Dealing with imposter syndrome

A few tips for when you are questioning if you belong somewhere.

Welcome back to Shrug Diaries, my newsletter where I share what I’m learning, thinking, and hearing, plus a curated mix of links worth your time. I am blown away that we just passed 500 subscribers ??! Thank you all for your support and for being here. As always, drop me a note with what you want me to cover next.

I want to let you in on a secret. Some of the most successful people you know all share one thing in common. They’ve all battled imposter syndrome.

According to Psychology Today, around 70% of adults may experience impostorism at some point in their life. And around 25-30% of high achievers experience it.?

There are some great technical definitions of imposter syndrome out there, but my own is this: Questioning if you belong somewhere. If you’re deserving of what you have. If you should be in the room you’re in or sitting at the table you are.?

It’s something that many of my guests have talked about on Connection Request, either on or off the mic. In fact, a surprising amount of the people I've reached out to to be on the show have said some version of "I don't feel like my story is interesting enough to be on your podcast." (They are wrong!). The show is born out of a strongly held belief of mine that everyone has a story to tell, and that we can all learn from each other. But I understand why they feel that way because I have too.

There are a lot of different strategies for dealing with imposter syndrome, but here are four I find to be really helpful:?

1. Keep a smile file: Keep a little folder or note of the praise and words of encouragement you receive - from emails, texts, your performance review, wherever. Doesn’t matter how small they are. Just document them and refer back to them when you need a pick-me-up. I often look back at my LinkedIn endorsements or glowing comments from when I announced I was going independent because looking at myself through someone else's eyes can help tremendously.
2. Get good hype people: Surround yourself with people who can help you through it and offer a different perspective when you’re dealing with those feelings. Trusted friends or allies who can serve as a counterbalance are so important, and it's something you can likely help each other with. For some, that might be a bit more formal than friends like a mentor or career coach. Whoever it is in your life, bring people in and watch imposter syndrome's power diminish.??
3. Take time to reflect: It's so easy to get wrapped up in dealing with the here and now on top of worrying about the future. But looking back and reflecting on how far you've come, things you've accomplished both big and small, and milestones you've achieved can be a powerful antidote and reminder that you are deserving of what you have. Think about the obstacles you've already come to help you deal with the next ones.
4. Practice self-affirmations: Come up with your own little mantra or words of affirmation when you’re feeling some of the telltale signs of imposter syndrome. Maybe it’s as simple as “I got this” or “I do indeed deserve to be here.” Something short and sweet should do the trick to head off those feelings when they start to sink in.

It's here where I should disclose (while not diminishing my experiences) that I am not a psychologist, therapist, or expert in this field. In fact, those of you who know me well know I'm always an advocate for professional counseling services as I detail in my own mental health story.

These are just a few ideas I’ve tried and have helped me. What has worked for you? Let me know in the comments.?

Link Mix???

• Just finished listening to Number Go Up, Zeke Faux 's excellent and funny book telling the story of crypto. It is wilder than you'd ever imagine.
• Speaking of things to listen to, take a few minutes today to listen to Mark Lulsens wax lyrical about building a creative culture. I promise you'll learn something from it.
• Just trust me: John Oliver on McKinsey.
• A must-read from my friend Mimi Hayton : The Office and the Eating Disorder
• Learned a ton from Keesa C. S. 's latest episode of Climate Money Work, featuring a fabulous conversation with Tracy S Harris on how boards view culture, geopolitics, generative AI, and more.
• I am thoroughly enjoying the latest season of Vox 's Land of the Giants, where Peter Kafka details the chaos at Twitter going all the way back to its founding. It is equally nostalgic as it is fascinating.
• Finally, ICYMI Connection Request is dropping WEEKLY this season. So far we've chatted to the co-star of DAVE on FX, a popular Teacher-TikToker, and the owner of Minnesota's first NA bottle shop. Dropping later today is a conversation with my favorite restaurateur. You can find all the episodes on YouTube or podcast platforms.

Shrug Diaries is a production of Shrug Content, a podcast studio based in Minnesota, operating globally. We produce Connection Request and Climate. Money. Work. Learn more at shrugcontent.com.