Dealing with Righteous Bullies at work

As Fat Adam’s 'Cocktails and Ice Creams' are an Associate member of Anti-Bullying Alliance , I thought I might write an article about a serious side of bullying that is often ignored or found to be difficult to deal with. I started Fat Adam's because I was bullied at school and periodically I write about bullying as I created Fat Adam's to raise awareness and support of the work the ABA do to reduce bullying in all forms.

We make lovely cocktails Fat Adam's Cocktails and serve great gelato Fat Adam's Ice Cream with our partner Fabio's Gelato , however, I am passionate about why we do this and the reason why is to STOP bullies.

Today I am talking about a specific type of workplace bullying: The Self-Righteous Bully. ?

Self-righteous bullying is aggressive/ passive aggressive/ harmful behaviour by a bully that claims to be ‘nice/ kind/ ethical/ morally correct’.

They will be highly judgemental, while claiming this moral or ethical high ground. These individuals may use their perceived inflated sense of superiority to belittle, criticize, or marginalize others, often under the guise of enforcing their own sense of righteousness or moral values. These are the type of people characterised by the nickname ‘Karen’. Dealing with self-righteous bullying can be challenging, but here are some strategies to address it.

Remain Calm and Composed:

Bullies, especially The Righteous Bully, works with emotion and not with logic. Responding emotionally can escalate the situation. Stay calm and composed when dealing with self-righteous bullies. Use logic, repeatedly.

Set Boundaries:

Clearly communicate boundaries and express that disrespectful behaviour is not acceptable.

Assertive Communication:

Use assertive communication to express your thoughts and feelings without being aggressive. Clearly state your perspective.

Focus on Facts and Logic:

Respond with facts and logical arguments, challenging any inaccuracies or unfair characterizations. The Righteous Bully is a master of twisting facts, deny obvious truths and doing so in such an insidious manner that any attempt to challenge their ‘truth’ is taken as perpetrating a crime. To handle their apparent ignorance, calmly repeat your position, however, disengage when you feel exasperation setting in. Remember, this is what they want.

Avoid Personal Attacks:

Refrain from personal attacks or retaliatory behaviour. Stay focused on the issue at hand. As mentioned, once you enter into personal attacks, you risk The Righteous Bully weaponizing it.

Seek Support:

Reach out to friends, colleagues, or superiors for support and advice on how to handle the situation.

Document Incidents:

Keep a record of instances of self-righteous bullying, including dates, times, and specific behaviours. This documentation will be useful if further action is needed.

Escalate the Issue:

If the bullying persists, escalate the issue to higher authorities within the organization, such as supervisors, HR, or management. Ensure you can document all of it.

Educate Others:

Foster awareness about self-righteous bullying and its negative impact on the workplace. Encourage a culture of respect and understanding.

Promote a Positive Workplace Culture:

Create a positive workplace culture that values transparency and open-minded dialogue.

Conflict Resolution:

If appropriate, engage in conflict resolution strategies to address the underlying issues and find common ground. Using assertive communication methods will make a big difference.

Seek Professional Help:

If the situation becomes severe, consider seeking assistance from a counsellor, mediator, or HR professional.?

It's important to address self-righteous bullying promptly to maintain a healthy and inclusive work environment. There should be clear policies in place to prevent and address bullying, with a culture that values respect and cooperation among employees. This all comes under the auspices of workplace bullying.

Bullying in the workplace is a serious issue that can have detrimental effects on individuals and the overall work environment. Workplace bullying involves repeated, unreasonable actions directed towards an employee or group of employees, creating a hostile and intimidating atmosphere. It can manifest in various forms, such as verbal abuse, exclusion, humiliation, or sabotage.

Here are some key points to consider regarding workplace bullying.

There are different types of bullying.

Verbal bullying which includes derogatory comments, insults, and offensive language.

Social bullying, often with the bully getting others involved to exclude, spread rumours, or undermine someone's work or reputation.

Physical bullying, whilst rare in the workplace does happen, even the threat of implied physical bullying can be used.

The impact on people can be dramatic. One’s physical health is affected, it can lead to stress-related health issues, such as headaches, digestive problems, and sleep disturbances.

Victims may experience anxiety, depression, and a decline in self-esteem.

Bullying can negatively affect job performance, job satisfaction, and career advancement.

However, there are techniques to prevent and limit this problem. ?

Clear policies at work against workplace bullying and ensure that employees are aware of them, which leads to training as training employees and managers on recognizing and preventing workplace bullying will help everyone.

Ultimately a positive organisational culture is needed and promoting a positive workplace culture that values respect, open communication, and collaboration is the best way forward.

Leaders should set an example by treating employees with respect and addressing any signs of bullying promptly, NOT ignoring it. Hit this problem head on.

Support for Victims is also important, help create an environment where employees feel comfortable reporting incidents without fear of retaliation or further victimisation.

There must be consequence for the bullies; disciplinary measures for individuals found guilty of workplace bullying at the very least.

Promote accountability by holding everyone accountable for creating a safe and respectful work environment.

This brings me on to the last type of workplace bullying: Trolling.

Trolls in the commercial world typically refer to individuals or entities that engage in disruptive, negative, or harmful behaviours online for various reasons. These cowardly, keyboard warrior trolls may target businesses, brands, or individuals with the intent of causing controversy, spreading misinformation, or simply seeking attention. Dealing with trolls in the commercial world requires a strategic and measured approach.

Identify trolling behaviour, understand the motives behind the trolling, whether it's dissatisfaction, competition, or other reasons, for example, many trolls are suffering from mental disorders. So, you must always maintain professionalism, avoid responding emotionally or impulsively to trolls. Respond in a professional and measured manner to maintain the reputation of the business, or just block the trolls, although often they will return in a different guise. You can implement moderation tools on social media platforms to filter and control inappropriate content, actively moderate comments, and posts to ensure a positive online environment.

In general, don’t engage, however, often this can be very difficult, especially when the troll decides they are quite happy to throw allegations over social media instead of through the correct channels, such as courts, etc.

If you must engage, do so constructively: Respond to legitimate concerns or criticism with constructive and factual information, avoid engaging in prolonged arguments or responding directly to inflammatory comments.

A great tactic is to encourage satisfied customers to share positive experiences.

Legal action can be taken for extreme cases, consider legal action against trolls if their actions involve defamation, harassment, or other illegal activities.

Report abusive behaviour to the platforms where it occurs, although often just blocking them does often work.

It's essential for businesses to have a proactive strategy for managing trolls and negative online behaviour. By fostering a positive online environment, responding professionally, and taking appropriate actions, when necessary, businesses can mitigate the impact of trolling and protect their reputation in the commercial world.

My own experience with trolling has fortunately been limited, although I have had one person that has been hounding me for some time, with more and more lurid allegations. Unfortunately, I had to block them on all channels, across all brands. I used all the above techniques, yet, when dealing with people that are obsessive, you’ll have to just block and move on. Usually, if you don’t react or give in to their (sometimes) financial blackmail, they’ll wander off, bored. In my instance, I believe they have stopped; however, this article could restart them, yet I don’t believe that I should stop posting my positive articles because of one person. Do you?

?If you'd like to know more about the Anti-Bullying Alliance please DM me and I'll be happy to make the introduction.

In the mean time, please pop over to www.fatadams.co.uk and have a look at the cocktails we have on offer!