Dealing with Anger in a Healthier Way
Marigold Groot
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We've all been there - that frustrating situation where you feel anger boiling up inside you. Maybe you got reprimanded at work for something that wasn't your fault. Or a rude driver cut you off in traffic. Whatever the cause, anger can quickly take over and put us in an heated, irrational state of mind.
Holding onto that angry feeling is bad for our mental health. Letting anger fester leads to higher stress levels, soured relationships with friends and family, anxiety, depression, and other emotional trouble down the line. But too often, we struggle to let go of anger in a healthy, productive way.
Well, recent research has found a remarkably simple yet effective technique to help release anger before it can fester and impact your well-being. By writing down what made you angry and physically throwing away those thoughts, you can "discard" your angry feelings too. It's almost like magic!
The Anger-Relieving Superpower of Throwing Stuff Away
This isn't just a wives' tale or anecdotal belief - it's backed up by scientific evidence. Researchers at Nagoya University in Japan published fascinating findings on the power of this write-and-discard method for reducing anger.
In their study, participants were first insulted and provoked to feel angry by receiving harsh, demeaning feedback on an assignment. Definitely a situation to make your blood boil! The researchers then instructed some people to write down their angry thoughts on a piece of paper - but here's the key part. One group was told to keep holding onto that paper, while the other group physically discarded it by shredding it or throwing it in the trash.
Can you guess what happened? Those who shredded or threw away their angry thoughts experienced an almost complete reduction in angry feelings, back to their baseline before the insult. But those who held onto the paper stayed angry and irritated.
It's like destroying or throwing away those angry thoughts created a psychological separation and "let go" of the anger-provoking situation. Kind of like that Japanese tradition of smashing plates representing your frustrations and negativity. Writing allowed people to process the anger, and physically removing that paper made it easier to move on.
How This Can Improve Your Mental Health
Being stuck in an endless cycle of anger and irritability takes a huge toll on our emotional well-being and relationships. The mind-body connection is real - physical effects like increased blood pressure, headaches, insomnia, and more can result from ruminating on anger. Not a healthy state to be in regularly!
By giving you an easy way to "get rid" of anger before it becomes unproductive hostility, this write-and-discard method promotes healthier processing of difficult emotions. You feel anger in the moment, acknowledge it by writing it out, but prevent it from taking over by separating from those hostile thoughts. With regular practice, it can keep anger from spiraling into bigger issues like depression, anxiety, or ruined relationships.
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What's great is that this technique is something you can do anywhere, anytime - no equipment required beyond a pen and paper. Caught yourself seething after an argument with your spouse? Take a breather, write down what's irking you, and trash that paper. Getting worked up before a big meeting or over something your kid did? Write and discard those thoughts to re-center. You're in control of the anger, not the other way around.
More Simple Ways to Keep Anger in Check
While writing and discarding is an awesome anger-relieving tool, it's not the only one that can benefit your mental health. Whenever you feel anger start to escalate, try:
Combining the write-and-discard method with other straightforward techniques like these can be a powerful way to get anger under control and avoid letting it dictate your mindset and actions.
Making It An Anger-Busting Habit
To get the most mental health benefits from this write-and-discard approach, look to make it an ingrained habit in your anger management arsenal. An easy way is to pre-make "discard sheets" - pieces of paper or note cards you designate solely for writing down sources of anger before throwing them out. Keep a few in your pocket, car, bag, or desk so you always have one handy.
Or set a visible reminder like taping an empty waste bin to your office wall, so you're cued to grab a sheet and jot down frustrating thoughts before crumpling them up and "scoring" the basket. Turn it into a routine every time you notice anger arising. The more you use and rely on this write-and-discard process, the more automatic and effective it can become for you.
Don't Let Anger Run Your Life
In high-pressure work scenarios, difficult patches of life, or just running into rude people and annoying circumstances, it's normal to experience bouts of anger. But allowing that anger to linger and control your state of being causes serious harm to your mental health and well-being over time. Simple methods like writing thoughts and physically separating from them can short-circuit that anger more than you'd think.
By making easy, judgment-free ways to express and "throw away" anger part of your regular routine, you'll find a much healthier relationship with this intense emotion. You'll be more present, positive, and at peace in your daily life. What could be better for your mental health than that?