Dear Diary, Life Feels Electric.

Life right now feels electric. I’m getting married in 15 days. I had to count that twice just to be sure. My to-do list for the wedding is 4 pages long. Some really exciting things are happening at ACP, and I am so motivated by the challenge of complex, big-picture brainstorming. My to-do list for work is 2 pages, 4 digital files, and 7 sticky-notes long. Everywhere I turn really cool, positive things are happening. Life looks so much different now than it did at the start of the year.

I’ve been thinking a bit about what got me here. I’ve told you before that I originally pursued communication studies because I felt unable to order at a drive-through, let alone advocate for what I want and need in a workplace. It was a skill I really wanted and needed to hone. I could change my major later when I got what I wanted out of those classes, right? I ended up loving the theoretical foundation I was building and how what I was learning allowed me to work more seamlessly with individuals from such diversified backgrounds. Since being freshly 18 and deciding that was the direction of my life, I’ve also done quite a bit of soul searching. I am a completely different person than I was then, 5 years ago, last year. I feel like I’m constantly evolving and learning new things about myself, especially who I am as a leader. Within this journey, evolution, or quest—whatever you’d like to call it—I learned a lot of really hard, invaluable lessons on how to work with others both personally and professionally. I’ve had to learn how to have really hard conversations, when to be firm, when to let someone take the reins, and when to offer support.

When I was first promoted to my role, I had already digested all of this organizational and leadership theory and almost every book by Brené Brown. I felt so ready for what was next. Imagine my surprise when I was offered this promotion, and I was immediately enveloped in shame. How could I get this promotion when I clearly don’t know what I’m doing? I am clearly not the top performer on this team. I am clearly just not ready. My boss must have eaten something this morning that is clouding her judgment.

I was assured by everyone I spoke to that no one is ever really ready for what happens next. You’ll never know what it’s like until you’re in it. With trembling hands, I excitedly accepted the role. I took a back seat as much as possible in the transition, absorbing everything I could in how to be a leader, learning what my new responsibilities are, and what people expected of me. Ever so slowly, I started taking on more and more leadership tasks. It’s been two months and I finally feel like I have my footing—not that I don’t go to my leader every day when something new happens. I am starting to feel confident in the decisions I make and the direction I pull my team.

I think the hardest part of being a good leader is all of the soft skills required. Now, I have a pretty good head start because of my background, but boy does it not feel good to give critical feedback or set firm boundaries. If you are a young professional, I highly, highly recommend you start building your soft skills now. You’ll have to really critically think about who you are, your emotional and social norms, and whether those are norms you want to maintain. There’s no status quo. I will constantly work with and lead new people with differing ideas, and I am tasked with creating that safe space for all of those voices to be heard. It’s so breathtaking and electrifying.

I think more than anything if you’re not ready to really intimately get to know yourself—the good, the bad, and the ugly, you’re not ready for leadership. I’m not the top-performing recruiter. I am not a marketing subject matter expert. But, I’m starting to see that true leadership is way more than that. I mean, Brené said it on paper, but when you're in it, it feels so different. Truly being a great leader is requiring so much more emotional and social growth than I ever really imagined.

I am really, really excited to see where 2024 takes us—as ACP and for my soon-to-be matrimony. I am scared, excited, invested, and strapped in for the roller coaster of growth to come. I know with the wonderful mentors of all titles I have here and at home, it will be the best year I have seen. Can you feel the energy? ?