Dealing with the Consequences of Being Myself. Again.

You know who you are (relatively) by 24 years of age.??

You spend 24-34 testing it out.??

By 34, you are solid.?You are you. ?

By 44, you understand – with great humility – all the harm you’ve caused by being you.?You hang your head in your hands, and realize the work now in front of you to fix all that you’ve damaged along the way of being you.

By 54, you accept fully, forgive fully, and get on with living the rest of your life as you.???

?If you went back to your high school now, it would seem smaller.?The same, but different.??If you saw your old mates from high school, it would be the same, but different.??Life, like the toilet bowl water, like the DNA helix, like the stars spinning in the cosmos – spirals.??Experience spirals.?We come back to ourselves over and over and over again, each time from a slightly different vantage point.??This is why we hate the sound of our voice on the recording from 5 years ago – because … that wasn’t me.?Did I really believe that??

We are constantly learning.?????We repeat ourselves in almost exact patterns – in spirals.???We learn ourselves more deeply every day through reflected experience.???The task is to deal with the consequences of being yourself with as much ease and grace as possible.???And, that’s what this whole shin-dig called life is all about.????Because you are perfectly imperfect, as it turns out.????You are a unique ball of energy that has traveled through time and experience to be where you are right now and to know it.???

There are moments when you can let your truth shine rays outward in waves of grace and guided by will.???Days when we are pushed so deeply into the fabric of ourselves that we can seamlessly slip into the suit of our soul and then reflect on its entrance afterward.???These moments are fleeting and perfect.? In these moments, we shine Truth like the Sun and feel tingles up our spine like hearing a beautiful melody – the song of our authentic expression.??In these moments of grace and selfish honesty, we will say, “Wow.??That was easy.???I just need to be me.???Honest.???I need to be clear on what I want.???Do it or Say it.???And have the courage to deal with the consequences of being myself.”??

Other times, we’ll conform.?We’ll acquiesce.??We’ll say “yes ma’am or yes sir” and busy ourselves with pleasing mate, superior, or friend.???There will also be times when we’re not even clear on who ourselves are to be.?We’ll travel the middle road between ideas and ideals, left and right, and just get on with life.??These days are perhaps the most difficult and lasting; the “waiting place” is the most dangerous of places.??

So, here’s a few little tips to help you on your way of finding yourself – again.?And again.?And again.??

1. Breathe into your heart.?Open your eyes.?And enjoy the feeling of spaciousness.?Ignore thoughts that come.?Stay here.??Breathe into your heart.??
2. As life comes at you, speak your truth and stand grounded in it.??
3. Listen without disagreeing or relating it to you.?That usually is a false self that responds anyway.?Instead, just let the other person discover their own truth by the echo of their words.?When we taste our own words, we learn more than the tennis match of discourse.??
4. Don’t take anything personal.??Instead, practice being kind and empathetic.??
5. Feel everything and notice how it feels.???Don’t be reactive.???Just wait on the response to come.?
6. Then, rinse and repeat.??Breathe.??Center.??Speak your truth and stand in grounded in it.????

Start living as yourself.???Start by being authentic with yourself.???And, then show up as nothing other than yourself in the world.???If you don’t feel like having a conversation, politely leave it.???But, notice first what it is that you want.????Start here.???And, then be brave!?

It’s your life, after all.???As my friend Sabrina says, Execute on it.???The only difference between the idea of you and the realization of you is moving from idea to action.???So, Just Do It.?

Best luck on your journey,

Dr. Ryan Pride

PS – In order to show up in the world and receive love, we must first understand all the ways we get in the way of its natural flow.???Trust.???And, offer up humble service to the way of your truth and the passions of your heart.???Trust.???In the end, all is faith.???

>>>> Dr. Ryan Pride is a Sr. Partner with the Moksha Group - a firm dedicated to improving the wellbeing of individuals, teams, and organizations through culture transformation and leadership development.???A profit-for-purpose company, the Moksha Group applies Ancient Teachings for the Modern Time in order to transform striving into thriving.?? TheMokshaGroup.com