DEALING WITH ANXIETY IN YOUR FINANCES

Fifteen (15) years ago, I found myself in a terrible financial mess. I had just commenced business and was finding it very difficult to make ends meet. “The harder I work, the better my chances of breaking through;” so I thought. But the reverse was the case. I kept striving harder: leaving home early in the morning to hustle; and getting back late at night; every single day. Yet, nothing changed. I was really struggling with my finances. I got an office and couldn’t pay the rent; neither could I pay the monthly service charges. I vividly recall that for a stretch of several months; no income came into the business. Hmmm… those were very desperate moments for me. I was living in a constant state of anxiety concerning my finances. Yet, I kept striving and hoping that things would change. But I quickly learned that things don’t just happen because of hope necessarily; you need to be very intentional about how you approach your financial affairs.

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Being overly anxious about one’s financial state seems to be a normal thing these days; but it shouldn’t. For one thing, you live in a perpetual state of fear which could lead to other unpleasant things happening to you. I know based on experience that one must not condone anxiety in whatever form. Having struggled for many months, not knowing where and when the next money would come from; my health just broke down. I was completely burnt out and needed several weeks to recuperate. Another thing I quickly learned is that when you perpetually live in a state of anxiety; you would be susceptible to psychosomatic illnesses. In other words, excessive anxiety could lead to insomnia, high blood pressure, lower back pain, indigestion, aches, headache/migraine, erectile dysfunction, skin rash, stomach disorder; just to mention a few. What is more, depression and suicidal tendencies could set in. So, how do you effectively deal with anxiety?

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First, you need to stop putting too much pressure on yourself. I got a distress call a few weeks ago about a gentleman who had to be quickly rushed to the hospital. He was bleeding profusely through the nose and his blood pressure was off the chart. The doctors had to run several tests on him, and place him on drugs. I was really concerned, and had to interview him; in order to get to the root cause. He told me pointblank that he was under tremendous pressure from people’s expectations of him. He said, “When people expect so much from you, especially financially, and you don’t seem to be meeting up; you come under tremendous pressure.” He further told me that no matter how much he tried; he simply couldn’t meet up. Before he knew it, he began to find it difficult to sleep; and high blood pressure set in. The last time we spoke, he was scheduled for a brain scan because the doctors fear that the thing might have affected part of his brain. We all seem to be under immense pressure these days most especially due to financial obligations. But if care is not taken; it might lead to negative effects. I would like to suggest that you try as much as possible to limit the pressure you put on yourself due to other’s expectations of you. If you die today, they would quickly move on.

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Second, celebrate small wins. Most often than not, we are so fixated on what seems not to be working that we become blindsided to the things that we are still getting right in our finances. In my experience, I have discovered that gratitude for the seemingly small wins goes a long way in stemming the tide of anxiety and depression. Many times, I just prostrate in my study and thank God for the things that are still working for me in spite of the challenges and the tremendous financial obligations I may be confronting at that time. Time and again, this has worked for me.??Each time I express gratitude for the small wins, it would be as though a weight were taken off my shoulders; and I would feel somewhat relieved. My mind would then be opened up to conceive ideas that had the potential of giving me the solutions and succour. Hopelessness is a direct result of ingratitude for what you have; and this leads to a sense of anxiety and depression. If you don’t wean yourself from it; you would tend to start having suicidal thoughts: ‘Why not take your life and end it all? At least you would be able to rest…’ Do not give in. Be grateful for what you currently have and those things you seem not to have would start gravitating towards you.

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In conclusion, living in perpetual anxiety concerning your current financial state is a choice. I know you might be thinking that you really don’t have a choice; but you do. In other words, you can choose not to be anxious no matter how dire your financial situation may be. You can choose to be joyful, happy and grateful for what you currently have. At least if not for anything; but for the mere fact that you are still alive. And once there is life, there is a tremendous opportunity to make things right so as to get better results in your finances.

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I love you.?

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Benjamin Aduroja

Global Financial Consultant

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