THE DAY MY WORLD STOOD STILL

This was a beautifully story written by a new friend of ours. It details out how David Little and his family lost their daughter and what the family has gone through, who his daughter was and how God has been involved in their life through out this event. It is a long read but worth the time. It is not just about her tragic death but about her beautiful life and how she impacted those around her in her short time on earth.

6 July 2019

Hard to believe it has been four calendar months or seventeen and a half weeks today without daddy’s baby girl. The baby of three. Our little caboose. The sixth day of the month will never be the same. Saturday afternoons will never be the same as well as many other special dates and holidays. Yes, it is hard. Not going to sugar coat it. Read further if you feel led to, but warning it is a long read, but from my heart.

About a week prior to 6 July, I was getting ready for work one morning and paused to talk with Pattie about something on my mind. An ominous feeling for some reason. I said, you know, Layton has just graduated college and going to grad school overseas and has job lined up next fall. Patton has been healthy and able to run track this year (so far) and he is graduating a semester early in December and looking at graduate schools. Lake had just finished high school with many accolades and scholarships and preparing to head to college soon. They all three had been relatively good kids and easy teenagers to raise. Not perfect, but they were certainly not difficult kids.

We were about to become official empty nesters. I said to Pattie “..we have been blessed with some really good kids!” Next, I told her with some hesitance, I felt that we were about to be tested. “God is about to test us!” Something bad was about to happen. I had no idea what at that moment. An illness, accident, heart attack nor to whom in the family, but something was coming. A couple of days after Lake’s accident, I felt compelled to call and speak with our recently former pastor Chip Stevens about this premonition of sorts. He told me that he felt this was God preparing me and us for what was coming. Indeed He was...

Fortunately, for our family, we had all been under the same roof for the last couple of months of Lake’s life following Layton’s college graduation from MSU and Patton being home every other week for the summer during his nursing externship in Jackson. God’s hand was certainly in this by allowing us and our kids to enjoy some quality time together prior to what was to come. Just another stitch in His master plan.

Lake carried a planning calendar and it stayed full of various activities and commitments. In May, Lake had to turn down a scholarship opportunity to spend the summer flying at Purdue via the Civil Air Patrol (CAP) due to prior commitments; however, the CAP was gracious and had allowed her to fly a lot over the past several weeks having received a flying scholarship for several flight hours in lieu of Purdue.

The night before Lake had flown all around over Lowndes/Noxubee County. I had been following her on the Life360 app that evening. When she came in, I asked her how it went. She said, “..it was great and I JUST LOVE IT!” She sat down in my lap as she did many times and let me hold her and talked about her flying passion among other things. She was never too big for daddy’s lap!

The day Lake went Home. 6 July began as just a normal Saturday morning around the Little house. It was about 8:15am and I had been on my usual early Saturday morning walk on campus and I was driving back home. As I was about to turn into our neighborhood, I saw Lake driving out toward me. I flashed my headlights at her, we both waved, and she continued down the road. I started to call her to see where she was heading, as she was never an early morning person, particularly on Saturday. I resisted the desire to call, as I did not want to distract her while driving. I hate I missed seeing her personally that morning!

Once at home, I asked Pattie where Lake was heading so early and she said to the airport to work on her flight plan and later flying to Oxford for another solo cross-country flight. Pattie had packed her a lunch. Lake had recently flown several solo flights including as far away as Hattiesburg and Gulfport the Wednesday prior. I was honestly more nervous for her to drive her car to Hattiesburg than fly the plane. She was scheduled to take her check-ride in Hattiesburg on 10 July when she was to have been certified as a licensed pilot.

We all went on about our normal Saturday. I texted her late that morning asking why she was still at GTR and she responded, “Working on flight plan.” She was required to do this manually. Pattie and I went shopping for some dorm items for Lake’s dorm room. I saw that the weather was about to be stormy here in Starkville and texted Lake mentioning that she may not need to fly today. She did not respond and appeared to be on the runway at that time according to Life360. I later saw that she went up north toward West Point and around the weather cell and into clear weather toward Oxford. Lake was a step ahead of me and aware of the afternoon rain shower.

