Dealing with Criticism

Criticism, incorrectly dealt with can completely throw us and result in a loss of confidence and self image. We can even become so sensitive to criticism that our whole life is negatively impacted. It is important to accept that if you are a leader or even just doing something the chances are that you will be criticized at some point. The technique that I lave listed below works for me and I hope that it can assist, if you are struggling to deal with criticism. It involves Calm Evaluation and a thing called the Rubbish Bin. i.e. Where Items are placed never to be recalled or thought of again.

1.      Remember that not all criticism is true. However, unfortunately some of it may be. Fortunately when processed correctly all criticism can be useful – even the most vicious negative type.

To deal with criticism in meaningful way I suggest the following technique.

a.      Listen to what is being said. Do not react but respond calmly as in (b)

b.     Thank the individual(s) for their input. Deal with the Criticism later! Doing this helps us calm down and to respond rather than react. Try to gauge their motives so as to understand why it is being said.

d.     Remove the person, motives and emotion from the critical statement. This may not be easy but it is necessary for sound evaluation of criticism.

e.     Later, evaluate the critical statement as follows;

   i.     Is it true? – then evaluate further as indicated below in (f)!

      ii.     Is it partially true? – evaluate the partial truth further as in (f) and put the untrue part into the Rubbish Bin.

      iii.     Is it completely untrue? - put it into the Rubbish Bin. N/B it is important to completely discard anything that is untrue. Do not get caught up with spending time and emotion on untrue criticism.

f.       Evaluate the statement as follows: Remember evaluate only the portion that is true.

     i. Is it meaningful in the context of my action and will it bring meaningful improvement?

     ii. If it is unimportant in context or won’t bring real improvement – Rubbish Bin.

     iii. Evaluate if I really do need to change my behavior, decisions etc as a result of the criticism? If not – Rubbish Bin.

     iv. What is the impact if I don’t? If no real impact or real need to change – Rubbish Bin.

     v. If it is significant and important, I ask myself can I change what is being criticized? It may be impossible or I may even not want to. I may be comfortable with the present situation. If I cannot change what is being criticized – Rubbish Bin.

     vi. If I can and need to change something, how urgent is it and how much effort will it take? In this case set yourself objectives to improve or change only these true items that will bring significant improvement and implement your plan. N/B Stay away from getting caught up in the person(s) or the emotion! This can be very counterproductive!

I Pray that you grow and become stronger with every criticism you face.

Blessings Charles