Dealing with Alcoholism in Family Life

Article published on Your Pivot website in October 2024

As?Go Sober for October?sweeps across the UK, many individuals seize the opportunity to give up alcohol for 31 days, focusing on improving their health and well-being.?In 2021-22, there were?about 300,000 adults in treatment for a drug or alcohol use disorder ?in the UK. This?number?does not include individuals who were suffering in silence.?For families?affected by alcoholism,?Go Sober for October?is?much more than just a health boost—it can be a step towards addressing deeper issues of alcohol dependency that may have lasting effects on relationships, parenting, and family dynamics. Alcoholism often causes significant?financial and relational?strain within families, influencing decisions to separate or divorce, and creating ongoing challenges in co-parenting after separation.?In many ways, alcoholism isn’t just a personal struggle, it is a family affair.

Alcoholism and Couples: Strain and Separation

There are many interdependencies between divorce and substance addiction. There is no doubt that addiction affects marriage: it creates an imbalance of responsibilities, it breaks trust and there is, of course, a financial cost to addiction which can create stress in a couple.?Over time, it can create an environment where one partner feels neglected, unsafe, or overwhelmed by their spouse's drinking habits. These ongoing issues frequently push couples towards the difficult decision to separate or divorce.

Even when addiction wasn’t an issue during the marriage, research shows that people who are recently divorced also have a higher risk of developing an addiction. Even if the divorce isn’t particularly complicated, marriage breakdown is a traumatic event for most people, and it is often a source of high stress, loneliness, and loss of sense of self. Unfortunately, these are all triggers for addiction.?

In the context of?reaching divorce settlements, alcohol addiction can play a major role in negotiations, especially where children are involved. Concerns about safety and responsible parenting often come to the forefront. In many cases, alcohol abuse becomes a key factor influencing custody decisions, as one partner may feel that the other’s drinking habits jeopardise the children’s welfare. This dynamic complicates the already difficult process of separation, forcing parents to address not only their relationship but also the effects their alcoholism may have on their role as caregivers.

Alcoholism and Co-parenting: Challenges and Solutions

After divorce, alcoholism continues to affect family life, particularly in co-parenting arrangements. The non-dependent parent may have significant concerns about the safety of the children when they are with the alcoholic parent. Disagreements over custody schedules or last-minute changes due to one parent’s drinking habits can lead to further disputes and even legal interventions. In some cases, these disputes may end up in court, where alcohol dependency could influence visitation rights.?Ultimately, the parents need to achieve a delicate balance between protecting their children and striving to keep both parents involved in their lives. Supervised contact is a very helpful way to provide a safe environment for visits without cutting out the parent struggling with alcohol. There are also technology tools such as?Soberlink , a portable breathalyser that provides court-admissible evidence, that can be leveraged to reassure one parent that the other isn’t drinking while the children are in their care.

For children, having a parent struggling with alcoholism can be emotionally distressing. They may feel anxious, confused, or caught in the middle of their parents’ conflicts. In these situations, children benefit most from stability and open communication. Consistent routines and clear boundaries are essential, and both parents need to work together to ensure the well-being of their children despite the challenges posed by alcohol dependency. It is important for the non-alcoholic parent to model a calm and supportive approach, while also establishing firm expectations around safe and responsible co-parenting.

Conclusion

Alcoholism impacts every aspect of family?life,?from the strain it puts on relationships to the challenges it creates in co-parenting after divorce.?Go Sober for October?offers families a meaningful opportunity to confront these issues head-on, whether as a starting point for addressing alcohol dependency or as a chance to break unhealthy habits.?If alcohol has affected your family, there’s no better time than now to make a change.

Embrace?Go Sober for October?and take the first step towards a healthier, more connected future.