Day 97 - How to understand people better to enhance your communication effectiveness (1,000 days content creation challenge)

Understanding each other is the beginning of effective communication. But most people just focus on winning the argument which sometimes creates more conflict than real communication.

The big deal is for both parties to leave the conversation feeling understood and not just being heard.

Some people only care about putting their point across and being understood.

The problem with seeking to only be understood you come off as too selfish and people detest that. Even when you have great ideas, once people switch off, then they are gone and your ideas will go with the wind.

Why is it important to understand the other party first?

·???????? When you push to understand first, it creates a frame in your mind to appreciate the other party's beliefs and view points. This gives you enough raw materials on how you can influence them.

·???????? It also creates a sense of reciprocity in the other party to also listen and understand you which helps you get your message across.

·???????? You will also have better and healthier relationships. I have never heard someone talk about how they hate being understood. Better relationships lead to better communication which is a win-win.

·???????? You will feel good about yourself when you leave a conversation knowing that you kept it healthy and professional

You goal is to create conditions on how you can best be understood and the best way I know how is to understand the other party first

In a sense, it's about choosing to give what you want first - understand.

Here is a personal experience that comes to mind…

I recall being deadlocked in a heated conversation with someone close to me and we were going nowhere. I choose to take a deep breath and then asked…

Kindly help me understand, what would you really wish to see happen?

This opened up a new window of relaxation and explanation from the other party. Not arguing but explaining.

By me giving the other party space to express themselves, they later gave me space to express myself and we ended the conversation on a good note.

The point is…

It's not just about expressing yourself; it's about communicating. To truly communicate, there has to be understanding. Not necessarily agreeing but each party feeling understood.

Here is how to make sure you understand people while communicating and in return you will boost your chances of being understood…

·???????? Set the intention to create an environment of understanding

·???????? Ask questions to seek clarity

·???????? Be fully present mentally, emotionally and spiritually such that you pick all the necessary cues from body language to tone of voice

·???????? Do not interrupt when the other party is speaking. Hear them out fully. Let them finish what they are saying

·???????? Paraphrase what they are saying and confirm if what you have said is accurate. For example, "Let me see if I Am getting you correctly…you said…is that correct?"

·???????? Ask - what are your thoughts on…

·???????? Ask - How did/does that make you feel?

·???????? Depending on the context, you could also ask - "What are your plans moving forward?"

Remember to…

·???????? Set the intention to create an environment of understanding

·???????? Ask questions to make sure you are understanding

·???????? Be fully present mentally, emotionally and spiritually to fully understand the other party

When you do all the above, you will enhance your communication results and the other party will enjoy the experience which is a great outcome to enjoy, right?

Let me know your biggest takeaway from this piece by commenting below. If you found this to be useful, you are welcome to share with others.

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