Dealing With Your Emotions

Don't let your emotions distract you from doing what needs to be done. Control your emotions or your emotions will control you.

Human beings are emotional beings! That does not give us the right to allow our emotions to lead us on a daily basis. Emotional intelligence is one of the leading topics today. But what is it? How can one cultivate emotional intelligence in this busy environment where things change and evolve each second? Under so much pressure, deadlines to meet, networks to create, how can one keep up with what is happening today emotionally? Emotions are powerful and without control over them, we lose our ability to deal with others, spend our resources and how we run our day. It is either you run your day or you allow your emotions to do that for you. Many people today operate on their emotions on a daily basis.

Defined by Mind Tool, "Emotional intelligence or EI is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they're feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people."

"Emotions are powerful. Your mood determines how you interact with people, how much money you spend, how you deal with challenges, and how you spend your time." - Inc.

Emotional intelligence is widely recognized as a valuable skill that helps improve communication, management, problem-solving, and relationships within the workplace. It is also a skill that researchers believe can be improved with training and practice. Every individual can make a personal commitment to cultivate emotional intelligence in their lives. You are always a decision away from managing and controlling your emotions and the emotions of others.

Companies that are hiring want to make sure they choose job candidates who will mesh well with existing teams. As a result, about 20 percent of organizations are now testing for emotional intelligence as part of their hiring processes. Even the smartest person needs good people skills to succeed these days. A high IQ alone is no longer enough. Working with others means that you are going to deal with other people's emotions therefore emotional intelligence is a must in today's job markets. It is becoming one of the leading skills that organisations are looking for today.

Here are some of the insights to look into as you deal with your emotions and the the emotions of other people in your daily basis:

Reflect On Issues, Do not just React!

Reflecting gives you the power to make insightful, thoughtful and intellectual decisions. Reacting takes away your power. Take a step back, you do not need to respond now! You do not have to speak your mind now! Take a step back, reflect on what has been done, said and pitched. Detach your emotions from the issue. Identify the emotions that rise inside of you before you could share your mind. Emotions are like kids, they need your attention, pay attention to them! After you identify the emotion, do not attach your respond to the emotion. Reflection gives you that power to be able to speak your mind or respond without allowing your emotions to destroy what you have to share.

Amazing employees are able to resist themselves from being a part of the problem by be able to reflect on how they feel and letting it go and choosing a rational manner of dealing with a conflict at hand. Presented with a challenge and through heated emotions, they are able to draw back, take a breath, get back to their rational sense and ask themselves these questions:

What emotions am I feeling right now? How can I respond to this situation without allowing my emotions to cloud or get on my way? Can I reply to this now or I should choose to reply later on? 

Re-frame Your Thoughts

Your emotions affect the way you perceive events. If you're feeling anxious and you get an email from the boss that says she wants to see you right away, you might assume you're going to get fired. If however, you're feeling happy when you get that same email, your first thought might be that you're going to be promoted or congratulated on a job well done.

Train yourself to constantly refocus and use your energy to focus on creating better ideas, solutions and come up with a plan to deal with what is at hand. Consciously focus your time and energy on what you can do well and build the momentum to carry on with your day. Do not just react. It is a tough to make because when things happen sometimes it is not easy to engage your rational mind. You just want to say whatever you want because of how you feel. But feelings come and go but words do not. So get involved in emotional intelligence training courses and learn from those who can control their emotions better. If you are always reactive, you give away your power and you constantly play catch up. This may lead to stress and anxiety. From now on onwards, do not just react but reflect. That is what amazing employees do.

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Mompoloki Makwana is an author, speaker, leadership coach and consultant who helps organizations to thrive through coaching & empowering employees, executives and managers. He helped organizations and businesses to transform their workplace culture, team dynamics and other critical aspects of leadership and what they do. He has worked with private companies, schools, hospitals, colleges and government agencies on creating a high performance culture, team dynamics, strengths assessment and team building activities. He is the author of the books: The Birth of Greatness and Embrace Your Greatness. He has founded three businesses; Teach to Impact, Prime Coaching and Prime Publishers.

He runs a leadership program under Prime Coaching called M’Powered Circle Leadership Academy that helps individuals on their personal, business and career journey. His online platform, Career Corner offers high level career coaching sessions to executives from different organizations and businesses.

Access his services today: Email: [email protected] Cell: +26774776196