DEAD MONEY!!!!

Affirmation: Even with life’s challenges I welcome growth.

Michelle stormed out of the room and slammed her bedroom door behind her. Her frustration had reached its peak. She was fuming, tired of the constant arguments with her parents. As soon as she turned twenty-six, it was as if a switch was flipped within her parents. Now every little thing she did would rile them up. She felt like they could no longer live together.

In the latest episode of "Get on Michelle's Nerves," her mother took the dishes out of the sink and placed them on her bed. Her mother claimed it was Michelle’s day to wash and she had neglected her responsibilities. But Michelle thought that she gave her mother a heads up that she would be working late, so she would not be able to do the dishes on time. Her mother had no recollection of that conversation. Suffice it to say, Michelle was getting completely and utterly fed up with the arrangement. 

In the Caribbean, it is an accepted norm that children live with their parents well into adulthood, even past the age of thirty. Especially with the state of the economy, paying for rent is more difficult. Michelle thought about moving out numerous times but two words would always come to mind that stopped her dead in her tracks: DEAD MONEY! She was very frugal and she had good reason to be. She had grand plans for her future which would require a lot of money. She wanted to get a Ph.D. and buy a car and purchase her own home. It was manageable paying for insurance, daily expenses, attempting to save, and paying a "contribution" to the household. But her parents demanded a greater contribution month after month and on top of that the daily hostile energy they gave off towards her was wearing her down.  It was beginning to appear as though moving out was more and more a viable option. 

Michelle sat and thought about her predicament for a long time. In her internal monologue, her decision came down to mental health versus financial growth. Her relationship with her parents was deteriorating by the day but at least she could save the majority of her income after expenses. On the other hand, she could not stand to hear her parents’ voices anymore. Her agitation at the situation was also beginning to affect her relationships with her friends and boyfriend because she was always on edge or complaining about her situation at home.

She took the next two weeks to deliberate on a decision. Whatever she decided could not be taken lightly. In those two weeks, she spoke to friends who were renting. She found the feedback pretty interesting. More than a few of her friends talked about loving the freedom and that the new responsibilities of being independent made them more financially responsible. "Maybe it was one of those things you had to experience to understand," she thought.  

At the end of the two weeks, Michelle came to a decision. It was time to move out! She broke the news to her parents and typical of Caribbean parents, they were sad that their baby was leaving them. Michelle, though excited for the next stage, was notably fearful of the unknown. She wondered what would happen if she lost her job or forgot to turn off the stove and burn down the building. She allowed herself to go through the motions and eventually settled down. 

After moving in all her stuff and getting settled, Michelle reveled in her new space. Her roommate was a good friend of hers. She felt so much relief for not having to deal with her parents anymore and a giant weight was lifted off her shoulders. Today was the first day of the rest of her life. She was excited. 

Then like an avalanche rolling to the base of a mountain, the dream came tumbling down. Reality smacked Michelle on day one! Typically her dad would be up at 6 am for his early morning run and the noise he made would always wake Michelle up, annoying her to no end. However, the noise would get her up in time to get ready for work whereas she never needed to set an alarm. Now on her own, with no alarm set, she woke up late. Worse yet, she had no breakfast or lunch because her mom was not there as usual to prep food for the week. 

Michelle rushed to work and had to deal with the slight humiliation of reaching work late. She was a bit annoyed that she had to buy breakfast and lunch. Her annoyance soon turned to worry as she was spending money that was meant to be saved. After a long day, she slumped into bed. Curled up next to her were her regrets for leaving home. Things were different and she began doubting herself. "Living on your own is a responsibility," she thought but she was determined to make it work.

The next day she dragged herself out of bed and prepped lunch for the next few days. She even made breakfast for the next day and popped it in the fridge. Her roommate even joined in and gave her a variety of delicious and cheap recipes that she could use. Her roommate was a real pro at this it seemed. It was weirdly exciting for Michelle. Michelle never thought that she would be pumped to prep meals. "Adulting for you," she thought. Over the next few days, she enlisted the help of a financial advisor. She wanted to take her finances to the next level. She had to make up for the new exorbitant monthly expense that was rent. After an hour-long session, she realized how much of her decisions and goals were just "winging it."  Now, she felt more comfortable with what percentage of her money would go into savings and investments. She even chuckled at the fact that she finally understood what "diversified portfolio" meant. 

After her first month, once the rent money left her account, Michelle came to a realization. She needed to make more money!  She pulled out her trusty portable whiteboard and began listing all the activities that could potentially bring in more income. Her top two choices were a better-paid position at work and copywriting jobs as a side hustle. There was a time while in college when she did copywriting work for a company. She made enough money to fund her party-goer lifestyle so she figured why not reignite that relationship. 

The next day she was a woman on a mission. She spoke to her manager about available positions and applied to the two that seemed more feasible for her to get. She also emailed the company that she did the copywriting work for to see if they have any work for her. After some interviews and waiting a week, Michelle was bummed to learn that she did not get any of the two jobs she applied for at her current employer. But on the bright side, she got useful feedback from her boss on managerial courses she could take to make her more likely to get a higher position when one became available. Her manager also promised to give her a shining recommendation once she had done the courses.

There was some good news. The company she did copywriting work for in college eventually got back to her. They were doing a major overhaul for a financial company's website and they needed persons to help re-do blogs and general information on the site. They wanted to enlist her for the project. The pay was not grand but it was additional income! 

Michelle woke up one Saturday to see a message from her mom inviting her over for lunch. She had not seen her parents in many weeks and she felt excited to update them on everything that was going on. She arrived for lunch and visiting her parents was like nothing she had experienced before. They were chatting as though they were old friends. She felt compelled to share with them in ways she would not have when she lived with them. Typically she'd answer with "I'm fine" or "Things are going OK" but she found herself giving the play-by-play with all her exciting new experiences. The best part was they sent her off with bags full of groceries. She would definitely be visiting often. 

***

Moving on to the next stage in your life can be intimidating. You won't always know what will occur. Often, a new chapter of life will bring on experiences and growth that you could not imagine. Sometimes you just need to make the dive and learn from the splash. While the outcome is impossible to know, when taking a risk like moving out on your own, weigh the pros and cons and seek advice from those who have done it successfully. 

Please let me know what you think of this sneak peek into my second book The Millennial Experience: 30 Stories of Hope, Growth, and Success.

Also, if you love what you read feel free to pre-order your copy here: https://rebityouth.com/preorder-now/