The Day We Lost 3000 Voices Forever

Forever Silenced

9/11

It has been 21 years.

21 years ago, extremists?hijacked four United States passenger aircraft?and drove them into oblivion, in order to kill as many Americans as possible.

We call it 9/11.

Now, I am no expert on religious fanaticism, and I am very often loth to venture into any form of political realm whatsoever, but I ask you to put your political leanings and conspiracy theories aside for just a moment, restore your seat back to its full upright position, and remember with me.

I am going to talk about those whose voices were forever lost.

I am not all laughs and silliness.?I am full of depth, and 9/11 tapped into that.

I am sure, like most people, we all know where we were during the following:

• When?JFK was assassinated
• When?man landed on the moon
• When?Reagan was shot
• When?Princess Diana died
• When?Michael Jackson died
• When?Uvalde happened

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If you are like me, then your world stopped.?And I know you remember the day clearly as I do.

I remember precisely where I was that day, and I will remember it until I am old and grey.?It is something that I hold very tenderly and somberly in my heart as one of the worst wounds I have ever taken, and one of the worst burdens I have ever experienced weighing upon my spirit.

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Telling my Son

For the very first time on the morning of 9/11 this year, I showed my 6-year-old son footage of airplanes being deliberately flown into the?World Trade Center.?I wept as I told him that all the people on board?American Airlines Flight 11?instantly died, as well as anyone in the North Tower who was in the impact zone.

I wept later as we saw the second plane,?United Airlines Flight 175, smash into the South Tower.?I wept later with the third plane,?American Airlines Flight 77, disappearing like a missile into the Pentagon.?I wept again, convulsively, as I showed him pictures of a giant crater in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, where the heroes and victims of?United Airline Flight 93?will forever rest.?And I wept yet again as I showed him footage of the south tower, and then the north tower, collapsing.

Apparently I cry a lot.

Why did I weep??I wept because, 21 years later, I am now a parent of two small children.?And the thought of losing either one or both of them in such tragedy terrifies me.?9/11 was all about terror.?Conversely, the thought of my children losing one or both of their parents in such tragedy terrifies me.??More than 3000 children?lost a parent on 9/11.??8 children?were killed: five on American Flight 77, and three on United Airlines Flight 175.

There is solace in grief.?Weeping eventually runs its course.?Wells run dry.?But we all need to grieve: there are heart issues when you do not grieve.?In fact,?Dr. Dan Allender?once said, “All addiction is failure to grieve.”?We?must?grieve, or we will not learn a thing.

So: I grieved this past Sunday, for the 22nd time, but in a way wholly new and fresh. And understand me when I say that it was good.?I needed to reflect.?I am a parent.?And I love my children.?I never want a 9/11 to happen to them.?The most I ever want to fear for them is a school shooting; and I do not even want to fear that.

I want my children to be safe, in such an unsafe world.

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Whisper

I used to be a singer.??11 years ago I partnered with a friend to create and produce a song called?Whisper.?I am going to finish typing soon, and just let you marinate in this song.?This is a work that was near and dear to my heart because, on 9/11, I was going through a very self-absorbed and selfish time of my life, and so the full weight of it was somewhat lost on me.?However, 5 years afterwards, the full reality of it crippled me, and I wrote a poem which would eventually take life in the form of this song.

It is 9 minutes and 11 seconds long.?And coincidentally, it turned out to be the 11th song on my 9th collection of musical works.

I leave you with this: it is good and healthy to reflect, and not forget.?This is my song,?Whisper.?I have pasted the lyrics below, and I have embedded the song from my SoundCloud account.

In this song you will hear several audio samples that are actually taken from the day itself.?In the end, you will hear the lonely unanswered plea from the radio tower in Cleveland trying to raise United 93.?And at the very end, you will hear the haunting firefighter “PASS device” – a locator beacon - that was sounding in droves from the smoldering heap of the fallen towers – attached to 343 valiant heroes whose voices would never be heard again.

Listen if you dare.?And grieve.?And always remember.?And never forget.

We use our voices.?That is our job.?But do you dare hear the?Whisper?of voices that will never be heard again?

• Fathers that would never use their voices to tell a bedtime story
• Mothers that would never use their voices to sing to their newborns
• Children whose voices would never crack and change and grow to adulthood

"We are breathing the dead, taking them into our lungs as living we had taken them into our arms.”?– Hettie Jones, New York City poet

Song of silence, teal sky

Wisps in stratus gliding by

Bastions steady guard the shore

Proud defense ‘gainst woe and war

Gleam ye faintly through the night, now

Mirror sun with proud delight!

Tridents anchored, vigil landing

How you define our sense of standing

Tide of time rolls endless toward

Two twin sentinels fate ignored

Souls in progress, life ongoing

Business, schedules, comfort knowing

Meetings planned & days arranged

8:46…life is changed

Guided missile, brazen foe

Descending upon souls below

Uninclinéd victim’s call

Goes unanswered in the ball

Of fire and hate and roaring noise:

Shattered ego, shaken poise

Can you hear the whisper overwhelmed by thunder

O the voices calling from the soil

Dare I feel this tremor??Will this leave me never?

Can the world be evermore the same?

Cacophony laden, bellowing gust

Seam rips silence, scattering rust

Sparks and showers, Beams and clutter

Gasping sounds of endless mutter

Wailing sirens, mirth cut short

Haunting scream of death’s retort

Blackened fumes go spiraling up

Widened eyes taste anger’s cup

Ever upward, steel unbending

To the point of scarréd rending

Debris aloft, splinters flying

Life and matters fall with crying

Quiet strife of woe and war has

Met most unwelcome on this shore

Were we sleeping, were we faint?

Plunging eagle, faltering saint

Tolls go meanwhile counting higher

Ebbing struggle through muck and mire

Life familiar before 8:46

What was added to the mix

Was it ego, was it might

Our chests’ beat heard far through night?

Plans were hatched with venom much

Snaking through our mental clutch

Unseen foes crept through our gate

And plunged their missiles steered by hate

One stands weeping, brother down

Soon to meet him on the ground

Personal whistles sound motionless heroes

343 to 0

When I hear the sirens, fading into silence

Give me room to think and breathe and be

O to shake the sadness, to undo this madness

But the whispers haunt me to this day

Into our ribs, into our flesh

Holding ransom our precious breath

Can it be they found a way

Into our guts that vile day

O great dilemna mine!

O massive predicament mine!

How miniscule your minutae!

Can you hear the whisper overwhelmed by thunder

O the voices calling from the soil

Dare I feel this tremor??Will this leave me never?

Can the world be evermore the same?

There is ash in my breath, breathing souls, tasting death

Could this happen any other way?

When this night has ended, can we say we’ve mended

For our heroes all have sailed away

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Remember.?All gave some.?Some gave all.

Remember.

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YOU HAVE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE END, AND I SALUTE YOU.

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Joshua Alexander

The Voices In My Head Blog

[email protected]???[email protected]

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