The Day That Changed My Life

When I left the house for work on my bike 4 years ago today, little did I know that my life was about to dramatically change.

I had been working as a Lawyer for 20 years. Seven years earlier I had a breakdown as a result of work related stress. I had left the job that I was in and recently started a new job.

I was apprehensive about going back into the corporate legal world, because I still had low self-esteem, my head would regularly be filled with negative self-talk and although I had started practicing mindfulness and got my life back again, something kept telling me that I wanted more out of life, but I had no idea how to do it, or what I’d do exactly.

Three weeks earlier I had a cycling accident on a major road in Bristol. I hit a wet patch as I was entering the cycle path and flew over the handlebars, landing on my head, which cracked my helmet, and something penetrated deep into my leg. I was unable to walk for a couple of weeks and the 21 February 2017 was the first day I was going to cycle.

The weather was dry, so I felt confident. I had always been a keen cyclist, so the previous accident hadn’t really knocked my confidence.

As I came to the road where I had the previous accident, I remember checking my helmet to make sure it was secure.

The next few hours were a blur. I came around in an Ambulance. I don’t really know how long I was unconscious for, but it must have been a while. My fingers on my left hand hurt like hell and although I could feel blood coming from somewhere on my face, I didn’t feel a lot of pain in my face.

Several scans later and the consultant told me that he had good news and bad news. The good news was that I hadn’t broken my fingers, which I found hard to believe. The bad news was that I had broken nearly all the bones in the left side of my face, fractured the base of my skull, it was touch and go whether I would lose my sight in my left eye and I was deaf in my left ear.

I also had a lot of pressure on my skull, so it was too dangerous to operate for 2 weeks. I looked in the mirror and was gobsmacked at how I looked. It wasn’t me. There was a hole above my eyebrow on my forehead and I could see my skull. My face was very misshaped, with cuts and bruises everywhere.

I discovered that I had an accident in the exact same place as my previous accident. Who does that?

The next few months were difficult. I underwent major facial reconstructive surgery and could only drink and eat through a straw for around 4 months.

I was in and out of hospital throughout and my mental health suffered, because I soon realised that all my hobbies related to some form of fitness and I couldn’t even go for a walk.

At my lowest point, I felt like such a failure. I was no longer to be the wife I should have been, because overnight my husband had gone from being my lover to my carer. I couldn’t do things with my daughter and I felt totally useless. I was dreading going back to work and one night I managed to walk to my local beach, sat on a rock, cried my heart out and just let the tide wash over me. At that moment in time, I honestly believed that the world would be a much better place without me in it.

I was rescued from the thick mud by the Coast Guard. I usually hate being cold, but hadn’t even noticed if I was cold or not. I was just numb.

The next day, I had an epiphany. I didn’t want to feel like this anymore and I realised I had the choice to either give up, or get up and I was no quitter. I’d had more than a second chance at life and it was time to grab it with both hands.

I called my local Mind number and let it all pour out. The adviser was so lovely and told me I needed to go on a journey of self-discovery.

I realised I had to adapt and taught myself to play the guitar with the help of Youtube. I also learned to crochet.

My consultant told me that there would be things I’d never be able to do again, because of the pressure on my skull and the risk of further facial fractures.

I have always been a very determined person, so I started to set myself big goals relating to my recovery. My first was to go skiing 11 months after the accident. I wasn’t able to fly, so we got the Eurostar instead and when it came to skiing, I had to get off the ski lift at each level in order to allow the pressure to normalise. By the end of the week I was racing and I felt so proud of myself.

My next goal was to get back on a bike, because I had now developed a fear. I entered a half iron-man event, which included 56 miles riding on a bike. Coming over the finish line was such a huge achievement for me. Despite picking up stress fractures in my face during the event, I wasn’t going to stop.

I did try returning to work for a short time, but I struggled, because I would lose my memory often, so my performance suffered. I also struggled with my hearing and working in an open plan office.

During my recovery I realised that the career in law was not really my choice and I had lost my passion for it. I dreaded Monday’s and I wasn’t happy.  My love was in helping people. I had also experienced a lot of stigma and discrimination as a result of mental health over the previous few years and wanted to make it my mission to educate businesses on this.

Despite having a brain injury, I re-qualified in various areas of mental health, nutrition and NLP and started my own business working with Business Owners and Senior Executives heling them to have more time, better health, more wealth, improved sleep and better diet. I had a deep understanding of all of these issues and had spent a lot of time on my own personal development in these areas, which worked.

Realising the power of setting compelling goals and achieving them, made me want to help others find their purpose in life.

I started doing inspirational talks and was even invited to give a talk at the company where I had had my breakdown. Doing this was extremely hard, but I felt so empowered that I was able to overcome so much and do it. Only a year earlier every time I went near that office, I would have a panic attack, but my mindset was now in a different place. I had found my self-esteem and learned from my past experiences and used them in a positive way.

I learned to let-go of the things that no longer served me and developed a healthy set of coping strategies if I had any triggers.

Life was going really well and I realised that my accident was probably the best thing that could have happened to me, because it gave me to opportunity to chase my dreams instead of just sleeping with them.

Just when I thought things were settled, in July 2019, following a number of tests I received the news – “I’m sorry Mrs Hirons, but you have stage 3 cancer…”

To be continued…