We had plans to have a family steak dinner that evening upon Lake’s return. Without a doubt in my mind, God put us all together in our den on that fateful Saturday afternoon. He knew what was coming! He knew all along. Psalm 139:16 “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Yet another stitch.

Pattie, Layton, Patton and I were all just visiting in the den. That is a rare occasion at their ages and busy schedules. We were talking about maybe going to watch a matinee movie while waiting on Lake to return home.

I had continued to follow her on Life360. I did not normally do that, but something compelled me to follow her that past two days while she was flying. I saw that Lake stopped moving at 3:10pm and continued to follow her. Pattie felt sick about then and she went to lie down for a little while. Mother’s intuition I suspect. I thought the Life360 app may have been stuck or not updating and was not a real concern at the time. It showed her to be in a neighborhood on Turnberry Court for a while. Subsequently the app updated to the Ole Miss golf course.

My gut told me something was not right. As time went on, I Googled the area and Pattie came back to the den and I mentioned it to her asking if Lake had plans to visit anyone while over in Oxford. We both thought this was odd, but neither of us were thinking a crash. That thought really never entered our minds, but it certainly must have subconsciously for me to be checking like I was.

Then the call! The call no parent wants to receive. Our family friend who is also a pilot and fellow CAP member, Trey Breckenridge was calling to let us know there had been a plane crash involving Lake. I stood up and the entire family stared listening intently knowing something bad had happened. Trey was on family vacation in New York and trying to provide any information he could pass along.

We immediately loaded up taking two vehicles, the boys in one and us in another as we were anticipating a lengthy hospital stay being optimistic at that time. We did not know exactly where we were heading as the news was still evolving. We knew she was being airlifted to a trauma care hospital. First, we were told UMMC-Jackson, next it was either Oxford or Region One Medical Center in Memphis. We just headed north toward Memphis. I KNEW IT WAS BAD. Just from my line of work, I know what a trauma airlift means and The Med as well. Lake and I had talked of how unforgiving airplanes are and she recognized the dangers involved. She had always been fearless! Even saying, “..when it’s my time, it’s my time!”

I made a couple of quick calls and specifically recall making one to friend Tom Roberson of the Starkville PD telling him what had happened and asking him to contact MHP for my drive toward Memphis. I later learned that Lake’s SA classmates began to gather at his home for a prayer vigil. I was praying silently as we drove away trying to be strong and maintain composure. Pattie was on the back seat frantically calling family and prayer warriors from our Sunday School class and texting some others. I had texted my brothers on the way out of the driveway in a group text. We drove as fast as we could over the next two hours. My phone was blowing up, but I could not talk and drive at 90mph+. Pattie continued to cry and pray aloud as we drove. About half way to Memphis, we learned from another call that the crash involved a fire. We had been getting very limited information; however, I heard the loss in the tone of Trey’s voice. In my heart, I knew what lie ahead. God was again preparing us. It all seemed so surreal.

When we attempted to enter the hospital, there was a security checkpoint for guns, etc. which delayed our entry. I emphatically told them who we were and what had happened and someone motioned us around to another checkpoint after asking “are y’all the Littles?’ I knew that was not a good sign either. They checked us in and said to wait there for the Chaplains to come escort us. I knew in my heart what was coming, but could not tell Pattie although I think she knew too. God was continuing to prepare us if you can be prepared. Pattie was asking was this protocol and why the Chaplains and not doctors?

Several family members and friends had arrived to the ER prior to us arriving. Layton and Patton had not yet arrived and we were waiting on them for a few minutes. The Chaplains were going to take us to a holding room with the friends and family, but I said NO! I knew the news that the doctors were about to come deliver and wanted just our immediate family to be in there for this news.

Fortunately, God’s plans are always perfect and He made sure that Lake’s Youth Minister Neil Tullos and his wife Amanda were there just as we received the news of Lake’s passing. Both of them had been a huge part of Lake’s life for the past five years. They had left a wedding in Oxford when they heard the news. The Tulloses were right where they were supposed to be! Another stitch woven into his perfect plan. We were all stunned, wailing and praying together. God was holding us up and He continued to do so in the days and weeks ahead.

Shortly thereafter, we joined our extended family and friends in another room and shared the sad news. It just did not seem real at all. It was like a bad dream! It was surreal and that feeling continued as the fog of grief rolled in as well. We all hugged and cried and prayed as more friends arrived. After an hour or so, I said, its late, we need to head back to Starkville to make plans.

