Day 4: It's Not the Matzah
Days 4-5 - Friday-Saturday, Nov. 29-30, 2020
Ma,
I have good news -- make that the BEST news all week -- and a little wacky news, too.
First, let’s start off with my dreams this past week. I dream that I’m stuck outside and I’m COVID-positive. I can’t get back inside when I’m supposed to be in isolation. I’m walking through schools with a ton of kids, and I’m holding my breath under my mask. I’m refusing to tell them why I’m so nervous. But the hallways and rooms just keep getting more crowded, and I keep picking the wrong ones. Then I find myself out on the street, but I can’t get home.
The weird thing about these dreams is that I can see everyone’s faces up close. It’s not just my panic, but it’s everyone looking at me knowing I’m panicked about something, and not wanting to make eye contact with someone who makes them uncomfortable because she looks crazy.
I didn’t have the dream last night, and it’s probably because I finally was able to fully breathe. The girl I’ve told you about - the one I bought a smoothie for before we sat down and I ate a sandwich outside as she showed me how to draw on my ipad - she isolated for five days with her family. Ma, they all tested NEGATIVE on Friday evening. They waited five days after I notified them by 7am Monday morning. I am so thankful that they are okay, and they were so kind and gracious in accepting my apologies over and over all week.
All of my kids who tested ended up being negative, Ma. Outdoor, masked, distanced works. Fresh air, plenty of space, breaks and good masks.
As for me, well I had some funny conversations this weekend. I talked to one of our alum who is now a senior in college. Max had COVID-19 when he was in Spain for a semester in March. I was in a Zoom with his mom, who has become a reliable friend. Max hopped on to say hello, and it was so great to see him. During that convo, I asked his Jewish stepdad who was off screen if he’d ever heard of matzah ball soup giving anyone indigestion. Max fielded it, and said that he had acid reflux for at least a month almost every day after COVID-19. I remember having it last week, but this week it’s just tightness after I eat. I asked Max if he still has acid reflux or indigestion.
“The acid reflux gets bad now only when I drink,” he said. “So I take a Tums.”
“Wait, instead of not drinking, you drink and eat Tums?”
He gave me the one shoulder shrug and smile.
College boys, Ma.
Max was sick for a few weeks to a month, it seemed, and he’s since recovered. He plays a lot of hoops outside, and feels like his wind is almost back in full, but it took a while. Max also filled me in on a symptom that I’m now monitoring -- it’s called COVID toe. His younger stepbrother, age 11, had it when he had COVID back in March. “Google it,” Max said. “And you’ll see.”
After I spoke with Max and his mother, I hopped on the phone with my Jewish grandmother, Lois Anne, who was kind enough to adopt me and house me during a trip to Kentucky in 2018. I was so happy to call her and talk because she always makes me laugh. I wanted to draw an image of someone for today’s entry. The problem with Lois Anne is that she refused to let me take her photo. I had to google “Jewish grandmother” and I found a happy Jewish woman.
Lois Anne lived in NYC for years before moving to Louisville where she is a phenomenal gardener, cook and dog-lover. I am none of the above except that I’ve grown very fond of dogs since the pandemic started. I stop and pet them sometimes, and I find dog and animal videos far too entertaining. This is what happens maybe when you either slow down or have little to do aside from work and go to the grocery store.
“I really thought it was matzah ball soup and left over matzah that was giving me indigestion,” I told Lois Anne, who makes the best chicken soup I’ve ever had.
“Matzah ball soup is supposed to make you feel better,” she told me.
“I just felt awful after I had it for dinner on Monday and then almost every night dinner just made me feel lousy. Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention to how far back this went. I kept thinking matzah was what caused it. Like I was allergic to it.”
“It’s not the matzah,” Lois Anne said.
“It’s the COVID,” I said with resignation.
I told Lois Anne that I do yoga while watching movies and series on Disney or Netflix. I said that I watched Hamilton, finally.
“Whenever I start to watch it," she said, "I think of 10 things I have to do. I just can’t get through it.”
“Hamilton was supposed to be brilliant - a writer, economist, founder, right? Yet he agreed to a duel with Burr, which is only going to end with one of two scenarios, neither of which is good. What the hell was he thinking? I loved how all the raps moved the story forward, but what a stupid way to go,” I said.
“They’re men,” she said.
Lois Anne said I haven’t watched a musical until I’ve seen American in Paris and The Bandwagon. She said I had to watch them both. I promised I would. She offered to make me some banana bread. I said no thank you due to the distance and the mailing hassle.
“You really need some soup,” she said. “I wish I could make it for you.”
My friend Heidi text and said to get some Listerine for apparently it is supposed to help. I wrote down chicken noodle soup and Listerine on my grocery list, but it isn’t enough to put in a delivery, so I’ll wait until I can think of more things I need.
I’ve been watching a bunch of movies and series - Queen’s Gambit, The Queen, Hillbilly Elegy while doing yoga and working and drawing. I’ve also been watching my toes. They’re looking kinda purple, Ma. My Northwestern friend Rick called to check on me. I told him that I was monitoring a possible case of COVID Toe.
“Well, maybe it’s just a little Northwestern toe.”
Your grandson Luke was nice enough to FaceTime me during the Northwestern vs. Michigan State football game. “Aunt Maureen,” he said. “Northwestern is on. We’re big fans.”
“You are?” I said with a smile. “As of when?”
“Did you know they’re eighth in the country?” Luke said.
He pointed his dad’s phone toward the TV and we watched together. The Cats did not perform well, but the silver lining was watching Luke learn about the rules of football with his dad while watching my college team. He said, “We’re fans.” I was so proud.
Sure, it stinks that the Cats had a let down. But as my good friend who played at Michigan always says, “You get up to win each day.” We won the day, Ma. None of my kids, staff, parents or contacts that I know of woke up with COVID because of me.
On Friday before I found out about the final negative test we were waiting on, I called the shoe store where I bought a pair of shoes on West 72nd. I told the manager that I was sorry, but I had COVID and there were two older gentlemen who helped me -- last Saturday. I called on Friday AM because I was afraid the city wouldn’t get around to doing it. I apologized for not calling earlier in the week.
“We’re all healthy around here,” the manager said.
I gulped. He didn’t ask for the names of the men or my name or when I was diagnosed or for me to repeat the day and time I was in the store. There was no way for me to go to the store and tell the men myself.
I’m just going to assume that the wide open doors, the circulating air, the fact that I wasn’t close to either of them for long helped prevent me from passing it. I was so glad that I switched into the thicker KN95 mask that molded more to my face than the others. I am going to assume that these two men, like the girl who was inside with me for a short time - less than 10 minutes - are okay. I know why the manager acted the way he did. I know what he was thinking, and I get it, Ma. I also know that there are many people with COVID going in and out of stores, and let’s hope that those wide open doors are protecting everyone because hope is all we got while this virus spreads like wildfire. Whether we are symptomatic or asymptomatic, it’s still running wild and only going to get worse before the Hail Mary of all vaccines is available for everyone.
My chest still gets tight after I eat, but I am eating less and it’s helping. I’m going to figure out how to get some soup tomorrow. I’m also now looking at my feet and wondering if I have COVID toe. I’ll ask Aunt Carol and see what she says. She checks in with me everyday and asks for my symptoms. Other than that buildup of tension in my chest after I eat, and that trace of a headache that seems to be dissipating for good, I’m feeling good, Ma. I’m feeling lucky and more thankful than I have felt in a long time.
Love,
Maureen