Dealing with Failures and Weaknesses

My life is full of failures and weaknesses. It has made me a good teacher because I know how it feels to fail. We cannot get rid of our fear of failures but we can develop ways to deal with failures and weaknesses. I found three ways:

1. Slice your task into the smallest steps

I suffered from stage fright when I was in school and was naturally weak in public speaking. I know it is an important skill to develop if I want to advance my career.?To overcome my stage fright, I took the smallest step.?

During the early part of my banking career, whenever I attended conferences held in large hotel ballrooms or convention centers, I would stay till the end of the event and then go up to the empty stage pretending to look for something. The truth is I was letting the bright light shine into my eyes and visualising myself speaking to a large audience.

After I did that for several years, I was still nervous on the stage but brave enough to grab opportunities to speak on stage for a few minutes. Some 20 years later, I became a keynote speaker and get paid to speak at conferences. It all started with standing on empty stages.

It is very difficult to overcome weaknesses, so start with the smallest step.

2. Make Your Weakness Your Uniqueness?

I failed my English literature exam in school. As an engineer by training, I was more comfortable with numbers than with words. So when I started writing on social media, I used simple English, and wrote in short sentences and in point form. I used stories to help readers relate better to what I wanted to say. It worked! Because of social media, readers’ attention span today is only eight seconds, shorter than that of a goldfish (nine seconds). Most social media users prefer content that goes straight to the point.?

When I wrote my book “Small Actions”, I did in the same style and organised the book into 66 bite-sized chapter. Many readers who reviewed my book found the book to be an easy read.?

Here is what a reader, ? Chris S. said on Amazon:?

My weakness in English has helped me develop my own style of writing.

Your weakness can be your uniqueness

3. Reveal Your Weaknesses and Failures

Social media is flooded with posts of achievements and successes. The number of LinkedIn users who follow the hashtag #success is 200 times more than those who follow #failure . When you talk about your own success, you feel good; when you talk about your failures, you make others feel good.?

So if you want to build rapport and trust with others, reveal some of your failures and weaknesses. This is known as the pratfall effect: competent individuals tend to become more likeable after committing mistakes.?

But try not to share failures publicly if they are still hurting you or if you don't feel comfortable.

Share your scar, not your wound.

Scar are failures that you have already recovered from. Wound are failures are still hurting you and people can say something to hurt you even further.?

In my bio, I share that I was rejected by Princeton PhD program back in 2000. It was so long ago, it no longer hurts me.?

If you want to share your wound, share in private with your trusted family members and friends. ?

I hope, with the above three way, you will do hard things. If you succeed, that is great; if you fail, then you'll become a person with stories to tell. ?