Dear 2020: A Letter of Farewell

Let me start by saying I don’t how many times I went back and forth in my mind on whether I was even going to write you. It’s harsh, but it’s true. You have to know you’ve been unlike any year I and millions of others have ever experienced. Your name is now synonymous with ‘unprecedented’ and ‘pandemic’ and ‘social unrest’.  You will be forever associated with the spread of a pandemic that killed millions, government-enforced house arrest for the innocent, one of the most chaotic US Presidential elections in the nation’s history, continued unnecessary and brutal violence towards those who have been systemically oppressed for centuries in the United States, and the concept of ‘social distancing’ transformed to ‘physical distancing’ as humans embraced more than ever before the criticality of connection in times of devastation and despair.   Through it all, on a more personal level, you’ve inspired nearly every emotion possible:

Frustration from being forced back into square one of my entrepreneurial pursuits; lost not knowing what to do next.

Envy of those who were seemingly unimpacted by the economic disruption; those who maintained steady paychecks and paid benefits through it all.

Anger at the number of times I was asked as a black woman CEO and speaker to share my energy, insights, and perspective for well below my value.

Joy from an unexpected connection in the wake of a Global pandemic.

Fear that my brother, a black man, or my sister, a black woman, would be shot and killed in the streets with no justification by those who claim protection and security for all.

Sorrow for all the lives lost, all the struggle experienced, and all the restless nights experienced by those I hold most dear.

Gratitude for waking up to live and grow through another day.

And in spite of it all, including you being the biggest shit show experienced in recent history, I see you. I see the teacher in you. I see through the pain there were lessons you were attempting to impart. Lessons that we can and must DO BETTER. We must do better at treating one another with compassion, even those with differing views and perspectives from our own. We must do better at understanding our clients and customers through relationship-building and integrity. We must do better at treating this planet with the compassion and respect she deserves. We must do better at acknowledging and addressing the systemic barriers standing in the way of the liberation of each and every soul on the planet. We must do better at making our voice heard, embracing that no matter where we lay, sit, or stand we are IN power.

These are lessons that if learned and acted upon, can help fuel our growth and betterment for many generations to come.

My letters to your brothers and sisters who have come before you have been steeped in gratitude for the many experiences they gifted.  For example, I expressed gratitude to 2019 for welcoming me into my entrepreneurial pursuits full-time and to 2014 for my sobriety.

Well, in my letter to you, 2020, I would like to share the four toughest lessons (some new, some strongly reinforced) you’ve imparted that I’ve managed to find gratitude within simply by accepting them:

Lesson One: It’s not enough to just know your worth. You must know it, communicate it, and act accordingly. Those actions must be grounded in trust that the right opportunities will rarely challenge you to deeply question your worth. Get crystal clear on the unique value you bring to the table. Get crystal clear on how that value can’t be easily attained from anywhere else. Know it. Then once you know it, communicate it succinctly, and act accordingly.

“For too long black women have just been like ‘well, at least I have a seat at the table.’ I don’t want a seat at anybody else’s table so they can tell me when to get the f*ck up when they’re tired of me. I want my own banqueting hall.” -Kelechi Okafor

Lesson Two: No matter how grim the darkness of circumstance, Light persists through the power of choice. Choice is perhaps the most powerful tool in the arsenal of humanity. Even if bound by chains, including those we don’t physically see, choice is how the ownership of the experience of circumstance remains within us. With each choice and the intention fueling it, it’s important that patience follows. Often the change required to bring the Light takes many persistent choices and time.

Lesson Three: Deeply ingrained systems of oppression are real and must not be denied. Systems cannot persist without compliance, whether that compliance be blind or not. Remove the blinders by expanding your knowledge base. Then make persistent and conscious effort to either transform from the inside out or remove and replace according to the community, society, world, or paradise in which you wish to thrive.

“Transformation is integration. If it’s not integrated then you haven’t been sustainably transformed.” – Sonya Renee Taylor

Lesson Four: Sometimes it’s better to get about the business of allowing as opposed to the business of doing. This year has brought a flurry of activity throughout every corner of the world. Industries collapsed and were born anew. Innovation moved seemingly at the speed of light. Businesses had to pivot in daring ways to remain relevant with their customer and client base. I personally made major pivots in my business (strategy, structure, and execution). But the pitfall in the activity flurry is letting the doing take priority over the allowing of the results. Do. Of course. But don’t forget to then allow the space and time for what’s possible because of that do to take root and flourish.

2020, I thank you. I thank you for the many lessons you have brought. I thank you for the resilience strengthened. And I thank you for leaving to make way for your cousin (hopefully distant, at least 3 times removed): 2021.