DEAR FEAR

Hello Reader,

“If there was one word, that you could choose as YOUR WORD, for the rest of the year…what would it be?”

This is the same question I asked myself and a couple of our members from the well-being community I lead.

There were multiple words that came up ranging from self-care, positivity, resilience, focus, joy, discipline, faith etc. The one word that I chose for myself is “COURAGE”. I have resolved to make it my go-to place when I need to make a decision, push myself or even just be.

I am choosing this because it is the word most closely tied to fear. Fear and courage have even been called brothers in a famous proverb. We all know the paralysing effect fear can have on us. It can stop us dead in our tracks!! If there was no fear, there would be no need of courage. Very similar to the word ‘day’ having no relevance if there was no night.

Fear is like our shadow, it really never completely leaves us. We can’t see it most of the time but sometimes when the external environment changes, it can show up, distinctively and closely clinging to us. The role of fear is quite clear, it’s there to keep us safe. It’s primordial in nature and relevant to keep us alive. Without fear a lot of us would not see the number of years we do. So, let’s keep fear and not get rid of it.

Let’s invite courage on our journey. I want to put fear in the backseat and put courage upfront. I want to see courage more, sitting right next to me. Fear can do a bit of backseat driving, but I want courage and me to make the final decisions. We will decide where we want to go, how we want to get there, the speed of travel and what music should play. Fear can shout when we are about to fall off the cliff, but not before. On the other hand, it can do its thing whenever it wants to, but courage and I decide what we listen to and what we ignore.

We refuse to listen if fear tells us:

“What will people think/say/perceive”? (If our intention is right, we go ahead)

“What if you fail/get rejected” (If we get to learn, we won’t stop)

“You’ll be the odd one out” (Yes !! Odd is different, but it also means that there is something unique and that is not bad)

“You won’t be liked anymore” (Would I like myself If I were not true to who I truly am?)

“There could be loss of…..” (I need to weigh between that and the loss of my dream/goal/aspiration/desire/drive/cause and then decide)

“It’s not perfect” (Perfection is hallucination and not natural. We are aiming for excellence and mastery that comes from attention, focus and not giving up)

Dear fear,

We know you mean well and would love you to play the supporting role. Courage and I are taking centerstage and you can most certainly prompt when you see us stumbling. Our request is don’t come on stage and certainly do not take over the show. We need vulnerability and humility more than you in this act and hence have invited them to join. Vulnerability is going to play the part of allowing change to happen and help us measure courage. Humility will guide us when we trip and fall or fail. The duration of this show is unpredictable and if the curtain goes down before we have done our thing, it would be a shame. So please, dear fear don’t you come too near.

“We can choose courage, or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time”- Brene Brown

Sanah Singh Tomar (27/02/2020 -22)

 The author is a certified coach, who partners with people in their personal and professional growth. Do reach out for your free consultation.