A Day Filled with both Victory and Defeat.

My day started out slipping on the ice, again. Several canceled clients due to our weather, again. A theme that has taken over the end of 2022 and beginning of 2023 with our weather here in Bismarck. A lot of lost business due to it, I can be frustrated but not angry. Safety is always a priority and most of the times it has simply made it impossible for people to get around the city. Alors, c'est la vie, non? I was still dealing with a couple frustrating conversations in my life where I felt like it didn't matter what I contributed, I was going to be disregarded for reasons unknown to me. But, I still had a lot of enjoyable stuff to knock out for Team RWB and a fun spin class to look forward to, so came in to the studio with the best possible mindset I could. I knocked out a quick spin class and decided I would get to work. Work I was excited about.

I opened my email and the first email I see is from a fellowship program I had applied to, one I really, really wanted. I opened it hoping to see I had moved forward in the process. That was not the case. My application determined I wasn't at the caliber of the others that applied. A few things about me here:

• I don't fear rejection/failure. We can't ever accomplish things if we don't put ourselves out there. I apply for things all the time knowing they are a long shot. I often remind myself of Teddy Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena."

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

• I digress, apologies. But I really thought I had a shot this year for this program. I felt my presented project was relevant and important. I felt this would provide me the ground to make an impact in female service members and veterans.
• I also know the quality of people that have gone before me and that continue to apply and know that me not getting in is not necessarily a reflection on me and my work, it just means there were people better suited for the program. I just need to restructure my project and begin the work on it without the program backing it.

All of this and I was still crushed. I really wanted it. I really, really wanted this. I wanted it to grow an idea I have, to grow myself as a leader, and to be around people who just want to change the world.

So - I allowed myself a mini pity party. I capped it at ten minutes and got to work. Knocked out a few Zoom meetings, the top 3 things on my list to get done for Team RWB for the day and then looked at my schedule for the rest of the week as well as the weather, knowing I would have more time in my next couple of days. I decided I would stop; I was about 30 minutes short of what I wanted to hit today for hours, but know I can make it up easy tomorrow. (Being a part time employee with the flexibility to do so is pretty rad.)

So, I buckled down and got to work on 4 exams I had been putting off. I had done the work - but just kept putting the tests off. I was certain I was prepared enough to get it done, and I really didn't want to go home feeling like a failure (even though logically, I know this one fellowship doesn't get to determine that). I took the time and took 4-unit exams. I passed my first one with a 97%, the second and the third with 83% and the fourth with a 100% so an average of around 90%.

I am excited to say that I am now a Girls Gone Strong Level 1 Certified Women's Coaching Specialist. It provided a platform and an education to help health and fitness professionals better understand, connect with, serve, and empower their female clients.

It was when I began studying for this certification and seeing recent studies of women experiencing body dysmorphia in the military that I started to lay the groundwork for my project, for the fellowship I didn't get into. But I get to close my laptop tonight, knowing that fellowship or not, I accomplished something huge. There are not a lot of fitness professionals out there who hold this credential that I now do but more than that, I without a doubt have the knowledge and skillset to continue to move forward with my project. A project, that can hopefully help women across the country. And even more importantly, I get to close my laptop knowing that I went for something challenging, something many people wouldn't put the work into for fear of rejection, and even after being rejected I decided that would not dictate my day so I worked a little harder to make sure I could close this laptop genuinely proud of myself.?