Dealing with the Monster Inside

I woke up and decided to seek professional help from a skin specialist. You see, I have been battling with acne for about two years.

So during those two years, what did I do? Your guess is as good as mine, I sought for solutions in all the wrong places. I have tried all the DIYs on YouTube, read all “10 ways to heal acne at home” and “50 ways to get a baby smooth face” and at this point with all the cosmetic knowledge I have gathered, I am wondering; did I possibly take up the wrong career? Was I perhaps meant to be a herbal dermatologist? You all get what I mean, don’t you?

Technology has simplified everything and I mean, why do I need to see a doctor when I can self-medicate through Google at a less, sorry, no fee? See, I was not dealing with the internal problem but instead, I was working on the surface, never mind that my skin problem was emanating from inside. At some point I thought that my skin is reacting because I have resisted the great Kenyan tide of what you’d call genuine and professional make up. Perhaps, if I could afford to buy branded genuine make-up, my skin would transform and get back to its former smooth state, how misguided I was!! Yet still, I bought all the branded make up, and beautiful did I look!

A few days ago, however, I just felt tired, annoyed that I could not walk out of the house without my make up on and pretending that my self-esteem is still intact (not to say that I am entirely superficial, but hey!) and decided, you know what, I need help, professional help! I immediately looked for a dermatologist and scheduled an appointment.

Come Saturday morning, I make my way to the clinic in Upper hill, so excited about the prospect of my woes finally coming to an end. The doctor and I get talking in the consultation room, with some few examinations here and there to establish my ailment. Oh, I forgot to mention that I had carried a bag full of assorted face creams, make-up and all those self-treating concoctions you can ever think of, for the doctor to assess.

After careful review, my dermatologist tells me that my skin rash and inflammation has been caused by a hormonal imbalance. In my head I was thinking, my God, you mean I have been treating the wrong ailment/symptoms all this while!! I got all the medications prescribed, hopeful that finally, my beautiful skin will be back after weeks of treatment. I am ecstatic to say the least!!

I thank God for my predicament and my ability to make that drastic but very important “life changing” decision because indeed, it is trans-formative!! I believe, a confident woman is a successful woman! My ailment and treatment, however, got me wondering just how many times we seek the wrong solutions because we really don’t want to deal with the real issues. It is amazing how we imagine that for example, taking pain killers, will alleviate our pain and hopefully, depress or kill the viruses/bacteria, name them all, within our bodies. How many people for instance go to a psychiatrist when they are dealing with mental issues, especially in Africa-Kenya to be exact? See, we want to mumble and murmur about our problems, while what we need to do is deal with our cowardly self and pursue the right answers. While short term seemingly good solutions like, sex, drugs, alcohol, binge watching and reading may relieve the pain, discomfort or whatever it is that you’re dealing with, they cannot address the root cause of the problem.

What would happen if we all chose to deal with the internal issues affecting us, the daddy issues, childhood neglect, you name them! What if instead of cheating on your partner, you chose communication, healing the past hurts and rekindling the love that you two had? Can we resolve not to cover up but instead, be brave enough to face the monster that is affecting us?

What little devil are you dealing with and what do you plan to do about it?