The day I resigned

After 5 years at EssenceMediacom, on a sunny Tuesday morning, I resigned as the Managing Partner. Despite having known for a few weeks that this day was coming, I found my hands still shaking as I hit the send button.

For starters, I never actually anticipated that I would stay at Mediacom as long as I did :-) My usual tenure at a job was two to three years. I often found that 2-3 years was often the sweet spot: enough time to accomplish what I came to do and enough time to decide whether there was enough space for me to grow, in the organization.

This wasn't the first time I was resigning from an advertising agency. The first time, I had known for a couple of months that I was miserable at work. Not because I hated what I did, but because I couldn't stand the client. At the time, I was the only strategist at the agency which meant I got to work across multiple clients and industries. Our biggest client (whose retainer was the reason we could afford salaries), also happened to be the most demanding and difficult client I had ever come across. As a result, they and most of the people who worked for them walked, talked, and treated everyone like we were created and put on earth, to do the work they wanted us to do. They were never outrightly rude, just inwardly entitled. I began to feel like my brain belonged to them, and independence of thought, necessary for me to feel human and worthy, began to saunter away. It got so bad that at some point I banned anyone in my personal life from buying any drinks from the specific brand/company. But it was on Saturday afternoon; after I had spent 7 hours on my feet presenting their annual strategy to them, and hearing critique after critique after critique, that I cracked. T had come to pick me up after the Saturday workshop and immediately I got into the car - I wept. Big ugly mucus-heavy weeping. I told myself this was it. I needed to get off the account immediately. I didn't like the way it made me feel. So on Monday morning I went to my boss and asked to be moved to another account which - as anticipated was not going to be possible.

"They pay for your time Marion, and they pay a lot for your time. We can't get someone else. It has to be you."

I asked if I could perhaps get an assistant/someone to work with, that way, I could still work on the brand but also have another account to bring me joy and allow me to find some strength to keep pushing on.

"No Marion. We don't want to risk you giving less attention to this client. You know they're sensitive about these things."

I begged. And begged. Nothing. I decided to go talk to my boss's boss, who listened to me and affirmed that he fully understood where I was coming from. "Give me a week and I will come back to you with a solution."

He did come back in a week's time. But his solution was a pay rise.

So I resigned.

You see, my issue had never been the pay, I was content with what I had. It was the fact that my soul felt squeezed under a dark cloud whenever I had to work on this account. And no amount of money could make me stay.

The second resignation experience that stands out for me is when I left Airtel. To date, it was probably the nicest I've ever been treated even after resigning. My boss called me in, confirmed that he knew the resignation was coming, and asked that I give him a few days to allow him to see if he could convince me to stay. As promised, he came back with a retention plan that had a mix of career planning, salary mapping, and investment opportunity. I still declined the offer, and he continued to celebrate me and my work, even offering to write a reference letter for me (P.S. he did this knowing full well that I was headed to the competitor). My last working day was filled with cake and time together with the team, celebrating all we had managed to accomplish together. And to this day, I still use an Airtel SIM card <3

Despite my experience in the resignation space, leaving is still always difficult for me. Sending the letter is always hard. You second guess yourself, question whether you've tried everything, whether you're being emotional or rational with your decision. And the hours after you click send but before you get a reply, are filled with anxiety and if you're like me, an upset stomach.

So, on a Tuesday morning, after weeks of contemplating it, I made the decision to click send. I had given my best at an organization that had loved me back. I said it then and I say it now, Mediacom Kenya was easily one of the best places I've ever worked at. It was filled with fun, pressure, growth, difficulty, friendship, failure and possibilities. The Marion who walked in 5 years ago as the Head of Strategy for 50+ brands, had grown to be the Managing Partner of a USD 9M+ billing entity! And I am filled with gratitude. At the privilege and the opportunity.

But I'm also thankful that I have a voice inside me that speaks, that didn't stop prodding me to stop and listen, that told me that my time was up. I'm thankful that I was brave enough to listen to that voice, and that it has rewarded my obedience with a peace that surpasses understanding.

And so here we are. It is official folks! So official that after posting this I'll need to update my LinkedIn profile :-).

Until we meet again,

XOXO EssenceMediacom WPP-Scangroup