Deaf Awareness Week My good friend J

I wanted to share with you the story of my good friend J.

J is the son of close friends of my husband and I.?He was born extremely premature and has had numerous challenges since birth, he was on oxygen for the first few months of his life.?But he is a fighter!

J was born with profound deafness. At a very young age and after a lot of self education, his parents made the decision for him to have cochlear implants.?This would mean he would have no hearing at all without the implants but much better hearing with them.?As hearing parents with a d/Deaf child, they didn’t want to ‘remove him’ from the d/Deaf community or to think he would be ‘better’ if he could hear, they decided to go ahead on the basis that when he grew up he would be able to choose.?By ensuring he learnt to sign this provided him with access to both communities and opportunity for him to find his own identity.

I’ve known J his whole life, he has just turned 16 and is currently doing his GCSE’s (something we are all incredibly proud of).?Growing up has been hard for him, his development was slower in the first few years and picking up the cues and nuances of childhood and hormonal teenage years has been a challenge.?Throughout his life he has had such a strong (& extremely cheeky) personality, he plays football for both a hearing and a d/Deaf team and has try outs with the talent scouts for the England d/Deaf team in June.?He is helped at school by a Learning Support Assistant, worked at a local outdoor adventure centre during school holidays, plays pool, loves food & loves coca-cola (I am a bad influence on this last one).

J does not let his deafness hold him back he has always had a passion for sports, climbing, gaming, movies and socialising.?At his schools there have been sign language clubs and specific activities for inclusion such as a small group singing and signing songs at a local summer festival (made me cry).

I wanted to ask him a few questions:

Q What’s your favourite food?

A Burger with cheese and chips.

Q What’s the best thing about being d/Deaf?

A Linking my processor to my phone to listen to music without my parents knowing.

Q If you could ask people to do one thing different to help you, what would it be?

A Keep your mouth clear and face me so I can lip read.

Q What do you want to do after college?

A I’d like to do a job with esports or be a professional footballer.

Q Who’s your favourite ‘Aunty’?

A Only joking you don’t have to answer that one!!!

My learnings / reflections:

• A supportive family and social network is so important.
• d/Deaf people absolutely still have their own personality, treat them like individuals and include them.
• It can be frustrating growing up d/Deaf, there is a fine line between understanding / support & discipline required.
• Find a way to say yes… there may be restrictions or differences but the effort will be appreciated and worth it.
• Do your research - understand how best to communicate with d/Deaf people.
• Don’t let someone go on the Waltzers with their cochlear implants on - they fly really well when spun around.

Love you J, you’re going to do amazing things with your life!

NB. permission given by J and his parents for this article.