Confessions of a Property Psychologist—for anyone searching for a new home—and some light relief...

Let's Get Real…About Real Estate

If you think Property Psychologists spend their time asking houses to lie on the sofa and talk about their problems, then boy, have I got a zinger for you!?

Have you heard of buying a home mortgage-free without stress??

Nope, neither have I, but hey, if gorging on property porn and slow-motion montages of homes that are way out of your price reach is your thing, and like moi, you are set to slog on with your search for a home in the New Year, it can be hard to know where to begin.?

Over the past couple of Covid-laced years, we've seen property prices double and heard talk of property markets crashing. We've had the?dodgy interest rate controversy and an explosive rate increase. Then there were the spike in energy prices, a skyrocketing price of oil, and supply chain problems. Not to mention Russia's war with Ukraine, excessive government spending, a nationwide rental crisis and exploding government debt.

Added to all this; we watched as the economy nosedived into a 40-year inflation high, with the cost of living rising faster than a?Bugatti?Veyron 16.4 Super Sport.Further, the international influx was still way lower than where it was (but is hopefully set to soar due to relaxed Visa rules for Chinese students). And who can forget that fat wallop of buyer's remorse thanks to the post-Covid fetish for owning bricks and mortar no matter the cost. On top of all that, we had to figure out what to get our Labradoodles for Christmas.

All of this adds up to what the more circumspect experts call a state of market "correction."

But there's no rest for the wicked, and for those who need new digs, the holiday break was not a time to stop obsessing about property—quite the opposite. Real Estate addiction is still an addiction, regardless of the time of year, right? The search continues, only now, our soberly slashed budgets have given us less to spend, and, in many cases, the location has been revised, and the net flung wider to more affordable areas.

Was I the only frustrated wannabe spending my Christmas break peeking sneaky checks on realestate.com between bites of roast lamb and plum pudding? The only one finding innocent comments about real estate became a radioactive nuclear subject that everyone else got sick of hearing about? The only one willing to put myself at the epicentre of every potential opportunity, sampling different and potential addresses by zipping in and out of their perfect streets morning, noon and night to "feel" the vibe of the neighbours, shops, cafes and community spirit?

Surely I was not the only one pretending that I lived there and "stepping" out the trek from "home" to work and school drop off and back four times a day? Peering through fences and windows of "For Sale" homes, living vicariously through other people's lives and wondering "who" our family would be if we lived there and how we would be different.

And look, hours and hours of pounding the pavement and pining for the perfect match is par for the course when you're trying to find the ultimate new home. More time spent online stalking, I mean 'searching' to figure out who owns the home you believe is?rightfully yours,?and then trawling through archives to find out about them is just the norm, right? Isn't it?

Sometimes it can be hard to know where reality ends, and fantasy begins. Sigh.

Why is this so?

Four words: Background. Memories. Expectations. Experience.

The home packs a whopping psychological sucker punch: it anchors us, validates us and symbolises all sorts of subconscious thoughts beneath the surface. It shows the world who we are or who we?think?we are and how far we've come in life. It represents our status our self-image, for many, is presented in the form of a trophy to show we've "made it".

The fixation builds when you start to realise the home you're looking for doesn't, ahem, actually exist, at least not in your lusted-after location and not in your price bracket. Accepting that can be hard, especially when the bad news is delivered via the same gadgets that are wielded to our bodies and used to navigate the minutiae of our daily lives, from shopping lists to reminders about Saturday chores.

It is nothing short of incredible what an endless stream of digital dream-destroying notifications can do for your psyche.

Psychology—the shining star at the epicentre

Enter Psychology?the scientific study of human behaviour and mind, exploring processes of perception, personality cognition, emotion, and intelligence.?When it comes to buying a home, part of psychology is understanding the human moments behind the process. When you look at all the rational decisions you're meant to make in choosing the right home and find you "can't even think straight", the reason is that your brain is flooded with cortisol gurgling from the pre-frontal cortex at the front part of the brain. This is the part of the brain involved with emotion and reward, which helps understand governance or, as I like to think of them, the 'R' words: Rules, Risk and Regulations.

It also works like a carrot-and-stick reward system. It can result in irregular and unhealthy behaviours in the face of uncertainty—making impulsive decisions is one! Uncertainty impairs our ability to prepare. This creates anxiety which leads to tension and unpredictable potential threats that may take place in the future. We know this because we read about it in?Neurology For Dummies.

Let's get philosophical.

A lot is going on when we are getting ready to buy a home as such; It makes sense to pay attention to what's happening, not just in our external world but on the inside. Cue physiology—the study of all the physical and chemical processes that occur in organisms. This is a real thing when it comes to property, didn't you know? The limbic system is the part of the brain involved in the behavioural and emotional responses to reveal what you think.?

Go back in time to consider the sensations you experience when inspecting a property—especially when you find something you think you could love. All those physical and chemical processes in your body result in how you "feel" when you first enter the property—the light-headedness, butterflies and the inability to breathlessly mumble anything but "Oh My God!"

The ego, combined with the natural human tendency to impress, has a lot to answer for when it comes to house-hunting. All those emotions that drive the search are what make physiology relevant. And look, maybe all those holiday-filled hours of watching Netflix's "Global Event" featuring the doe-eyed Duchess of H & M emote have rubbed off on me because I know that ego and narcissism are a big part of this. Does anyone else fixate on how the house "looks" instead of how it feels? Or fall into the trap of being overly concerned with how it will appear to others? Cue the tendency to impress.

Things get tricky when we move to a new home. Psychologically, our self-image is split: part of us aligns with the new person we are transitioning to in the new space, and another chooses to stay where we are. This jerky one-step forward, two-step back movement divvies up the distribution of power fuel and makes for challenging times. Once in the new home, many find that two worlds collide while the old persona clings onto the BNH (before the new home) and the new persona adapts to life ANH (after the new home)— It's like driving with one foot on the brake.

Physiology (fizzy-ology) is also what happens when you drink too much fizzy drink.

The 'logic' in all this requires such mental contortions that I need a lie-down. If, like me, you find that the financial implications of the last couple of years' roller coaster ride mean you're ready for a spell on Hayman Island with only your laptop and an oversized tub of Tiramisu, then go ahead enjoy yourself. If that's not viable, then a question for you—as we welcome a new year in a new home, who will you take forward into 2023, the old or the new you?

Call in the experts.

If months and months of searching for a property have left you with buyer fatigue, then come join me! I am constantly exploring the most livable nooks through the best neighbourhoods of Sydney and strive to be a resource for non-toxic and environmentally friendly living. Follow along on Instagram, sign up for my newsletter, or take a peek at my blog to discover how using a professional buyers agent can prevent a further outbreak of fatigue.