Dear Class of 2021: Welcome to the School of Life

Dear Class of 2021,

As you stand at the threshold of a new and exciting chapter in your life, you’ll be hearing a lot of advice over the coming weeks from all corners of your universe. 

The commencement speech parade is also starting to roll into motion, offering an endless stream of sage insights from men and women who have accomplished much.

While my university and grad school days are long past, I like to use this time of year to reflect on what I’ve learned since I was standing in your shoes. It’s a process that forces me to think about the choices I made back then, and the decisions I’ve made along the way, that have shaped the course of my career and my life. 

With this in mind, I thought I’d share some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I wish a caring mentor had pulled me aside 30 years ago and shared these lessons with me then. Imagine the head start I would have had on life, and the chance to avoid so many mistakes. 

Since that’s not possible for me, I thought I’d reach out and offer a few bits of advice that you can consider (or ignore, if you choose) as you embark on the next leg of your journey:

Always be learning.

Congratulations on your hard-earned diploma! I know how many years of hard work and dedication went into securing that beautifully inscribed document.  

While you should be rightly proud, you should look at this piece as your passport to your future. Like a passport, imagine it contains a stack of empty pages waiting to be filled with visas and entry stamps. Your goal should be to continuously fill up those pages with content that deepens your understanding of topics that interest you, introduces you to new ideas, and challenges your modes of thinking.

Never stop reading. While the temptations to endlessly scroll on your phone and consume bits and pieces of content, make sure you devote some time each day to reading something about a topic that interests you. Shut off Netflix (or whatever streaming service you subscribe to), and open up your Kindle app on your phone, or crack open a good old-fashioned paperback. Binge listen to podcasts you love. Listen to audio books while washing the dishes or commuting to work. Watch videos of great thinkers and teachers you admire.

Don’t just read, watch, or listen: Start writing! Writing is an excellent way to learn. It surfaces what you don’t know, helps you discover the topics that you’re passionate about, and exercises that part of the brain that generates creative insights. You can start a blog and share what you know with the world. Or just keep it all to yourself: write a couple sheets of “morning pages”, that exercise made popular by Julia Cameron, first thing in the morning. Think of it as your morning mind-cleanser and daily picker-upper (besides your daily cup of caffeine).

As my Rabbi, a survivor of the Holocaust who is now in his 103rd year of life, once said: 

To know that you don’t know is the beginning of wisdom. There’s nothing wrong with saying ‘I don’t know.’ The most wonderful thing in the world is to say, ‘Tell me, I don’t know, I want to learn.’

Photo: Screenshot from a video interview with Rabbi E.F. Einhorn, conducted in 2010.

Language can be our most powerful tool for doing good — or our most harmful weapon. Use it wisely.

Language, whether it’s spoken or written, is one of the most powerful tools gifted to humanity. It’s the tool we use to communicate with others, to learn about the world around us, to understand ourselves. It can be a powerful instrument for building and repairing relationships. 

There’s a flip-side to this enormous power, though. As we all know, language can be used to inflict harm and pain on others, so learn how to wield its power to comfort others, and to do positive things that help others grow and achieve their goals.

The market for truth always clears.

One of the biggest ironies of the information age is how, despite the deluge of data available instantly at our fingertips, sorting through it all and knowing what is truth and what is fact, versus what isn’t, has become harder than ever. 

Several years ago, one of my favorite bosses pulled me aside during a situation I was having difficulty tackling at the time. As a trained economist, he naturally opted to use an economist’s lingo to share some advice he thought would be helpful to me. He said, "Glenn, the market for truth always clears." By this he meant simply, truth will always prevail, regardless of how long it takes, or the obstacles you must overcome to reach it.

What this means in practical terms is this: Be honest, don't lie or cheat, hold yourself to the utmost standards of integrity. For many employers, integrity matters as much if not more than abilities when screening candidates. Most would rather hire the 'B' student who has impeccable integrity, over the 'A' student who has questionable ethical standards.

You are way more than your job title.

Some of you have already landed your first job out of school, while some of you are still looking. Focus on building a career that allows you to leverage your talents, that provides a source of financial sustenance, and, perhaps, becomes a source of professional gratification. But beware of tying your personal identity too tightly to your job title or the company you work for. You are not the sum total of the words on your business card or LinkedIn profile. You are much, much more than that. Work hard, and cherish whatever opportunities are afforded you to do meaningful work and earn a living, but don’t equate your job with who you are.

Invest time in the people who matter most to you.

The people who care about you are what matters more than anything else. While my balance has sometimes been unhealthily skewed towards work, I have chalked up a few wins during my life that I can point to as examples of how I did things right. Like shifting from a more intensive career track to a less intensive and stressful one many years ago that allowed me to spend a lot more time raising my son and daughter, who have been growing up way too fast.

Photo: Me with my family in 2006. My kids are a lot taller now.

You never really know when it’s “your time.”

Last year, the day before Thanksgiving, I suddenly experienced severe abdominal pain. I checked myself into the ER where I was tested, monitored, given medication, and released after an overnight stay. Lying in bed at home the next day, however, my pain only worsened. I mustered whatever energy I had at the moment to call an ambulance which rushed me back to the hospital, where I underwent a 5-hour operation that saved my life. 

This was the first time I came this close to death, an experience I’ll never forget. Since then, I’ve looked hard at my priorities and how I take care of myself. My lesson here is this: Prioritize your health now and always. Your diet, how much sleep you get, exercise, stress management, these are all things you should learn about and prioritize. 

Photo: Me and my wife in the hospital, November 2020.

Be grateful.

Trust me, the irony of the fact that my near-death experience occurred on Thanksgiving day isn’t lost on me at all. Someone, somewhere, was sending me a not-so-subtle message about the importance of being grateful for what I have, like a loving family, a good job, and so much more.

Nurture your mental health.

The pandemic has only exacerbated what was already in train for many years: a growing mental health crisis. Talk therapy is an excellent way to help you sort through your problems with the support of a trained professional. Like so many other services, therapy has moved online in recent years, so it’s easier than ever to find someone to talk to, and at a time that works for you. The stigma around mental health issues and seeking help to address them continues to linger, unfortunately. Never feel ashamed to admit you are dealing with a problem, and never, ever feel embarrassed about reaching out for professional help. 

Cultivate your spiritual life.

While striving for success is good, and can lead to a productive and happy life, there’s so much more to you and your life than doing and accumulating. There’s so much to explore within yourself, and in the world, that is not about making money or trying to achieve or trying to collect accolades. The life we have been given is truly a miracle and is infinitely precious. The world, imperfect as it may be, is a continuous source of beauty of wonder. 

Slow down, press the pause button, and look inward for those inexhaustible sources of inspiration and energy that reside within each of us. You might choose to pursue your spiritual journey within the framework of an established religion. Or, you may want to cultivate your spiritual life without institutions and frameworks that the major religions offer. Regardless of where you find your source of spiritual wisdom and energy, become more aware of this aspect of your life, and delve into it more deeply. You'll be well rewarded in ways that won't show up on your bank statement.

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Okay, so you’re done with school — for now, at least. Yay! You’ve jumped the hurdles: kindergarten and elementary, middle and high school, and for some of you, college and even graduate school. 

Good luck on the next leg of your journey, and a very warm welcome as you enter your next “school”: the “School of Life”!

Did any of these lessons resonate with you? Tell me what you think in the comments. Or send me a private message if you prefer to keep it off-line (send me a connection request first please).