That day back in time

It was a cold February night in London, over two decades ago. That evening, along with my wife and our 2 year old son, we went to see ‘The Bugs Life’, had pizza for dinner, and then went to bed. At about 4 am, I got up sweating with lots of pain across my chest, and it felt that a huge weight was bearing down upon me. I reached out for some water as I felt thirsty, but the sweating and pain continued. Was wondering if it was the pizza acting up. I woke up my wife, and she saw my state and immediately said that we should go to a hospital. The Sri Lankan cab driver quickly drove to the hospital- as we got down at the hospital, he didn’t take any money and asked us to rush in.

It was early Sunday morning, and the emergency team appeared a little short staffed. A few hours later, they declared it was what they called ‘myocardial infarct’ in the medical lingo, or a heart attack! This incident shook me- lying in the hospital, I could only think of my family, and on how long I might live!

Well, did I have any symptoms or indications before? Not really. The only indication, looking back, was that I would be slightly out of breath when I walked up 2 or 3 flights of stairs! The family history was the stronger reason.

Was this life changing- yes! While I got back to normal work, I started quite tentatively- not sure of how much to stretch myself. You are less confident. After a traumatic event, you are getting back on your feet and you have the nagging fear. I would worry about climbing stairs or my diet. I think the understanding and support of my Unilever colleagues was critical as I took those baby steps back, and slowly increased my confidence. You mind puts its own limitations on what you can do in the short term, and you even become less ambitious of your long term goals- but that’s the time you need the support and the understanding. I now realise it is all in the mind- but at that time it was difficult. Of course, there would be a small number of people who would write you off, but that is life! The support of my family, the many leaders and my team at Unilever was crucial in helping me through those days.

A regret I had was that I was a bit tentative in stretching myself early on –physically, but more importantly, in taking some long term bets on my life and career. In retrospect, I can assure you that its all in our minds- after such an incident we probably tend to have a less optimistic picture of the future, but I have come to realise over time that it is a mindset we need to change. Time, and your family and support system, all help you get back.

Well, I was reminded of this traumatic event in my life as I thought about the current pandemic and similar effects it might be having on the mental health of people. A little empathy and understanding is all that is needed. Similarly, for the people who have gone through mental health issues and other trauma- lets show our understanding and support, a small thing that might go a long way in their well being!

If you want to help spread awareness on mental health, NHRD is planning a Mental Health Awareness week from 5-10th Oct, leading up to the International Mental Health Day on 10th Oct. Do join the movement. More details here: