive, dear friend, by all means, do not shut the door behind you. Instead, pull out a chair and invite others to join you!

Author's note: LinkedIn family, thank you for the support, affirming comments and reposts of the various pages of this four-part blog series. My primary hope and intention is that you will be a little more fearless as a result. Blessings.