Dealing with job search desperation.

For career changers, it can be difficult to discuss this openly. However, I believe it is necessary for us to do so, as job search desperation exists and anyone can succumb to it at times regardless of their experience, age, occupation or walk of life.

Here are some quotes from my clients about this difficult emotional state during the job search process and how they manage to cope with the desperation:

′There is a small part of me that huddles into my knees and shoulders, covers my head with my paws, and thinks ‘all is lost’. The next day, I get up. I start unravelling the knotted rope of my failures. Till the moment when the phrase that there are no hopeless situations comes back to me. ′

′My despair is always tragic. It goes beyond my career and extends to the whole of life, which becomes meaningless and unnecessary. I whine, admitting in public that everything sucks and nothing will work out. And immediately I realise that I am not alone in my feelings, and I can see other people getting out of such a state.′

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′I am not used to being weak, and showing my desperation makes me feel uncomfortable. I start thinking that I am the only one like that. All the other people are so positive and successful, and I'm a loser! I go work in a car: it's a great place where I can cry, scream, howl sometimes.′

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It is important to remember in moments of desperation that being unemployed does not mean we are worthless. In the end, we are more than our careers, so let's not be too harsh on ourselves.

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Before we get discouraged, let's make sure there is a real reason for it. We can remind ourselves that things are probably not what they seem at first glance, and that we don't have enough information to draw far-reaching negative conclusions.

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Sometimes what has happened is just an opportunity to reassess our job search strategy and the expectations.

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1. Let's be realistic. Some of us expect that they will get their ideal job immediately after starting a career change. When it doesn’t happen, everything seems falling apart. The world does not end just because what we imagined did not became an immediate reality. We should recognize that getting a job is not just about our experience, competencies, and skills. Job search is subject to a variety of factors outside of our control that can either bolster or hinder our success. There are many external factors that can influence our career change process, including recession, budget constraints for companies in the current economic climate, hiring freezes, industry disruptions, etc.

2. Every victory counts. Every day we perform a lot of actions in our job search project - big or small, successful and not so much. If we create a magic box where we put notes with our victories, writing down all the successful actions before we go to bed, praising ourselves for them and in moments of despair looking at these notes, it helps to weaken the discouragement, endure it and move on.

3. Refocus. Work is not the only thing that fills our lives. The list goes on. After all, there is family, friends, hobbies, sport, leisure activities, you name it. When we distract ourselves from the sphere where everything seems bad, despair is left behind. When we fill our lives with positivity from other spheres, our job search seems to improve as well.

4. Find an inspirational quote. We can gain the confidence needed to continue striving toward our career goals by focusing on our personal job search motto.

Winston Churchill said: ‘Success is the ability to move from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.’

I personally love Freud's phrase: ‘Desperation is not a moment of truth.’

Finally, yes, job search desperation can feel very real, but let's remember that our capability to face challenges calmly and with trust in ourselves is the most critical factor in our ability to get the career we dream about.