Pattie’s sister April drove our now family of four back to Starkville. I had said we would talk about “plans” on the way home. I was wrong. It was the longest and quietest ride home in my entire life. The tragic news was now all over social media and news outlets. The reality was starting to sink in on that long ride home. We were all in shock. I am not sure we slept much if any that evening. The days and weeks ahead are all still a blur for me. Grief fog is very real!

One minute we are buying dorm furnishings and next we are picking out caskets. How could this be? Lake was so full of life and dreams. She had just graduated high school seven weeks prior. She had enlisted in the Mississippi Air National Guard just three weeks prior. She had received her first drill check today and never got to see it. She was to finish her pilot’s license in a few days. Lake was to represent Starkville in the state Miss Hospitality pageant in two weeks. She was start move into the dorm and start college in August.

This cannot be! Lake has too much on earth left to do God!! What about my dreams for her God? I wanted to see her fulfill her dreams! I wanted to see her graduate basic training, finish college, fly that C-17, fall in love and one-day walk her down the aisle, and have a family of her own, just to name a few. Kids are supposed to bury their parents! Not the other way around! God answered our prayers and He said no. This was not His plan. Lake’s work here on earth was complete. Selfishly, we never want to give up a child. If I could have traded places, I would have in a minute and still would. That is not possible.

What about me and mom and Layton and Patton left on earth to miss her with every part of our being? It is not just a passing thought. IT’S ALL THE TIME. From the moment I wake up, all during the day and then trying to go to sleep. Many sleepless nights. Many nights going to bed early hoping to sleep and not think about anything. Lake is in my every thought. Meltdowns are common, but mostly when I am alone. I’ve been somewhat distant with friends and family, but there are no rules or timelines for grieving. We all do it differently and it takes us where it takes us moment by moment for as long as it takes. Grief is a process and as someone who experienced this same type loss about 35 years ago told us, “..You can’t go over it or around it, you must go through it to come out the other side..: Mrs. Harper was right. We will get to the other side when its time.

We respond to the question of “how are you doing?” with “ok” or “hanging in there” knowing no one really wants to hear the truth. God has carried us and He continues to carry us each day. Yes, it has been four months now. I may get distracted for a bit, but it always comes back to Lake and missing her and sharing our love with her and receiving hers. In this short time, I have learned that you NEVER get over the loss of a child. That is not the natural order of things. It’s sad club that Pattie and I now belong too and no parent wants to join. I would not wish this on any parent. It is my hope that it may not be as “sharp” of a pain as time goes along, but the pain will never go away. I do know that much with certainty.

I had no idea that Friday night would be my last time to hold her, hear her sweet voice, her laugh and see her beautiful smile. Had I known, I would have held her a little longer and a little tighter. I will forever treasure this memory. Lake and I had such a wonderful father/daughter relationship. She was a true daddy’s girl without any doubt and she’d tell anyone! Lake shared my sense of humor and there were times we would just look at each other and laugh as if we could read each other’s mind. Fortunately, for her she looked like a younger version of her mother. She was so bubbly and she would light up any room she entered. People were drawn to her huge personality. She was a born leader and a doer. She loved her Lord and Savior and NEVER afraid to take a chance or fear of failure. She pushed herself and encouraged others to do the same. She wanted to do something BIG! She felt her older brothers had set the bar high and she did not want to disappoint and she did not! She wanted to leave a footprint on this earth and I truly believe that she did. She was my heart! She always will be. She was an old soul and at times wise beyond her years, particularly when it came to knowing her career path plans.

From the time she was a little girl and until she went Home, she would always draw on my hand “I and a heart shape U!” and then hold my hand and tell me always in my heart. Well, she definitely is in my heart for sure. It was as if she knew her time was limited, but I know she did not. I miss holding her hand while driving around. She ALWAYS held my hand while riding with me and listening to K-LOVE. She even held my hand crossing a parking lot last spring. How many teenagers would do that? Pattie and I both received a very nice card around her graduation time. The cards were so nice and we both cherish her thoughts shared with each of us.

