Dealing with conflict in life and business

I am generally a patient and tolerant soul. If I'd lost my temper frequently during a 27 year career of teaching English to students who were between 11 to 18, I'd probably be dead now. You need the patience of Mother Theresa to last that long in a challenging career.

Yet, as I've got older and left the constraints of a classroom, I'd say my patience levels have actually increased.

I realise, as you should and probably do, that conflict in life and business is not a positive experience to propagate. Conflict leads to stress and stress kills.

I'd like to see out another 35 years or more and reach my 90s and to attain that I need to avoid physical and emotional conflict.

Easier said than done?

Probably but that doesn't mean it's something you should aspire to.

In both my personal and professional life, I've encountered conflict and perhaps instead of engaging in battle, my own wellbeing and that of others may have been better served by walking away.

If I could turn back time, like Cher, there's certain battles I would never have fought and others I'd have approached with less bravado.

In business, one I've been running for almost 8 years now, conflicts have been sporadic and infrequent, considering I've probably worked with over 1000 clients on web design, copywriting and marketing.

They've all got one thing in common though and one that makes me bear arms and begin a fight - they lie.

They lie about settling an invoice, they lie about what they said they wanted, they lie about agreements.

There's other aspects that cause tensions too - the micromanager is one, the client who offers no input, but mainly it's liars.

Money to me is important.

Not in any worshipping Mammon way. No. It's important because it allows me to live a certain way without too many worries. Money validates too the time I've expended and the effort and experience I bring.

So when clients lie - there's 5 I could name easily now - it makes my temple throb as it's often about money.

I've pursued all 5 clients over the past 8 years legally and had success with all bar one. He remains a non-payer still.

But what I realise now is that conflict over ￡500, ￡14, ￡1000 is not conducive to creativity.

Or good mental or physical health.

My advice to anyone facing conflict regularly or sporadically in business is now simple - raise the issue, try to achieve resolution, but if efforts are in vain, walk away. Don't let these lying non-payers live rent free in your head. Find others who do appreciate and reward you promptly and live a longer, happier life.

The only time you should revisit the past is in museums, art galleries and buildings - let those experiences salve you and not the actions of five bad apples.