Dear College Parent,
Diane Darling, CGSP
Providing customized programs about networking and communication skills | Professional Speaker | Published author with McGraw-Hill | Global Traveler | INFP | Connecting people in a disconnected world
Tis the season .... the boxes are packed, gifts exchanged, tears shed. And it's only August.
I always thought I'd have children but the universe had other plans for me. For the past 15+ years I've been teaching at universities, alumni associations, and grew up as a child of a professor. So I'm familiar with the academic world.
However this last week I witnessed first-hand a new ritual ... taking a kid to college. The 15+hour drive (each way) was just a small part of the experience. My car was filled to the brim including a newly purchased speaker that was the size of 6-year-old. Unintentionally eavesdropping on FaceTime, "what's up?" was curious at first. Less so after 2 hours.
Here are some insights, observations, and suggestions for college parents:
- CELEBRATE! You've done an amazing job so far! You have and will always have a relationship like no other in their life.
- It's scary! I'm sure images of a toddler or prom date flashed through your mind as they walked ahead of you up the stairs to their dorm. Nervous is normal.
- Create a team. Embrace others who care about your kid. They don't want to be the parent, but they do care. In many cases, they will echo the wisdom you've shared. (When I'm coaching students VERY often they say, "I can't wait to tell my mom/dad that. You said the same thing they did!")
- Mistakes will happen. It's unlikely they didn't fall a few times during childhood, the same is going to happen in college (and later in life). This is a
time for them to learn critical thinking (I find this in SHORT supply). - TL;DR. This stands for "too long; didn't read." Be in touch, make it brief, and to the point.
- Most likely, you survived college. This is crucial time they get to make friends and begin to build long lasting relationships. That includes deciding who is worthy of their time. Locking your kid in a vault isn't a solution. Hopefully you've acted as a role model as well as taught them some common sense. And if they're at a "party school" all the more reason to embrace the team of folks who care.
- CELEBRATE! Yes, I said it before and I'll say it again. Take some time for yourself to adjust to a new era in your life. Find others who are in similar situations. Catch up on reading, hobbies, or learn a new skill.
Readers ... what are your suggestions, comments, or thoughts. PLEASE share below!
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Diane Darling is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur. McGraw-Hill published her books, The Networking Survival Guide and Networking for Career Success, now in 7 languages.
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Co-Owner of AVT Productions
9 年Love your post, Diane! My youngest of 3 is entering his Sr. year this year, and it has been a journey these past almost 8 years of being a parent of college students! I can remember like yesterday when our oldest left for college! It was surely an adjustment for the whole family. It wasn't always easy, but I agree, it's important to take time for yourself and have the confidence that you have given your kids the foundation and this is what the past 18 years has been about - preparing them to spread their wings! Now the fun begins of a whole new stage of parenting!
? Career Coach ? Build & change careers; Land jobs ? LinkedIn Trainer ? Build profiles; Add visibility / sales
9 年Diane, Great post and so relevant. As friend to many parents taking their children to college in freshman year, I went out looking for a card for this "occasion" but one doesn't exist! Your post will make the perfect alternative, thanks.
President at PME Enterprises LLC
9 年Diane, this was such a wonderful post. As we all put on our "back to school" heads in America, your tips can apply to all of us beginning our efforts anew, whether in college, junior high, or on the job. It's a new year! Celebrate, accept the scary, create a team, remember the iceberg!, and enjoy the journey of the lives we're forging! Thank you for reminding us!...Nan
Owner of EnVision Performance Solutions, award-winning custom learning solutions creator for business and not-for-profit orgs. Motivational Speaker & Author of "Shattered Stars, Healing Hearts," an award-winning memoir.
9 年Great post, Diane! I am entering my 8th and final year as the parent of a college student. (Don't worry...2 kids, 4 years each, hopefully.) It's a growth experience for both of us. For me it's a lot about letting go as they each enter their own adulthood and work on solving their own entering-adulthood-level problems. I agree, mistakes are so critical to learning, and it is so hard as a parent to not try to fix it! But that's part of our job...letting go, letting them work on fixing it for themselves, and being there for back-up support as each individual college-age child may need.
Corp. AR, Author, Speaker, and Designer
9 年Wonderful article Diane.