Ms. Cheryl who works at the FBO at GTR Airport had gotten to know Lake over the past couple of years. Lake had encouraged her during her battle with cancer and was so happy when she returned to work. Ms. Cheryl had asked Lake why a pretty girl like her did not (never had) have a boyfriend. Ms. Cheryl shared with me Lake’s response to her during the visitation and it made me smile. She said, “I have not found anyone that treats me a good as my daddy!” I thought to myself, WOW!

The most important thing of all is that I know unequivocally that Elizabeth Lake Little was a child of God. She was saved and her name was written in the Book of Life. We found her testimony bullet point sheet last weekend. This is yet another treasure for us. Another God wink! Lake was not perfect as none of us are; however, I know that she is now with the only Father that loves her more than me and that is hard to imagine, but true. He loves us all that much. He sacrificed His only Son for each of us. Think about that. Its difficult to imagine that kind of love and grace as a parent because we are all so unworthy. With God’s help and the His Spirit’s guidance, I will continue to push forward everyday as Lake would want me to do. I will try to be a better person each day and to live like Lake and to always try to honor her memory.

While I may never know or understand this side of Heaven, why He called her Home at such a young age? We have His promise and I will see my precious Lake again one day. Her earthly work was done! Life truly is just a vapor! What is 18 years or 80 years when compared to eternity? Each day is one day closer too! Just like Lake told her good friend Smith while watching the sunset on 4 July (two days prior to going Home) on the river and commented that she thought Heaven would look like that sunset and that she was not afraid.

Back in 2000, the doctors told Pattie and I that we were done having kids and we thought we would just have the two boys. We were ok with that as they were a handful at 15 months apart. Needless to say, the doctor was wrong. About three months later, we were informed that Pattie was expecting a baby. We later learned we were having a baby girl! I had always wanted a little girl and now our family would be complete. Lake was never ours to keep. He shared her with us! She was God’s gift and only loaned her to us for 18 ? years to raise and love. We were blessed beyond measure to have shared our love with her and received her love. We have many great memories of her to cherish for many years to come.

I am far from perfect and falter all the time in this fallen world; however, I do know that the best gift a parent can give their children is to teach them about God and be sure that they know and love God and they are saved. There is no better gift or responsibility placed upon anyone! Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

The outpouring of love and support has been truly amazing and humbling! God is good all the time. I cannot thank our family and friends from all over, our church family, the Starkville community, co-workers, the military and many others from across the nation who have reached out for all of your prayers and encouragement over the past few months. It is truly appreciated by us all! There were some Angels on earth that really stepped up to help carry us. God Bless each one of you!

Everyone is dealing with “something,” trust me. We may not know what, but everyone is dealing with something difficult in their lives and we just may not be aware so be kind to everyone. And if they are not dealing with something at this moment, they will be at some point in their lives. We will all experience our hills and valleys, it’s how we respond that matters. Everyone will be tested.

We all have our plans. We like to “think” we are in control, but we are fooling ourselves. He is in complete and ultimate control of all and His plan is perfect! Each and every stitch is perfection. We just have to wait until all of His stitches have been woven together and one day we will see His completed Masterpiece! Now I look for those occasional God winks reminding me that He is taking great care of my baby girl. Her Father and our Father now has her.

This is not about a pity party, Lord knows I have had my share of those. But for Him, I would be curled up in a corner in a fetal position or in a hole hiding. But for God’s grace! I just felt led to share some of my bottled up thoughts with my family and friends. It has helped me just getting my thoughts together. Something that has been difficult over the past four months. I can hear Lake telling me “come on daddy, you can do it!” Just like when I would try to run with her.

Please never be afraid to mention her name to us or tell Lake stories. We love and want to hear them. It does not make us sad or remind us she is no longer with us. We will never forget that. It does help us in knowing that others have not forgotten her.

One blessing for Pattie and I is that we don’t have any regrets when it comes to Lake. She knew how much we loved her and we told her daily. We allowed her to follow her dream and she went Home doing what she loved so much, flying in the clouds!

ALWAYS IN MY HEART!

#LiveLikeLake

#FlyHighLakeLittle

I Thessalonians 4:16-18

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.

Listen to “Fearless” by Jasmine Murray. This was Lake to the tee!!

Also, “In Christ Alone” -Live Version by Passion. Helps to sustain me.