A Day In the Life of a Well Intentioned Working Parent

Wake up, already? OK. Need to get up. It does matter. Put pants on. Step down stairs. Put wood in fire. Coffee. Why does coffee take so long? Wake up computer. Scan email. What? You're awake? Wash hands. Sure I'll make breakfast for you. Re-check email, clean kitchen Covid-19 clean. Sit back down. Start doing work. Need more coffee. Pick up colleague’s call. Get interrupted by kids for clothing, food, arguments or boredom. Tell the kids they need to get back to their school work. Realize colleague was on phone the entire time. Sorry. Back to work. Did my coffee really just spill on my work journal? 

Breathe. What did you say? Hold on. OK, I'll be right there. Why are you crying? I know it's hard. Leave your brother alone! What? You're handing this in? 9/10 answers were wrong. How can you think that you can just take the 1st answer and copy it 9 times?!? 

Breathe. Coffee. Wait. Someone’s still asleep. Run upstairs. Knock nicely? You've got to wake up.....“I hate you Mom leave me alone, what does it matter, you don’t understand me!" 

Breathe. Put load of clothes in the wash. Decide to take shower later. Back to work pretending that video-cam doesn't work on my WebX. What? OK. Come here so I can help you. Fractions? I hate fractions. Look up how to multiply fractions on Google. Sigh, realizing I still don’t get it. Eventually I remember. Explain it. Get yelled at “That’s not how we were taught to do it! You’re messing me up”. Tears. 

Breathe. What? Yes I am here, I must have been on mute. Can you just repeat the question?...you broke up. I hate lying. Need to pay attention. Focus. Are we done yet? Only 11am? Would wine right now be bad? Watch State’s debrief and get upset about how our country can’t get over ourselves to actually work together to beat this thing. 

Breathe. Receive Covid-19 Alert. Fact check. Realize that I missed my next conference call. Attempt to dial in 20 minutes late with an excuse that I had trouble logging in. Stupid idea. Who doesn’t know that’s BS?

Breathe. Everyone else is in the same situation I’m in. Synchronize key points with boss’ boss combining timed mute button with speaking loudly to drown out kids yelling at each other and dog barking at UPS delivery in the background. What? Of course I am focused. Are you kidding me? I'll have it done by morning. End call. Crap I need to pee. What? Lunchtime? What do you mean you didn't finish your school work? What have you been doing? Wash hands. Eat lunch. Yes. You need to eat healthy. No, you can’t just eat cereal. Ok fine. Have cereal. No, you can’t play video games. Get off your phone. Really? You’re going to give me that look? Really? Staring contest…. Overreact with examples of everyone failing out of school and being homeless drug addicts. Realize that everyone’s as frazzled and confused as me are and force group hugs with tickles. Even the pouter smiles at the end. Reaffirm confidence. You are all amazing and all the most incredible boys I know. Yes it’s possible. You ARE! You know I just want the best for you. Let’s go over those fractions one more time. Can someone take out the dog? Wash your hands! OK, I just need a minute to sit down to write that proposal. What? OK. Just one minute. I'll be right there. Just one more min.. What? You're hungry? Ok. Wash hands. I can make you a PBJ. No crusts. Got It. OK. Clean up--Covid-19 Clean. Go back to make a PBJ for myself. Wash hands. Need to Focus. Proposal. Oh crap! COVID19 alert! What to do? Should we go to the store? No. Work. Focus. Join Meeting while multi-task ordering more TP and peanut butter on-line. Check mute button. Yell at boys to turn off the TV and go outside to play. Join next meeting. Why am I so tired? More tears. “I‘m hungry.” Again? Holy guacamole! It's 6:30. Open Freezer. What can I make? Chicken, leftover veggies, pasta, applesauce. Golden. Cook. Tell kids to take showers. Set Table. Time for dinner! Last to sit down. 

Watch my family laughing and giggling about fart jokes and silly things they heard on the internet as they enjoy the present. Glorious. Breathe.

Crap! The laundry. Put clothes in dryer. Fall asleep half on bed as it rolls. I’ll just take a shower tomorrow and maybe I'll be more productive.