Day 18/21: Stand Your Ground (Part 2)

It looks like I have to split this topic further and insert a part 3 installment (for tomorrow) because there’s so much to say.

Especially because this is an area I really struggled with for years.

As an entrepreneur, especially as a freelancer/ consultant you’re constantly up-skilling and improving your skills to stay on top of your game. This is standard practice, at least for me.

However, sometimes we forget that there are ‘soft skills’ to work on that will take you farther than your actual consulting or freelancing skills.

Today I want to mention one skill in particular that many entrepreneurs just never learn or learn late to their detriment. One that if you don’t quickly acquire, will see you struggle throughout your career to maintain boundaries or when needful, say goodbye to those ‘bad apple’ clients (see Day 17/21 post).

Learning To Have Difficult Conversations.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been in business one month or one year, you must learn early in your entrepreneurial career to initiate difficult conversations with your clients. Be it on budgets, project expectations and scope or simply, communicating a boundary that has been crossed.

One of my favorite quotes by Tim Ferris, author of the 4 Hour work Week, sums this up well: “A person’s success in life can be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”

In the same breath, if ever you feel like you’re repeating a cycle of challenges with your clients, it’s highly probable that you also rarely initiate difficult conversations with them.

Important to note though that just because a client appears to be difficult, doesn’t actually mean they are.

You may not want to hear this especially if this is something you’re going through now or been through to your detriment. But there’s always the other side of the story. It could be:

• They just don’t know, or they can’t see their ‘flaws’ because no one has ever had the courage to tell them.
• They are as overwhelmed as you are with things unrelated to you or the project (or even have their own personal issues going on).
• They are having a hard time letting go of control over aspects of their business (especially if they are also entrepreneurs themselves) and trusting that you can handle tasks assigned to you well enough. Hence default to micro managing.

Trust me on this one. I’ve been on both sides of the equation: as the fed up freelancer/ consultant and as the imperfect client.

I talked about alpha women clients yesterday. It could have come across that I don’t like working with them. Not at all. I just understand them a bit more.

The mere fact that we even refer to them as ‘alphas’, means that intrinsically, these women leaders have a lot more to handle and a lot more to lose than the average woman.

They are likely leading formidable teams, their professional reputation and aptitude is on the line 247, notably because the are women fighting for their space in a business world that is primary led by men. Hence their insecurities will regularly show up in your interactions as difficult, draining, inconsistent, erratic, stressful, etc.

That said, it will take many candid conversations throughout your lifetime working with them and generally with all your clients, to restore clarity and resolve any issues you may have.

Question.

When a client ‘ticks you the f*** off’…should you explode? Give them a piece of your mind? Quietly up and leave immediately, after a week, several weeks? Or should you stick around?

That’s up to you, but here are a few things to consider before you decide to say goodbye like Maria in the Sound of Music:

1. Reassess how important this client is to you. If you genuinely love working with them and you see a potentially good future, then the temporary discomfort of a candid conversation might be well worth it. Reality is good paying clients are few and far between. If you think you have a good one, then no need to be quick to throw in the towel. At least not without a candid conversation.
2. Set clear expectations from the start with a contract. I can’t stress this enough. Always sign a contract or Statement of Work that clearly maps out expectations and boundaries. That way there’s never any confusion and misunderstandings can be quickly be cleared up against the contract.
3. You could be kicking yourself if you’re currently working without a contract. (If you are, read my Day 6/21 post, you will feel better). Thankfully, it’s never too late to draft one after the fact.
4. Here’s a short script you can approach them with:
5. “As my business grows, I have realized that I need to start keeping better documentation of my clients needs and expectations. I’ve drafted up this contract to make sure we’re always on the same page. Could you look it over and come back to me with any questions or revisions?”
6. Stand your ground. Don’t be afraid to push back respectfully. With clarity, be ready to explain what your problem is, how it’s impacting your work, their business or others on the team and what MUST to change to move forward.
7. Keep things factual and don’t get personal or emotional. I know this can be tricky especially if you’re hurting but stick to facts and stats and specific examples (if you have them).
8. Remember, no matter what happens in the end, your client will respect you more for having the courage to stand up for yourself and hold your ground.
9. Ask yourself, in the grand scheme of things, “can this situation be turned around or is the relationship flat out toxic.” If it’s toxic, get out FAST.

Does the above help? If not and you’re sure you want to exit, tomorrow I’ll share ways to kick that annoying client to the curb.

C’est la vie, non?

#21daysofentrepreneurship?