Dealing With the Demons of Low Self-Esteem

Over the course of every person's life, there are a series of obstacles which they need to overcome in order to live the full, complete, rich life they deserve. Sometimes, these obstacles may be tangible or practical in nature- it might relate to poverty, for example. Other issues will be more intransient, the details for which we need to look within our own selves in order to understand and overcome them.

In my life, one of my main personal obstacles to tackle fits this bill of being unphysical. It exists, not in the world at large, but in my own head. The obstacle I refer to is my long-running struggle with a ridiculously low, fragile self-esteem.

Like I say, this issue has no existence in other peoples' lives. It exists solely within my own character, posing issues only for me as an individual. Obviously, there are other people in the world, who have similar self-esteem issues, which will be as highly unique and personalised for them as mine are for me. It's hard to say whether this makes it better or worse- on the one hand, we can derive unity in our similar problems, but on the other hand, these problems are still tailored to us personally, and therefore difficult to be made comprehensible to anyone else. The fact that the problem is so widespread is, in itself, harrowing.

On a positive note, the fact that a problem is unseeable does not make it unknowable. Explaining our self-esteem to other people might be made challenging by the struggles of ascribing words to an inherently abstract, emotional matter, which is what self-esteem is. However, even if nobody else understands what we're going through, there's always one person who does, and that's our own selves. By understanding what we're dealing with, we can find methods to actually resolve the problems, just as we would in any other situation.

This is exactly the problem I've faced in my life. Throughout my schooling years, I was at the bottom of the pile, with no discernible skills of communication, proactivity or understanding of social nuance. This alienated me from everyone and anyone I interacted with, which placed my self-esteem at the absolute deepest depths it could possibly reach. Because of my non-existent self-esteem, I had no inclination to try and improve myself, which left me stagnant in the mindset that I had no skills, no positive traits, and no good or worthy things to offer to anyone, ever.

Leaving school and facing the real world only exacerbated the problem. My self-perpetuating, chicken-and-egg situation of no self-esteem and no life experience, had put me in the position where pretty much no employer wanted me. Naturally, it took me a while to find a way out of this seemingly endless maze.

It was only by forcing myself out of my miniscule comfort zone, making tiny contributions to the community through voluntary efforts, that I was able to slowly but surely raise above the emotional nadir I'd long resided within. I knew that there was no way I could carry on through the rest of my life in such a pitiful state. I could see everyone else around me thriving, living good lives, simply because they had the nerve to try it out and risk failing. I reckoned that, if they could do it, so could I.

Time and effort is what it took for me to improve, not just my career, but the low self-esteem which had held that career back. I came to realise that self-esteem is not a thing that just comes and goes, like the weather. It's earned through hard work and effort, and by doing good and estimable things.

This is what I learned to ask myself, and continue to do so currently: what kind of person do I find worthy, good, likeable and admirable? What can I physically do in order to embody those qualities and take the actions that a person like this would do? It is from here that self-esteem is found and harnessed. By taking practical, physical actions, the seemingly intangible problem of low self-esteem can be dealt with in real, meaningful and long-lasting ways.

This is the way I've done it, after many years of trial and error, risks, mistakes and failures. It was worth it, to get me to where I am now, with a solid self-esteem which is durable enough to get me through any forthcoming struggles and onward to success.

If I can do it, then so can you.