Dear Dad,
Photo by Nila Maria on Unsplash

Dear Dad,

It's been 8 months since you've been gone, but it seems like a lifetime. I've been dreaming about you a lot lately, reminiscing, and staring at your obituary more and more. While the weight of you not being here isn't as heavy as before, your absence is still ever-present. A lot has changed since you've been gone, but a lot has remained the same as well. I think about the moments you're missing. The moments you would have wanted to be a part of like graduations, proms, marriages, and much more. I hope I'm making you proud. I'm doing my best to keep your memory and legacy alive. Doing my best to be the woman you raised full of compassion, love, and drive.

I wanted to tell you how I've been getting along with this life of mine. How it's still quite surreal. I wanted to tell you some days are softer than others. Some days pass on without me feeling the weight and anguish of your absence. On other days, my heart breaks all over again. Those days I feel raw and vulnerable. The heartbreak sometimes feels insurmountable, happening slowly and then all at once.

I wanted to tell you how I've been getting along without you. How grief still has me in a chokehold. But I also wanted to tell you that I love you deeply and unconditionally. I wanted to tell you that you will always be my first love...


~Gabriel

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