DEALING WITH CHANGE

Changes are never far away, whether it is breaking up with an ex, having a best friend move away, facing the death of a relative, the loss of a job, or a demotion, or living through disappointment about something that once meant a great deal but that has not turned out as hoped for.

Being prepared for a changing world involves flexibility, strength of self-purpose, and belief in one's own worth.

Life is full of unexpected surprises; do not let this be a lesson you refuse to learn. Death, loss, and strange situations will be a part of your life, no matter how much you may try to shelter or protect yourself from them. The major key to coping with change is to accept the reality of change and its inevitability.

Once you have accepted the reality that you cannot change others and that the only way they can change you is if you let them, then you suddenly find yourself empowered.

Empowerment is a key element of change acceptance and change management. When you feel empowered, in command, and not bothered by events but conscious of a need to roll with the surrounding effects to lessen their impact, it is easier to accept change.

If you are grieving after a death, be it for a person or a pet, do not let anyone tell you how long to grieve for. That decision is yours, but your life cannot meander in sorrow forever.

However, it is most clear that those who avoid grieving do end up worse off and can sometimes experience breakdowns and be left with an inability to cope at unexpected times. With grief for death, there will always be a piece of your heart missing, but if you accept this and are willing to keep the memories alive as best you can for the rest of your life, this will help you reach some acceptance of what has happened.

If you have had job loss or some other non-depth-related personal loss you still need time to mourn and to assuage your sadness and grief over the loss of the thing that once filled a large part of your life. Perhaps a small ending ceremony of some sort will help to give you a sense of closure and allow you to move forward.

Change occurs, but you do not need to be buffeted by it. Have a purpose in life, no matter what it is, that serves as your own personal anchor. While it is important to be open to change and to be flexible as to the possibilities that change open up for you, it is also important to remain true to yourself and the dreams that you hold in life. This self-belief and your dreams serve as your anchor.

Whatever else life throws your way, these are the barometers by which you can measure your progress in the world and how you are reacting to change. Be prepared to question your methods of getting to where you wish to go, but be less prepared to change your destination if it means dismantling the person you are inside.

Look for the opportunities that you can make use of when change occurs rather than continuously viewing the change as a deep loss or as something making you think nothing will ever be the same.

Remember the adage every cloud having a silver lining. There is a reason for this saying - wise humans of the past knew well that change could herald both fear and opportunity. Once the fog of shock, despair, and anger passes, look for the opportunities that exist in the change.

Change Your Future, Now!

Look into this 642-page book it is the result of a four-year project called Project Tomorrow. During the four-year period, we followed more than 500 trainees, aged from 16 to 72.

The trainees were from colleges and reinsertion programs in administration and computer science. Some of the trainees that were implicated where dropouts from school districts, and others were new immigrants or unemployed workers from different economic and social backgrounds.

To graduate, the trainee had to perform during a period of three months in a business environment. At the end of that time, an appreciation evaluation was performed to determine both the amount of change the trainee experienced during the period and the impact of that change on the trainee.

Many of the questions, reflections, and answers presented in this book are issued from our findings during this period. We would like to thank all the trainees for their efforts and determination during the process.

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