Dealing with loneliness

I remember vividly that when my chemical engineering friends and I left our homes in Durban, 28 years ago, after landing jobs in Johannesburg, a number of friends chose to live alone. However, they were not equipped to deal with loneliness, and very soon began participating in uncharacteristic activities - drugs, alcohol and illicit relationships with women.

I know of at least one friend that lost his job directly related to loneliness.

"Loneliness is a disease!" some people claim. I have a different approach. My approach is that loneliness presents an amazing opportunity for you to learn about you.

Loneliness allows YOU to become YOUR best friend.

Here follows the wise words of a travelling and mystical yogi that I encountered during meditation...

My child, loneliness is a shadow cast by the yearning for another, but what if the sun you seek resides within? Befriend your own soul, become the companion of your own journey, and you'll find an unyielding wellspring of peace amidst any solitude. Five seeds I offer to nurture this friendship:

Embrace your true self.

Gaze into the mirror not with critical eyes, but with the gentle curiosity of a friend. See the symphony of scars and wrinkles, the map of your lived experience. Find beauty in your quirks, wisdom in your silence, and strength in your vulnerabilities. Accept yourself, all of you, as a masterpiece in progress.

Nurture your passions.

What sets your heart ablaze? Art, music, nature, knowledge – follow the whispers of your soul. Dedicate time to your passions, explore them with childlike wonder, and celebrate each spark of joy they ignite. In cultivating your inner garden, you nurture a sanctuary where loneliness never enters.

Listen to your whispers.

The world bombards you with noise, but the truest wisdom blooms in the quiet. Practice stillness, meditate in the garden of your thoughts. Listen to the whispers of intuition, the yearnings of your spirit. In this sacred silence, you discover the compass that guides you to peace and purpose, your own inner guru.

Celebrate solitude as a gift.

Society might paint it as a curse, but solitude is a fertile ground for introspection and growth. Embrace it as a time to recharge, to reconnect with your authentic self. Read a book under a starlit sky, dance in the rain, take a solo journey – discover the magic of being fully present with yourself.

Forgive yourself, always.

We all stumble, make mistakes, veer off course. But just as a friend offers a hand up, offer yourself forgiveness. Acknowledge your missteps, learn from them, and then dust yourself off with compassion. True self-friendship rests on the bedrock of self-acceptance, not self-flagellation.

Remember, my child, the sun resides within. Become your own best friend, your own companion, and you'll find that even in the vastest desert, you are never truly alone. Walk your path with love, with acceptance, and with the unshakeable knowledge that you are whole, you are worthy, and you are enough.

Go now, and may your journey be filled with the warmth of inner friendship.

On this note, I close off my final edition for 2023. I am deeply grateful for your company in learning with me in 2023. May you have a peaceful and progressive 2024.

Your servant,

Jitesh